I'd like to start out by just going ahead an awarding Last Vegas with the 2013 title of "Most Likable Cast in a Movie I Will Never See." The film - predicated on the idea that Morgan Freeman, Michael Douglas, Kevin Kline and Robert De Niro would EVER, in any universe, be longtime best friends - is the latest in a series of hee-larious examinations of old people trying to have fun.

"Who do they think they are? Young people?" scoff the makers of Last Vegas.

The trailer opens with Douglas having a conference call with his very best buddies to let them know that he's finally tying the knot. Off to Vegas they go for a weekend of sin and debauchery in honor of Douglas's upcoming nuptials. It isn't long before these four legendary actors are forced to say things about how they have hemorrhoids older than the 20-somethings at these swank nightclubs.

Kevin Kline actually utters the line, "We're gonna party like it's 1959," shortly after confusing Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson for someone from the Jackson 5.

None of this seems terrible, to be sure. That said, none of it really looks all that good, either. Personally, I'd be perfectly happy just watching Kline and Freeman be classy motherfuckers together for 90 minutes. Sign me up. What I'm not so interested in seeing is this geriatric Hangover riff that robs these great actors of all of their many years of hard-earned dignity and grace.

A fairly common way to write off lousy movies is to declare that the actors "sure look like they had fun making the movie." I don't doubt that it was a blast for these guys to get together and fart around in Vegas for a little while and collect an easy paycheck and a nice desert tan, but to call it anything else would be disingenuous.

That said, your mother will probably LOVE Last Vegas. So there's that.

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