At last, ye wizards, witches and hapless muggles: The blessed day is nigh. No, it’s not Walpurgisnacht again; thanks to the Tacoma Public Library, wizard rock concerts are the new Sabbats.

The Main Library will host The Parselmouths, Seattle youngsters Kristina Horner and Brittany Vahlberg who took the name for the wizards who can speak the language of snakes and rock in the name of the Slytherin girls of Hogwarts, Friday as they unleash songs from their new album, Sssss.

It will be Potter-rific. 

I have sunk to my new low. â€" Suzy Stump

[Tacoma Public Library, Friday, June 15, 7 p.m., all ages, no cover, 1102 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.591.5666]

Jason Van Hoose enjoys a beer at the bar of the Royal, a 70s-type lounge in downtown Olympia. Photography by J.M. Simpson

Bocce Bar?

Yep! But so much more!

Olympia’s The Royal opened last weekend, as noted by the Olympian.

While bocce is cool and all, I think for me the draw to the place has everything to do with features Jennyrose Wright discussed with me. Wright owns Olympia’s room 30, a very groovy place to browse and buy.  And now, along with her husband, Josh Brown, and the principal owner, Hezekiah Pugh (“Ky,”) she also plays a part in ownership of the Royal.

What Wright told me about last week as I was in town shopping for a groovy baby gift (and more!) was that the Royal is poised to be a sort of house party where you don’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning, and where you can get drinks like the Fat Elvis and the Farrah Fawcett.

The lounge is a comfortable, easygoing bar with heart, where collaboration and a lot of hard work have created a space filled with repurposed furniture and elements that came together with the help of Habitat for Humanity and Olympia Salvage.

Maybe keeping construction costs down is how they can keep drink costs no higher than other places in town, not to mention offering free bocce and events.

Sounds like I have a reason to go south to have fun! â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

Hear ye, hear ye!

Cans, the latest joint to join the ranks of downtown Tacoma's nightlife scene, will officially open at 9 p.m. on June 19 at 100 S. 9th St. in the former Taboo location.

They've already been pimping themselves out by dubbing the establishment as Tacoma's finest dive. They'll be serving up canned beer only, 20-some kinds, and booze, too.

Your very own Natasha has already snuck in for a tour, but now that we're the coolest kids on the block because we've broken this news about their opening, you'll just have to wait until Thursday's edition of the paper to find out what I think of the joint, and all of the fun that I'm sure will be had there.

I just crushed a beer can on my head. â€" Natasha

Thursday’s Night on the Town had me and the wee one stopping off to listen to Deborah Page and Paul Uhl at Sanford & Son, ‘pon the recommendations made by trusted advisors Dave and Gretchen (themselves, Sanford merchants.)

I thought I’d just “nip in real quick,” and ended up staying ‘til the lights went out.

Thing was, Deborah’s got an amazing voice (her Spanish songs actually got two bodies on the floor in an impressive show of footmanship) which, along with Paul’s moody guitar and her acoustic guitar, made for an intriguingly warm, inviting vibe.

Together, they sound like the kind of atmosphere you’d expect on Anderson Island: a little bit homey, a little bit wistful, a little bit wild, a little bit natural, and a whole lotta’ lovely.  Apropos, since they both met on the island, and now call that their place to “recharge.”

While Deborah’s voice arrested me, it was the overall feeling in the middle floor that kept me there; the evening was a sort of “we survived the fire” celebration combined with the Night on the Town, combined with a celebration of Cindy Sorrell’s graduation from The Evergreen State College (Sorrell runs Sorella’s, with all sorts of North African cultural grooviness).

There was laughter and there were open doors all around (occasionally, the Middle Floor Merchants are a sparsely populated lot, but not this night).

I had some purchasing and future-purchase-planning fun, and  the wee one went home delighted with her “Avenging Unicorn” from Mondo Bizarro â€" at first, I hesitated buying my 5 year old a play set containing an impaling mythical creature, but seeing the mime on the end of the unicorn’s skewer, I had to give in, strictly because my laughter obscured my judgment.

