BEST LAST LAUGH
Lakewood road painting
Puget Sound Energy and the city of Lakewood Public Works tested the nerves of those accessing Bridgeport Way and Custer Road Southwest this past winter and spring. Long lines of cars backed up on both roads and weaved through interested temporary lanes as a gas main replacement project caused hole after hole to be dug up, around the clock. Speeding cars flew pass Dower Elementary attempting to bypass the mess. Appointments were dropped to avoid the anger and confusion. The poor construction workers had the last laugh, though. The months of abuse they took felt better after the street painters laid crooked white lines and massive paint smears on Custer Road. So there asshole drivers! - Ron Swarner
BEST STREET FIXING IDEA EVER
Mildred Street Resurfacing Project
Tacoma residents are used to potholes. Driving in some older parts of town is not unlike sitting on a game of Perfection (yeah, you know that game where all the pieces pop out and if you don't, you're missing out). But Mildred Street near TCC has gone above and beyond potholes. Not so much potholes as a network of ragged, uneven, bumpy-ass asphalt remnants. It only took about five years of suspension-destroying bliss for this project to finally come to fruition. Beginning in Spring 2014 and slated to be finished in September 2014, the $2.6 million Mildred Street Resurfacing Project is here to save the day - replacing the asphalt with concrete, upgrading the storm water system, and expanding the street from five lanes to three lanes. - Kristin Kendle
BEST CRAFT BEER FESTIVAL IN A STADIUM
Tacoma Craft Beer Festival
Last September, some 6,000 people gathered at Cheney Stadium to cheer on a competition that exemplified America. No, not baseball. How much beer you can you drink before passing out! With around 75 breweries participating in the Tacoma Craft Beer Festival, competition was fierce! The TCBF had, prior to 2013, been held near downtown Tacoma; a change of venue was needed to accommodate a larger number of event-goers. Expectations were high, and boy, did they ever succeed. Beer flowed. Great bands played. A good time was had by all. As for me, if asked to recount what I drank that beautiful afternoon, I couldn't do it. I mostly ended up hanging out in the Weekly Volcano "Chill" Lounge, trying to figure out how many tokens I had left and what beer I should get next. Cheers to event producers Bennett and Roxi! - John Kephart
BEST PLACE TO FIND MARBLES ON MONKEYSHINES IN 2014
Tacoma Community College
Marble Man has been around for years, hiding handmade and vintage marbles in unsuspecting places around town on Monkeyshines. Can't find a coveted orb or medallion? Take comfort in the marble. The precious. But don't underestimate the power of finding a marble. Marbles are tiny. Marbles are a challenge. In 2014, marbles were practically popping out of Tacoma's nooks and crannies, but one place was either completely untapped by the masses or Marble Man (or a re-hider) went to town - Tacoma Community College's campus was a veritable marble orchard. Tucked into pots and Japanese gardens and under bushes were marbles aplenty. Will TCC be marble central next year? Only Marble Man knows. - Kim Thompson
BEST GHOST TOUR IN TACOMA
Brandy's Attic
Even if it's not Halloween, sometimes you just need to get your ghost on. Fortunately, the Terrified in Tacoma has got you covered. The tour gets you revved for some creep from the start. The tours meet at Brandy's Attic on Antique Row, rain or shine, but it's definitely a bit more fun in the shine. Arrive a bit early, wander the shop, and ask to see the old photo album for a little pre-ghost tour warm up. On the tour, you'll hear tales of spirits told in style (and with an iPad for visual aids) by the tour guides, Andrew and Charlie Hansen. Who knew there were so many haunts in the old theaters or that Tacoma had a vengeful mummy spirit or even that there were EVPs right at Brandy's Attic? 755 Broadway, Tacoma - KK
BEST DOWNHILL RACE FIASCO
Nose Ringers vs. Old Farts
Hey, wasn't First Night great this year? It had everything from ice skating at the Franciscan Polar Plaza to a performance by Stephanie Anne Johnson - coming off her recent appearance on The Voice - to Tacomapoly to that soapbox derby race "Nose Ringers vs. the Old Farts" ... err, maybe we shouldn't talk about that race. After all, one of the cars careened out of control and plowed into a spectator. Yes, better not to dwell upon those small death machines and the havoc created for the real victims here, the city's insurers. I can only hope, for their sake, someone plans better next year. What? They'll probably never do this again? I think the Old Farts just won. - JK
BEST ELEVATOR
Murray Morgan Bridge
The Murray Morgan Bridge (also called the 11th Street Bridge) is a Tacoma icon: standing guard over Thea Foss Waterway, the site of union protests and ghastly street car accidents alike, plus it has a really great view. That's right. MMB is one bad ass bridge. In recent years, the bridge has spent most of its time closed down for repairs, but in 2013, the bridge reopened complete with a walking path. In 2014, the walking path got just a scosh awesomer with an elevator between the walkway at ground level and the walkway on the bridge. In layman's terms, that means no more hoofing it up a gajillion flights of stairs and instant access between downtown and Thea Foss. What other elevator in town has so much purpose? That's right. None. - KK
BEST ADVERTISING NEON SIGN PLACEMENT
Sam J. Fogerty, Attorney At law, P.S.
