ADAM: Well, Nicky, I think it's fair to say that our visit to Jazzbones was an unequivocal failure. Turns out there's learning curve to this whole "macking on ladies" business. In an effort to crank this thing up a notch, we decided to jump into the deep end of the pool and go to the one place where we were sure to stick out like a pair of painfully awkward sore thumbs: the Encore Boutique Nightclub in downtown Tacoma. We walked in looking like a couple of substitute history teachers, and we were ready to get our flirt on. How did it feel paying a $10 cover charge to be a wallflower on a fog machine and black light dance floor?

NICKY: The cover wasn't exactly a shock, so I didn't mind it. The $9 vodka and Red Bull did grab me a bit. After we obtained our drinks, we attempted to find a comfortable spot to sit, while still giving us a good view of the joint. Adam picked out a prime spot upstairs; unfortunately it also just happened to be Sabrina's VIP section. With that, we retreated to a spot we knew well to devise a new plan: the bar. It was around this time we began to notice how empty it was. Had we arrived too early? What were your first impressions, Adam?

ADAM: My first impression was that this club must have gone nuts at the velvet rope depot. Every nook and cranny was cordoned off, complete with buff dudes in suits to glare at us. Sabrina's VIP lounge was safe from our polite presence. Right inside the door, there were two people on a couch aggressively making out, so at least somebody was getting lucky that night. Oh, and thanks for that vodka and Red Bull, Nicky. We were doing our best to hyphy, so that jolt was appreciated. As for being too early, we did arrive right on time, just after 10 p.m., which is when they open. Is that not the way this works? Anyway, right around the time a chopped and screwed version of "Royals" came on, people were filling up the dance floor. What do you think our chances of meeting a couple nice ladies were?

NICKY: I wasn't so sure of our chances of meeting ladies in general, let alone "nice" ones. If memory serves correct, about the time Lorde came on was probably the same time the lights went in to full "Flashy-Japanamation" mode. At that moment, I was less concerned with pretty girls twerkin' and more worried about not becoming ill. Maybe this is a good time to mention I suffer from the ol' PTSD, and flashing lights, crowds off strangers and loud music can put me in a less than comfortable state. There was one thing that helped me keep my mind off the visually intrusive strobe light: Mr. Vesty. That kid had moves. While Adam was in the little boys room, I tried to take tips from Vesty. He was there before we arrived, already on the dance floor. It was now about 45 mins later and he was dancing with two girls. Adam returned from the lavatory and we discussed talking to some ladies in the different VIP sections. But which one would we choose? Adam, what was your choice?

ADAM: I wanted to talk to what was clearly a bachelorette party across the dance floor from us, partitioned by a velvet rope. However, the bouncer we talked to (who also apparently works for Microsoft?) seemed to think that might not be the best idea - although, getting thrown out of Encore might have been the best way for this thing to wrap up. Instead, we ended up getting our picture taken with a remarkably forgiving girl. One of our friends recently proposed the idea that we're not so much wingman-ing each other as we are cockblocking each other. She might have a point. Encore proved to be unsuccessful, but I feel like we're getting closer. When we hit 502 Downtown, next time, I'm just gonna go ahead and predict we'll be bringing mad skills. Or, you know, not.