You pigged out, didn’t you? First the turkey, then the stuffing, and of course the cranberry sauce . . . and who could resist the sweet potatoes with the little marshmallows? Now look at you, sitting on the couch with your pants unbuttoned, swatting helplessly at the bottle of Tums on the table.

"What do you get when you guzzle down sweets, eating as much as an elephant eats? What are you at, getting terribly fat? What do you think will come â€" of â€" that? I don’t like the look of it. Oompa loompa doompety da."  We’ve got a good suggestion for you.

Burp your way over to The Monsoon Room tonight at 8 p.m. for spoken word by Justin Hosea, Lonesome Shack Blues with Ben Todd and DJ Broam spinning behind two turntables. â€" Suzy Stump.

This is what we like to drink there.