While Broadway, the hub of theatrical experiences in Tacoma, can be a great place to catch a show â€" or even buy tickets as a great gift idea â€" there’s more here than just theaters.  Shopping in the area is diverse and fun with long-standing and hidden treasures awaiting shoppers. Check out my story here. â€" Jessica Corey-Butler

THE CONCERT
Handel’s “Messiah”
So the tree and the fairy lights are up, you have enough booze and unhealthy snacks to sink the Titanic, and your television is about to explode in a flurry of consumerism and romantic schmaltz. But there’s something missing. That’s right, folks: it just wouldn’t be a happy holiday without some singing about God. And for that, there’s no beating Handel’s “Messiah,” a piece for choir, orchestra and soloists that has delighted audiences worldwide for more than 250 years. As 18th-century music historian Charles Burney once said, “”Messiah” has fed the hungry and clothed the naked, fostered the orphan, and enriched succeeding managers of Oratories more than any single musical production in this or any other country.” We’re not totally sure what that means, so check it out yourself at the Charles Borromeo Church when the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra presents their version. â€" Suzy Stump

[Charles Borromeo Church, 7:30 p.m., $22-$75, 7112 S. 12th St., Tacoma, 253.272.7264]

MORE CLASSICAL: Grab some culture today.

RAPCORE
hed(pe)
For the second time this year, tonight, rapcore band hed(pe) will play Tacoma. Considering I didn’t realize hed(pe) still existed until the first time they played T-Town back in May, their second show in Tacoma isn’t quite as surprising. However, it’s close. If you had asked me a year ago what the chances were that hed(pe), known best for their 2000 album Broke and the single “Bartender,” would play Tacoma twice in seven months, I would have told you rain closing I-5 was more likely. â€" Matt Driscoll

[Club Vertigo, with Insolence, the Outfit and Big B, 7 p.m., $15, 5240 So. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, www.theclubvertigo.com]

JAZZ FUSION
James Whiton & the Downtown Apostles
Whiton is a jazz bassist for the 21st century whose tones and methods are unusual, surprising and original.  Not one to be confined by the rules, he is experimental and often uses distortion and a wah wah effect in the same manor that Flava Flav played Charo. But as fellow Weekly Volcano scribe Paul Schrag points out, Whiton’s right hand slapping technique is flawless and merges with his sense of music to create an unrivaled sound. â€" Tony Engelhart

[Jazzbones, with Trolls Cottage and The Schematics, 8:30 p.m., all ages, $8-$10., 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

As any smart restaurant establishment should be doing, Chris Trashcan of The Red Hot was anticipating my arrival.

Well, at least for me to arrive an take pics of his toilet for Toilet Tales.

He hung up massive amounts of unique paraphernalia in the restroom which included large tin beer signs, pictures, and a huge felt pennant.  Somehow, within days of it being displayed, the new toilet items disappeared.  Patrons of The Red Hot had actually stolen the decorations, right under Trashcan's nose.

As part of the Tacoma Beer Society, and as Steph DeRosa The Toilet Aficionado, I urge whoever did this to please return the items.  Have a friend do it for you if you are too ashamed, I promise there will be no questions asked.  There will be a reward on my behalf.

In the meantime, The Red Hot has substituted new restroom decor for two new beers.  "Old Chub" Scottish Ale (8 percent alcohol!) and "Dales Pale Ale" (friggen delicious!), both of Oskar Blues Brewery in Lyons, Colo.

These beers will be freshly lactated daily by Jen RedHot herself. â€" Steph DeRosa

Christmas Shmipmas!  Rosewood Café has hands down the best homemade non-Christmas cookies I’ve ever had. Every time I go there I gaze at the enormous oatmeal chocolate chip cookie through the glass counter.

I finally had a reason to buy it. And oh Holy Night was it a doozy.  It was crisp on the outside, but chewy on the inside.  Not just a regular “inside” either, it was a “thick inside.”  And not an undercooked-chewy like some chewy cookies can be.  It was cooked through and through.  It melted in my mouth, fell apart in my hands, and made my mouth so very happy.

They make them right there at the Rosewood, and it’s not a mix.  They actually measure out, and mix the oatmeal, sugar, eggs, etc.  How often do the make them?  Whenever they run out, which is pretty much every other day.