And so it was, that this morning the sweet, innocent child was singing her own music.  Asked about the evening, and her high points in it, wee one said she liked seeing Miss Gretchen and Mr Bennett and calling them both “grandpa”.  She added that she also loved the music, especially “the lady singing,” saying, “when I grow up, I want to have a voice like her.”

Hopefully, the kid’ll write some new music by then, as this morning’s “Ode to having your guts poked out of you by a Unicorn” might be a little hard for the masses to take. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

Friday night’s Museum of Glass Night Blow event brought a huge crowd to the museum.  This was a great thing for the museum, though there was some grumbling in the resultant lines for tickets, drinks, food, and to get into the cone to view Stephen Rolfe Powell’s impressive team leadership and artwork execution. Watching the final moments of the making of the piece was truly breathtaking, and speaking with Powell I was impressed, too, with his laid back manner and southern charm.

More fun, to see the faces of Daniel Blue, Laura Malone, DJ Broam, spinning classic '70s lounge (hey, was that the theme for 2001 I heard?) DJ Lulu Spice, sweet pea, Chiara, Gretchen, Cheryl, Pete, Denise and Michelle (whose Tempest Lounge signature cocktail truly was divine!), and all manner of other friends and familiar faces gathered with a diverse group of art lovers and MOG supporters.

And then there was the best of times, and the worst of times: my culture babe friend warned me about karaoke, how you think you know a song until you get to the mike and blank out. 

Meh, I said, I laugh in the face of danger; then I threw back a shot of Patron.

So there was me feeling no pain. I selected a song I thought the Significant One might appreciate, especially given my state, “Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw.”

I apologize profusely for the crimes against nature I committed Friday night, with my caterwauling.

I don’t apologize for what happened next: culture babe, her husband, the Significant One and I headed off to Masa, to see what the Salsa party would entail.  Wisely avoiding the hard stuff, I stuck to Coronas, and had a blast watching the dancers as they showed their stuff.

The music proved just as intoxicating as the Patron I’d earlier consumed, and culture babe and I got out there and shimmied a bit, which even enticed the significant one to join us â€" shocking, that, since he’s even more shake-it aversive than I am.

Good times must end, and since the Sig One had a date at the KeyArena pick up his Master’s Degree in the morning, we called it a night.

Good glass, good friends, good tunes, good times. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

All of you sweet little readers know that I’m an advocate for public safety when it comes to drinking and you should never, ever drive drunk.

Accordingly, I’ve always been an avid cab rider and fan.

But if I had a hurkin megaphone for all of Tacoma to hear, after last night I would yell the following at the top of my lungs:

CAB SERVICE IN TACOMA FUCKING BLOWS!

Luckily, I’ve been able to get to the bottom of why it sucks so royally.

Please don’t hate the independent contractor drivers. They’re really not the issue.
The problem is the dispatchers, several of whom don’t have the first clue about customer service.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been hung up on, cussed at and disrespected by these dispatchers just for trying to get clarification on an estimated time of arrival. When I’ve called back to express my concerns about the way I was treated, I’ve been verbally abused again. Great. All the while, my cab hasn’t gotten there any faster, and I’ve been left waiting outside of a bar as late as 3:30 a.m. Ridiculous.

Sure, you often have to wait because the drivers are so busy and the geography they cover is wide, but in one instance where I waited forever, I verified via my cab driver that my request wasn’t dispatched until an hour and a half after I placed my call.

WTF?

As for last night, I was at Masa.

The dispatcher asked me for the address, and I said I didn’t know, but I quickly verified that I was on Pine and Sixth Ave. The dispatcher rudely repeated that she needed an address, so I asked her to hang on a quick second, and she hung up on me.

I called back with the address and told the person that I didn’t appreciate being hung up on. She berated me for not knowing the address, so I said, “OK, will you please have someone pick me up at 2811 Sixth Avenue. Now I’m going to hang up on you.”

