Celebrating their grand opening in Tacoma last night, Hustler Hollywood stopped by downtown Tacoma's Varsity Grill for a little publicity. Hustler model Memphis Monroe and several Hustler Honeys grinded outside the sports bar in front of flashing cameras before stepping inside for multiple uplifting poses with the crowd (rimshot!).

Inside the packed house of 20-somethings I noticed almost every guy go into "stripper stare."  This is where the guy does whatever he can to avoid looking directly at that most feminine of anatomic landmarks. He'll gaze dreamily into the stripper's eyes, comment on her shoes or make childish comments to his friends, but he won't look down, lest he appear to be a pervert. Beads of sweat will break out on his forehead, and his face will contort with the effort. At the Varsity, one guy sitting across from me on the sofa smiled, tried desperately to appear sincere, leered and licked his lips simultaneously â€" all while facing the impossibly long legs of one of the girls. His conflicting emotions seemed on the verge of inducing a seizure.

Funny, the media room screening the hilarious "Old School" was empty.

Afterward, I headed to the Monsoon Room where owner Laura Malone was tending garden on her bar.  She cared for multiple sage plants as the herb grabbed the staring role in last night specials.  I found the Crown, soda and sage served in a tall, thin glass to be smarter than the Hustler Honeys.  The Crown completely disappeared into the sage potion.  And I disappeared into the reggae/Latin/Lounge music swirling overhead.

Oh, my head today. ... â€" Brad Allen