>>> BEST NICE GUY WITH A QUAKER BEARD

Glen Anderson

Everybody in Olympia who is not blind or in a coma recognizes Glen Anderson's white hair and Quaker-style beard, not to mention his soothing and reasoned voice. Anderson has been a longtime leader of Olympia's chapter of the Fellowship of Reconciliation, and for well over 20 years has hosted FOR's weekly television shows on Thurston County Community Television. And if you've ever been to a peace rally or demonstration, he's the guy in charge of maintaining peace and security. Bless you, Glenn Anderson. - Alec Clayton

>>> BEST DOG-LOVING GUITAR GURU

Dude Man

Man, I remember when Dude Man came on the scene. Standing in front of Caffé Vita holding a sign aimed at traffic that just said, "Smoke Me Out." Bro takes it to the max, yo. His far-out view on what it means to be alive comes through heavy when you see him hunker down in the evenings on Fourth Avenue and find his inner Jimi, jamming out with a little Pignose amp and his dogs that he loves more than anything in this world, just trying to touch the universe with his sonic vibrations. Don't be scared, dude. He just wants you to see there's another way possible, ya know? We don't all have to be fucking robots. - Scabby McCrusto

>>> BEST GROUP OF WOMEN ON WHEELS

The Oly Rollers

These girls make their own JELL-O shots for fundraising, breathed life into the suffering Skateland and reigned as undefeated WFTDA champions in 2009. They know how to party, play dirty and skate like freight trains. They get extra kudos for building player confidence through competition and creativity. With three levels of skill and deadliness, the Donnas are ass-kicking machines. Then there are the Cosa Nostra Donnas, Dropkick Donnas and Bella Donnas, which they dub "fresh meat." Ain't nothing better than fishnet- and safety-gear-wearing women wheeling around, knocking each other over like true professionals. We love you Oly Rollers! Muah! - Nikki Talotta

[Skateland, 1200 South Bay Road NE, 360.352.9943, olyrollers.com]

>>> BEST GARDEN ORGANIZATION

Garden Raised Urban Bounty

Garden Raised Urban Bounty, or GRUB as it is commonly known, is an organization working to create urban garden plots throughout the community. They have programs to build kitchen gardens at people's residences and they encourage high school students to work on or visit the urban farm. The farm in northwest Olympia is a place to visit or get a variety of organically grown, delicious produce. The organization is diligently working with the City of Olympia to increase the number of community gardens in the community - which is awesome. - Brooke McKenzie

[2016 Elliot Ave. NW, Olympia, 360.753.5522]

>>> BEST PLACE TO MEET YOUR FUTURE BABY MAMA

Olympia Transit Center

Remember a few years ago when those idiots at Intercity Transit thought blasting some classical music would drive the kids away from hanging out at the Transit Center all day? Yeah, that worked. Actually, some of us are more cultured than we look, and when we meet some fresh-faced Betty from Shelton and wow her with our knowledge of Brahms or Chopin, it's like, "Thanks for setting ‘em up, I.T., I'll knock em down." Shit, man. She wants to piss off her dad by making out with me in public? I'm down. Maestro, a little mood music please. - SM

>>> BEST NATURE STROLL

Burfoot Park

Whether down slippery trails at Priest Point Park or up steep slopes in the Capital Forest, Thurston County isn't short on hikes. But what about when you're in the mood for a good, relaxing stroll? Burfoot Park out on Boston Harbor Road has one of the easiest walks around. Perfect for those gray days when you feel like getting into nature, but not fully committing to it. A short, quarter-mile trail past tall trees and over tiny streams is all that separates the parking lot from a secluded stretch of Puget Sound. Burfoot is rarely crowded, and the covered shelters provide ample space for family get-togethers and romantic picnics. - Brett Cihon 

[6927 Boston Harbor Road NE, Olympia]

>>> BEST SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE

The Little Dirt Island In The Alley Behind The Vault

Hey, man. You don't need to post provocative photos of yourself taken in the bathroom mirror on the Internet to get uncomfortably harassed by creepy old pedophiles looking to cop a feel. Try being a teenage homeless girl on the street in Olympia. Back at the little dirt island in the alley behind the Vault you can sit down and rest your weary feet, smoke a little something for a second if you need to calm down from the anxiety of your street life, all while you fend off drooling old weirdos on stolen bikes with sweatpants boners. Oh, and you can make friends with people who are in the same situation, and who just might help you out. Power in numbers, my friend. - SM

