Here's a joke to get you in the spirit of St. Patty's Day:

Two Irishmen, Pat and Murphy, saw a sign saying "Tree fellers" wanted.
Murphy said to Pat, "If only Seamus had been with us, we'd have got that job."

Now that you've had a good chuckle, read on for the lowdown about where to get your Irish on in the South Sound.

Friday, March 14

Piping Duo opens the Celtic Festival 2014 at The Harp & Shamrock, 3-5 p.m., 2704 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.5012. Head to neighboring North End Tavern after for Irish beers.

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Whiskey Syndicate, Ben Union and DJ Triple-Nine while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

Saturday, March 15

It's true what Doyle's Public House in Tacoma proclaims, "Saturday, March 15, is Working Person's St. Patrick's Day." For the special occasion, Doyle's will bring in free live music with The Rusty Cleavers and Ethan Tucker Band and Irish-themed menu specials like the classic corned beef and hash. 8 p.m., no cover, Doyle's Public House, 208 St. Helen's Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.272.7468

The Celtic Festival 2014 continues with Highland piper John Vance at 10 a.m. and Mooncoyne at noon, The Harp & Shamrock, 2704 N. Proctor, Tacoma, 253.752.5012.

The Pierce County Firefighters Pipes and Drums band will be roaming Tacoma on some sort of St. Paddy's Day Pub Crawl. You've been warned.

Pre Patty's Punk Party w/ Shake It Off, Regional Faction, Offtrack and Psycho 78, 8 p.m. no cover, O'Malley's Irish Pub, 2403 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.9403

St. Patty's Party w/The Funk Agency and AKA and The Heart Hurt Goods, 9 p.m., $3, McCoy's Tavern, 418 Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.352.0696

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Flogging Molly cover band Groove Colony and Grinder while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

Sunday, March 16

The Celtic Festival 2014 continues with Magical Strings, 2-4 p.m. at The Harp & Shamrock.

Traditional Irish group Caladh Nua's will play a wide selection of instruments, such as banjo, fiddle, guitar, bodhran, tin whistle and button accordion. 7:30 p.m., $19-$49, Rialto Theater, 301 N. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253.591.5894

Monday, March 17

And for those of you who don't work normal hours (I'm looking at you service-industry, college students and artists with your own hours), on actual St. Patrick's Day, we have parties for you, too.

Doyle's Public House opens the doors at 6 a.m. and the party won't stop until 1:59 a.m. The music lineup includes The Missionary Position, Staxx Brothers, Science and Stephanie Anne Johnson. If you're worried about standing in line, come in and get the 2014 St. Patrick's Day shirt. It takes care of the door charge and there is no waiting in line while you are wearing it. Pro tip: Ask for Tuesday off.

The Celtic Festival 2014 ends with Irish dancers Scoil Rince Slieveloughane at 1 p.m. and Highland piper Jack Montgomery at 3 p.m. at The Harp & Shamrock.

TK Irish Pub and Eatery hosts Folsom Prism and Just Dirt while you munch on shepherd's pie, bangers and mash, corned beef and soda bread, 8 p.m., 109 S. Meridian, Puyallup, 253.604.4791.

The Hub at Gig Harbor Airport will be throwing a bash featuring games, contests, beer, booze and Irish food, 6 p.m., 1208 26th Ave. NW, Gig Harbor, 253.853.1585.

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill will be throwing a ShamRock & Roll St. Pat's Party, 6 p.m., 535 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.272.5004.

At The Brotherhood Lounge in Olympia, DJ Slimrock will spin soul, funk and more. And as in years past, there might be a surprise visit from bagpipers as well. Jameson's Irish Whiskey and Guinness specials. 9 p.m., no cover, The Brotherhood Lounge, 119 Capitol Way, Olympia, 360. 352.4153

And at O' Blarney's Irish Pub, there will be Irish dancing and singing and an Irish-themed dinner menu. 9 p.m., $5, O'Blarney's, 4411, Martin Way, Olympia, 360.459.8084

OK, time to add to the list. What's missing?