The best part is when they told me I could have a “Cowgirl” or “Cowboy” cookie.  What?  Yeah, they call it a Cowboy cookie because it has nuts and the Cowgirl doesn’t. 

There’s no clever closing line that can top that last statement right there, so I’ll just leave it at that.  Yee-Haw. â€" Steph DeRosa

MORE COOKIES: See what's already in our cookie jar.

HOLIDAYS
Christmas Revels
Nothing says “the holidays are here” like a romping, roaring evening of pagan-inspired celebration. A seasonal tradition since 1992, the Christmas Revels returns to the Rialto Theater with performances of music, dance, and other entertainment in honor of the original Christmas, the winter solstice. This year, the Puget Sound Revels go Eastern Europe with a retelling of the Russian folk tale, “The Fool of the World and the Flying Ship,” through music, song and dance. Added bonus: Portland’s sultry European Gypsy troupe Vagabond Opera and the Seattle Brass Ensemble will be in the house. Normal audience and performer roles may blur at the Revels, so make sure to bring your best voice. â€" Suzy Stump

[Rialto Theater, 2 and 7:30 p.m., $9-$25.50, 310 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253. 591. 5894]

JAZZ
Rich Wetzel’s Groovin’ Higher Jazz Orchestra
Wetzel and his Groovin’ Higher Jazz Orchestra bring their annual jazzy holiday to Jazzbones. The evening will include swinging renditions of Christmas classics arranged by Los Angeles’s Tom Kubis, who has written music for many Disney productions. In addition, special guest soloists from the Tacoma Community College jazz choir will add an extra boost to the already jumpin’ sounds of Wetzel’s big band. Singer Carol Kapel will provide holiday cheer as she sits in for a couple of festive numbers. Reservations are strongly recommended. â€" Tony Engelhart

[Jazzbones, 5-7 p.m., all ages, $10, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

HILLBILLY STOMP
Hillstomp
These Oregonians slot themselves as punk/blues/bluegrass on their MySpace page â€" an interesting combination to say the least. While Hillstomp might have shades of bluegrass and punk intermingled with the blues, I’d categorize them as “hillbilly stomp” as the duos’ sound is closer to the likes of RL Burnside or T-Model Ford with a bevy of acoustic slide guitar work over amplified mikes and homemade percussion. â€" TE

[4th Ave Tavern, with Brackish Water Band, 8 p.m., 210 E. Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.786.1444]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

Harder than Pappi Swarner hits the slopes of Whistler or harder than Ike ever pistol-whipped Tina, Tacoma’s first ever Santarchy celebration bitch-slapped Tacoma Friday night. Festivities got under way at the Swiss around 6 p.m., and judging by the way things started, the bowl-full-of-jelly fun only escalated from there.

Santarchy, as I learned thanks to a very informative article in this week’s Weekly Volcano by Robert Dobbs, is a celebration rooted around miscreants in Kris Kringle suits consuming copious amounts of booze. Santarchy began in San Francisco nearly 20 years ago, and has since invaded towns and cities across our great country. In fact, Dobbs referred to Santarchy as a “pan-continental holiday,” so Mexico and Canada may well be involved now too.

I arrived at the Swiss at 6 p.m. sharp, when the event was scheduled to start, ordered a vodka and cran and tried to locate myself close to the action. The problem was there was no action to be had, at least in the beginning. There were a mere three Santas in attendance, and for all I knew they were either just getting off of work at the mall or on their way there. Very few signs of Santarchy were visible.

I stepped outside for a cigarette hoping things would improve. It was from outside I saw my first carload of Santas arrive. The Santas in question came in a white, ’90s Mazda with at least 175,000 miles on it. They emerged sporting cockeyed beards and cigarettes. A few of the Santas repositioned their guts.

Back inside, the number of Santas had seemingly quadrupled. What had been three or four Santas was now 15 or 20. A reindeer and an elf were now in the mix too. Close to the stage, in a strangely intimidating pack, the Santas began to mingle and drink. An Elvis Santa greeted a disco Santa, and so on.

It was then that Santa Mercenary approached, and offered me a Hershey Kiss. I gladly accepted. Who the hell is Santa Mercenary, you ask?