>>> BEST PROFESSIONAL LESBIAN

Anna Schlecht

Anna Schlecht has been Olympia's most visible gay rights activist since way back in the '70s when it was much more risky to be out. She lead the charge in the Hands Off Washington campaign in the late ‘80s - who even remembers that? - and she helped start the first Pride parade 20 years ago and has been an active organizer and participant in Pride events every year since. She also founded the Rainbow Center virtual GLBT community center and co-founded Unity in the Community, which responds to hate crimes and other crises as they arise, such as when the Nazis came to town a few years ago. And just within the past month she has announced the founding of a GLBT eldercare project connected with the national organization SAGE, a social service and advocacy organization dedicated to GLBT senior citizens. - AC

>>> BIGGEST EYESORE

Olympia's New City Hall

Ugh. Last year for Olympia's New Year's resolution, I declared we should all embrace our newest downtown neighbor, City Hall. But as the building nears completion, I can only wince every time I see its intrusive size, its institutional color and its steel frame that seems to scream, "Parking downtown is going to really suck, and a ton of money was flushed into my construction when we could really use help funding public services." - NT (Photography by Devin True)

[615 Fourth Ave., Olympia]

>>> BEST USE OF A CAT AS FASHION ACCESSORY

Sam The Cat Man

You know, everywhere you look now you see all these fucking little posers. Every wannabe crusto has a fucking cat on their fucking shoulder. It's fucking bullshit.  You think you can just tattoo your face, slap on some patchwork and you're fucking down? Why don't you get a few of your teeth knocked out by a truck full of homophobic hillbillies from Tumwater, or wake up unconscious in the ER because some jocko dicks came down to ‘Fucking Rage, Bro!" Sam started it just trying to watch out for some kittens down on their luck. Nobody forced those adult cats to get it on, but innate human kindness forced Sam to protect their offspring. I thought he should get a shout-out for being the OG kitten wrangler. Put in your time or go back to your mom's house and get back in school, kid. Anarchy ain't for the weak. And a cat in your hood don't make you down. - SM

>>> BEST PLACE TO INSPIRE THE KIDS

Hands On Children's Museum

For all the future leaders of Olympia, all the musicians, artists, teachers, engineers, record label owners and pro-cannabis politicians, the Hands on Children's Museum is the perfect place to start nurturing those aspirations. Rainy days tend to gloom over Olympia, forcing reruns of Bob the Builder on the impressionable minds of our children, but Hands On Children's Museum is ready to counteract that gloom with a giant space brimming with waterwheels, noisemakers, a construction site and more. Chuck E. Cheese's ain't got nothing on this Oly original for hours of fun and excitement. - NT

[106 11th Ave. SW, Olympia, 360.956.0818]

>>> MOST ACTIVE ON FACEBOOK

Charles Clark

This man-about-town is known to be at least on "idle" for most of the 24 hours in a day, will comment on any and all posts, and has links to the best YouTube mash-ups around. With his ever-changing profile pic and endless supply of witty comments, this guy rivals any so-called Facebook addicts. Move over little sisters of Olympia, Charles Clark wins this one by a long shot. By the way, he accepts all friend requests, so fire up that laptop and friend yourself a winner. - NT

>>> BEST PLACE TO WASTE YOUR TEENAGE YEARS

Yauger Skatepark

Roll over to Yauger Skateboard park on any given day and you're liable to see teenagers fighting, smoking weed and drawing naked pictures of women on the cement with a paint pen. You're also guaranteed to see teenagers having a damn fun time riding a plank of wood. For over 10 years, Yauger Skatepark has been a home away from home to many of Olympia's teens. Kids with nicknames like Mormon Fury, Yaug-Dog and Blondie have spent the greater part of their lives at this cement palace. Whether it's rock-to-fakies in the snake or kickflip back tails on the sitting ledge, Yauger Skatepark provides an invaluable spot for the youth of Olympia to screw off, chill with friends and, most importantly, skate. - BC

[3100 Capital Mall Drive SW, Olympia]

>>> BEST PEOPLE WATCHING

Capitol Lake

On a typical Olympia summer day, when the sun is glaring off flesh that's normally covered in leather or corduroy, when hair starts showing around the low-cut armpits of tank tops, when New Balance sneakers, Converse low tops and the furry feet of Labradors beat the street in a mile and half of friendly banter while the walkers sneak peeks at glutes and abs, you know you are in Capitol Lake people-watching heaven. Throw in a glimpse of your hot professor or favorite barista crush and you'll agree, the beads of sweat starting to form on your forehead aren't just from the sweltering 70 degree weather. - NT