Spring is in the air, bitches. You know what that means.

Spring Break!

While it's been a long, long, long time since I've watched any real MTV, I can almost guarantee readers that I know exactly what the channel's programming is going to consist of for close to the next month. It'll be the good stuff: girls in tiny bikinis, guys sweating testosterone, beer, and debauchery - otherwise known as the American institution of Spring Break.

If there's one thing college kids need, you know, it's a break. Partying on campus and the redundancy of keg stands in your own neighborhood just take a toll.  These kids deserve it.

And lucky for you, not rich enough to travel to Florida, too old for college, or just man enough to admit you'd rather watch the whole thing on television, MTV will probably have you covered.  It's events like this that television was created for.