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Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

Last year, while watching Ted, I floated a theory that I've since learned is not factually accurate, but may be spiritually true: Seth MacFarlane is a Scientologist. Yes, yes, I know that MacFarlane is an outspoken atheist, but all the warning signs are there. Is he grotesquely wealthy? Yes. Is

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! - Ant-Man and comedian Jackie Kashian

One of the more interesting, possibly sketchy things about the deluge of comic book movies we find ourselves inundated with, is the prospect of Marvel and DC expanding their reach to include B-list titles, such as the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy adaptation. These production companies are so glut with

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Blended"

It's my distinct pleasure to share with you yet another presumed tax write-off from the good folks at Happy Madison. Adam Sandler has spent the past decade, or so, creating a tidy cottage industry of tricking movie studios into giving him money to take his friends on vacations, and Blended

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Million Dollar Arm"

Now that we've settled into the unlikely chapter of our collective history, titled "The Reign of Matthew McConaughey (or, the 'McConaissance')," it's high time we begin exploring the frustrating state of American Treasure Jon Hamm's film career. While Hamm remains a shining, handsome beacon of light on one of the

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! - Godzilla and the Gathering of the Juggalos

Godzilla: Opens Friday, May 16 Every generation suffers through trial and tribulations. War, famine, economic collapse - for people of a certain generation, one injustice still stings to this very day. We all remember well where we were, sitting in a cool theater in the summer of 1998, as a chilling

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Mom's Night Out"

As 2014 continues, unabated, to be the Year of the Religious MovieTM, we find ourselves faced with an unusual entrant in the growing genre of pandering Christian movies. Whereas claptrap like God's Not Dead and Heaven is For Real (to say nothing of the forthcoming Creationism screed, A Matter of

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "The Amazing Spider-Man 2"

Can I be honest with you, for just a moment? Usually, this column is full of blowhard nonsense that just comes from a deep insecurity in my abilities as an artist, thus necessitating my shitting on films that I will never see. This week, I interviewed Ira Glass. Ira fucking

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! - Star Wars Day, Smart People, Musicians For Oso

For nerds, this weekend is a very special one, for it contains within the mysterious power of Star Wars Day. May 4th (as in "may the 4th be with you," nudge nudge, wink wink), while an unofficial holiday, is still a fervently celebrated one, and 2014's installment couldn't have come

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "The Other Woman"

Nick Cassavetes has never had the track record of his father, John. The elder Cassavetes was unimpeachably important as one of the catalysts of the American indie film movement, and his catalogue is peerlessly valuable to the cinematic landscape. Though his directorial output was relatively brief, even a cursory glance

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "A Haunted House 2"

Once again, we find ourselves poised on the edge of a crevasse, gazing into the howling void that is Marlon Wayans. But what gazes back? Only madness. Madness and homophobic jokes.A Haunted House is finally receiving its long-awaited sequel, after a whole year of anxious debate online about what events

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! - Shatner's World and Particle Fever

SHATNER'S WORLD Proving, once again, that there is no end to Hollywood's repackaging of franchises and exploiting of nerds, it was announced recently that J.J. Abrams' Star Trek films will be touring the country for a series of screenings featuring live musical accompaniment. The Star Trek concert series will be accompanied

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Oculus"

If I had a haunted mirror for every lame horror trailer I've had to endure for this column, I'd have entirely too many mirrors for one person. Like, you'd come over to my house and it'd be the first thing you'd notice. A crazy amount of mirrors. And they're all

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

I do a lot of indiscriminate bashing of movies (sight unseen, never to be corrected) for this column. It's fun! In the case of movies like the recent, bafflingly shitty God's Not Dead, it's both rewarding and entirely warranted. Other times, I take potshots at movies that might end up

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! "Community" and a cool voice-over workshop

COMMUNITY G.I. JOE PARODY As of this writing, Rob Schrab (creator of the cult comic Scud: The Disposable Assassin, and co-creator of The Sarah Silverman Program) is in an office, somewhere in Los Angeles, furiously working to finish animation of the G.I. Joe parody episode of Community - which is slated

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Noah"

If gopher wood could withstand a world-killing flood, you'd think we'd be using still be using the stuff. Well, maybe Noah took the last bit of it with him for his boat. Here we're, once again, greeting another entrant in 2014's Year of Religious MoviesTM. This time, though, we're going about

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "God's Not Dead" and "Muppets Most Wanted"

Recently, I wrote about a movie called Last Ounce of Courage. It was a Christian film about the War on Christmas (trademark), wherein the villain was a politician who wouldn't allow Jesus to be celebrated in a public square. Such is the case with Christian-produced films - the atheist is

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! Hellboy turns 20 and "Is the Man Who is Tall Happy?" screens at The Grand Cinema

March 21-27: Is the Man Who is Tall Happy? This is precisely the type of movie that is built to kill at an art house, but would go unseen at any other theater. Here's the elevator pitch: Restlessly inventive French Director Michel Gondry animates a conversation with linguist and logician Noam

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "Need for Speed"

I think that the Need for Speed trailer's use of a Muse song is actually quite telling. Just as Muse is the broey, populist, dumbed down take on Radiohead's icy grandiosity, Need for Speed seems likewise to be the juvenile spin on Drive's existential exploration of gearhead machismo. Still, there's a

Walkie Talkie Blog

Judging by the Trailer: "300: Rise of an Empire"

I suppose we all knew it was inevitable, this return to the Frank Miller well. With a Sin City sequel on the way, it's about time we get a follow-up to the tastelessly pulpy spectacle of 300. What's most baffling about the whole thing, though, is who has been chosen

Walkie Talkie Blog

Nerd Alert! - Mr. Peabody and Italian insanity

FRIDAY, MARCH 7 As a child, I was raised on the delightfully slapdash cartoons of old, via VHS and LaserDisc. Stuff like Beany and Cecil, Popeye, Gumby, and Rocky & Bullwinkle were huge foundational entertainments for me. Sandwiched in the middle of my Rocky & Bullwinkle tapes were these odd little

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