Personal injury attorney Sam Fogerty is a smart guy. Besides being a graduate from Lakes High School (go Lancers!), Fogerty recently opened a beautiful new office building in Lakewood. Specializing in auto accidents, among others, he installed a neon reader board on the front of his building, which really can only be viewed from McDonald's and Starbucks - two of the worst designed parking lots in the history of the universe. Both drive-thru entrances are clusterf---s, with passing parking lot traffic colliding with the idling automobiles in line, or in the case at Starbucks, opposing traffic forced to play chicken. We've witnessed several accidents in the Starbucks lot. Brilliant Mr. Fogerty! - RS
BEST PARKING LOT VIEW
Target
You need some odds and ends. Allergy pills and new ear buds ... and maybe a birthday card for your nephew while you're at it. You pull into the Target parking lot at S. 23rd Street and Union. You're in the moment. Eye on the prize. And then you look up and bam! Hello, Mt. Rainier. Granted, great Mt. Rainier and water views can be had in many unexpected places, but on a clear day, it's tough to top the wide-open view of the mountain from this parking lot. The contrast of big box stores with stunning natural beauty is also great for a ponderous moment. - KK
BEST USE OF EMPTY TACOMA ART MUSEUM STEPS
Haub Family Collection
Since its very inception, Tacoma Art Museum has had some snazzy yet largely unused outdoor space just outside its front door. Sure, the space had some modern appeal. Some lonely steps. But it was just missing that special je ne sais quoi until late 2013 when the museum broke ground for an entirely new wing. The new wing will add 32 percent more space to the museum, which means 16,000 new square feet! Those thousands of new square feet will house the Haub Family Collection of Western American Art, a huge collection donated to the museum that will make TAM one of the only museums in the U.S. to have such an extensive Western art collection. In short - TAM is moving up in the world and the empty steps outside are already in the process of transforming into something awesome. The new wing is set to open in November 2014. - KK
BEST HEROES
Tacoma Business Improvement Area
Link light rail runs 1.6 miles from Tacoma Dome Station to the Theatre District and is FREE. The only free transit service left in the entire Puget Sound region! Like the rest of the free transit zones, it looked for a while there like Link would start charging $1 per ride in September 2014. The horror! There was panic in the streets. Tacomans love their tiny free train to shuttle around between museums and free parking at the Dome. Fortunately, the Tacoma Business Improvement Area also loves the Link, which helps keep people moving around downtown and in general makes downtown Tacoma more welcoming. In a move that only true heroes would make, the BIA offered to pay everyone's fares until 2016. That's $29K a year. Thanks, BIA. - KK
BEST HOUR AT WALGREEN'S ON SIXTH AND SPRAGUE
7:30 p.m., February 9, 2014
Look, everyone gets ‘rhea, but you don't have to bump into me all angry. I'm not the one with issue, so I wouldn't be pissing me off, my friend. But you have, and because you've been an official asshole, now you have to enter the Pappi Swarner bowel-testing wait loop of endurance. Whoops, looks like I'm going to step in front of you in line. Whoops, looks like I need 100 pennies. Cashier doesn't have 100 pennies? Hang on, I think I'm going to need a manager. - RS
SEE ALSO
Other 2014 Best of Tacoma readers' poll winners and Weekly Volcano staff picks