At the same time, my friend was calling for a cab for us through his own measures, and the dispatcher said, “Are you in any way affiliated with a woman named Natasha?” He said yes. She said, “We’re not going to make time to pick up people like her,” and she hung up on him.

Dear Dispatcher: Isn’t it embarrassing when you find out that “people like her” are hipster reporters with all eyes on this paper? Boy oh boy did you blow it.

Now I’m forced to resort to something I never wanted to do: play favorites amongst all of the cab drivers that I love so dearly. They’ve all given me their business cards, and I’m going to bypass the dispatchers and call them directly. I’m sure the service will be much better that way. You should consider doing the same.

But the bottom line is that with the way Tacoma’s nightlife is rapidly developing, our cab service here in Tacoma HAS to step up, add cabs to their fleet, and improve their dispatch service.
As a matter of fact, at least two of my bar-owner friends are seriously considering creating their own shuttle service between bars in response to the lack of adequate cab service. Hopefully the owners of Tacoma Yellow Cab, the fleet that has the monopoly on cab service in Tacoma, will realize that this would cut into i profits and make some changes.

I highly encourage you all to call Wilma, the director of operations for Tacoma Yellow Cab. She’s a wonderful, helpful person, and this company obviously needs to hear your feedback if it’s ever going to improve. She works 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and can be reached at (253) 472-3303.

TAXIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!! â€" Natasha

The Weekly Volcano is constantly seeking new and more meaningful excuses for public intoxication. June 26, get ready to party for a cause, in case you also need an excuse.

After Love Tacoma received massive love in the form of 130 20-to-30-somethings drinking in the name on Tacoma at the Pacific Grill June 12, the brain trust behind the social event will throw Love Tacoma 2.0 Tuesday, June 26,  in the form of The Swiss Kiss.

Yup, The Swiss hosts this one. 

This second group hug will be an opportunity for even more people to join in on the free fun, to mix and mingle and have a blast inside one of Tacoma’s huge staple establishments with multiple play rooms, in a gorgeous historic building that’s complete with Dale Chihuly glass and local art.

Love Tacomans will throw love messages toward Swiss bartenders Nobby, Monkey, Slick and crew and receive love in the form of:

• The Love Bite â€" Tarantula tequila and Red Bull;
• Sweet and Sassy â€" A Long Island with watermelon pucker and lemonade;
• I Love T-Town â€" Raspberry vodka, Chambord, sweet and sour and pineapple.

The Weekly Volcano is loving Love Tacoma’s love fest. â€" Suzy Stump

[The Swiss, Tuesday, June 26, 5:30 p.m.]

Whoever says Dorkbot consists solely of computer-science freaks and geeks who can mentally compute the velocity of their own pee is a big fat liar. Believe it or not, they also have artistic talents as you will see tonight at Dorkbot #4.

They?

• Weird Science Salon Founder and mad professor emeritus William J. Beaty demonstrates his Crooke's cathode ray tube, and knowing Bill, other possible surprises as well.
• SolarRichard will bring a working model of the LEDs he proposes to put on the Tacoma Narrows bridge, and will explain how the solar "Ecotricity" will power them.

There will also be an open dork after the presentations where anyone can take the floor for about 10 minutes to dork out on science stuff.

[Club SOTA, Tuesday, June 19, 7 p.m., no cover, 1117 Broadway, Tacoma]

The world is a shitty place some times.

Scratch that. Most of the time.

I recently learned through the grapevine that Top Heavy Crush drummer Geoff Reading has been diagnosed with cancer. I could list the bevy of influential northwest bands Reading has played with, but all you really need to know is he’s a top-notch individual and a truly nice guy.

This Saturday, June 23, there’s a benefit for Reading at El Corazon in Seattle. New American Shame, Redneck Girlfriend, Alien Crime Syndicate, Zeke, The Jet City Fix, Sammy Barret and others will all be playing in support.

More info can be found at www.myspace.com/helpgeoffout.

If at all possible, make it to this show. If you can’t, make a donation at the Web site.  â€" Matt Driscoll