A mix between Santa and a female pirate.

Duh.

As six o’clock grew into seven, the drinking only intensified.

“Where does one find a Santa suit?” I posed to a group of particularly festive Santas.

“It’s pretty fucking hard, man. Let me tell you,” said one of them, his suit only slightly better than the Santa wearing red trash bags.

“The party store! Fifteen bucks, dude!” interjected another, obviously more of a professional.

I moved on, and found a loner Santa drinking with a purpose. I learned the group would soon be leaving, heading to the next stop on their yuletide bar crawl, 21 Commerce. I tried to picture all these Santas with martinis. It wasn’t easy.

Time was running out. I knew the Santas would soon be gone, and I had yet to find the “Head Santa.” The Head Santa was in charge, or so I had been told. Without talking to Head Santa I had nothing. Luckily, she found me. After confirming the group would, in fact, soon be off to 21 Commerce for their second stop, I asked what the meaning of all this madness was. Was it to protest Christmas? Was it to spread holiday cheer? Was it to celebrate the birth of teeny tiny baby Jesus?

“It’s just about a bunch of Santas getting drunk! That’s it! There’s no catch!”

And so it seemed.

I pulled back to a stool away from the stage and realized Santas now dominated the entire second room of the Swiss. One leaned against the wall next to me.

“So, how many beers does it take to get Santa loaded?” I asked

“Right now, four.”

“But it’s early,” I pointed out.

“And it’s going to get late!”

With that, the cheer began. “Ho Ho Ho, Santa’s got to go. Ho Ho Ho, Santa’s got to go.”

I watched the mob of red suited alcoholics file through the door. As fast as they’d appeared, they were gone. What happened at 21 Commerce, or anywhere else along the way, I can only speculate. However, it’s safe to assume that at least one Santa is throwing up tonight, a couple Santas are getting laid, and more Santas than you can shake a stick at will wake up tomorrow with a nasty hangover. For now, Santarchy ’07 is in the books. â€" Matt Driscoll

Photography By Kelly Driscoll

Jimmy Mac’s Roadhouse

I’ll admit it; I don’t live in the Tacoma city limits.  I live in what is considered Northeast Tacoma, unincorporated Pierce County.  Down the street they’ve opened a brand spankin’ new strip shopping center.  There’s 99 Bottles, WineStyles, The Rock, they have it all.  They also have a Jimmy Mac’s Roadhouse.  This place kicks any Houston Texan ass.  I’m from Texas (born, raised, and college fed), and this joint is just like eating at an icehouse back home.

I wasn’t going to let this whole “cookie” thing pass me by without giving the Roadhouse a true tip of the hat.

OK, so they don’t have a “cookie” per se, but leave it to me to find a way to manipulate the situation.  What they DO have is a “Cookie Sundae.”  A-HA!  This involves a scoop of ice cream with four quadrants of decadent Texan chocolate chip cookies on top.  The cookies are homemade from fresh ingredients, and they are friggen’ to die for.  They’re perfectly crispy on the outside, and chewy-done on the inside.  They're full of flavor, chocolate chips, leather, and hot cowboys.  To top it off they roll the damned things in sugar before baking. 

Lemmie just say that nothing beats a guy with a Texan accent than a guy with a Texan
accent baking me some chocolate chip cookies.  Now THAT’S a saddle I’ll mount. â€" Steph DeRosa

It’s Saturday, meaning there are a ton of great shows to choose from tonight. The Alligators are playing Club Impact. The Atomic Outlaws are playing Club Vertigo. Lozen is playing Le Voyeur. And Violence Unfolds is playing Hell’s Kitchen. If you can’t find something to enjoy tonight, chances are you don’t enjoy much. One show you may not have heard about is at Club Paradise at the Paradise Bowl. To tell you the truth, Bobble Tiki had no idea this place existed until he saw the listing in the Volcano. The Brian Green Band will play Club Paradise tonight, and according to www.briangreen.us, “Unlike most bands the BGB can either perform a night of rock, a night of country, or a night of musical variety.” Well, hot damn! Variety is the spice of life. If you find yourself at Paradise Bowl, drop in on Brian Green and his band. â€" Bobble Tiki