HOLIDAYS
Christmas Revels
Nothing says “the holidays are here” like a romping, roaring evening of pagan-inspired celebration. A seasonal tradition since 1992, the Christmas Revels returns to the Rialto Theater with performances of music, dance, and other entertainment in honor of the original Christmas, the winter solstice. This year, the Puget Sound Revels go Eastern Europe with a retelling of the Russian folk tale, “The Fool of the World and the Flying Ship,” through music, song and dance. Added bonus: Portland’s sultry European Gypsy troupe Vagabond Opera and the Seattle Brass Ensemble will be in the house. Normal audience and performer roles may blur at the Revels, so make sure to bring your best voice. â€" Suzy Stump

[Rialto Theater, 1 and 5:30 p.m., $9-$25.50, 310 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253. 591. 5894]

JAZZ
Maia Santell and House Blend
Maia Santell and House Blend perform their traditional holiday jazz and blues show at Jazzbones tonight. They play an upbeat brand of R&B with a little jump blues and big band jazz thrown in for a party second to none. Santell has been called the Northwest’s queen of swing for her high-energy shows and boisterous vocals. Yet, unlike so many female singers, she is not a screamer but rather possesses exceptional vocal control that is rich and warm. â€" Tony Engelhart

[Jazzbones, with Beth McBride, 7-11 p.m., all ages, $8-$10, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.369.9169]

ROCK
Steve E Nix and the Cute Lepers
If Steve E Nix sounds familiar, it’s not because your closet Fleetwood Mac fetish is rearing its ugly head. Nix isn’t that Nicks, he’s a dude, for one, and a key member of the successful Northwest pop/punk band the Briefs. If you know anything about the Briefs, you know any band Nix plays a part in is destined to be entertaining. With one record “in the can,” Steve E Nix and the Cute Lepers, while relatively new to the scene, are quickly becoming a force to reckon with. â€" Matt Driscoll

[Hell’s Kitchen, 5 p.m., all ages, $7, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

THE DAILY WORD
Learn it, use it, spell it

Revenant \REV-uh-nuhnt\, noun:
One who returns after death (as a ghost) or after a long absence.

USAGE EXAMPLE: When Bobble Tiki dies, which according to the line in Vegas could happen fairly soon, he hopes to return to this earth as a revenant, sneaking pints of beer and shots of booze from all his favorite Tacoma bars. Bobble Tiki figures it’s only fitting.

THE MORNING NEWS

PIERCE COUNTY: Dice game in the back?

LEWIS COUNTY: Mudslide photo wakes up timber giant.

CANADA: Rogue elf sending filthy letters.

AUSTRALIA: Shark kills swimming kangaroo.

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: If Bobble Tiki was to make a list of pop punk bands from this area he just absolutely adores, the Briefs would be near the top. It’s been an ongoing infatuation of Bobble Tiki’s for some time now, and he doesn’t see it stopping any time soon. Using this fact, Bobble Tiki assumes he’ll get a kick out Steve E Nix and the Cute Lepers when they play an all ages show at Hell’s Kitchen tonight. Nix is one of the main cogs in the Briefs, and judging by the Lepers MySpace page, his other band aint half bad. Even better, at least according to the Volcano’s music listings, the Cute Lepers are scheduled to play at Le Voyeur in Olympia later Sunday night. For those playing at home, that’s two (count ‘em two!) chances to see one hell of a band. Take advantage.

MORE MUSIC: What's on tonight.

THE ARTS: Grab some culture today.

THE FILMS: On local screens today.

BOBBLE TIKI'S THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN
This week Bobble Tiki is focused on comedy, and specifically Jason Stewart’s show coming up at Jazzbones Tuesday, Dec. 18. A well known name around these parts, thanks to a 13-year professional career that has featured heavy doses of the Comedy Underground and Jazzbones Comedy Night, Stewart is one of the funniest individuals Bobble Tiki has ever met. Check out Bobble Tiki's story here.

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Deal with it.

Engine House No. 9

Well last time I had a cookie at Engine House No. 9 it was pretty bad.  I’m a huge fan of cookies, so I go in and give E9 another chance and I order the peanut butter cookie.  My most favorite server, Sunshine, hooked me up.  Except, I think since she was so busy, she accidentally hooked my up with the wrong cookie. I didn’t notice until I got home to write this.

She had given me an oatmeal raisin cookie.  And I cannot thank her enough.  Yummy yummy in my tummy.  The texture is perfect oatmeal, the size is wide and thin, and the done-ness factor is spot on.  Chewy, yet done in the middle.  I cannot stress to you how important this is to me.  I loathe an under done cookie. I feel like I can taste the raw eggs.  It’s just f***ing gross is what it is.

So, yeah, back to what I was saying before I literally almost tossed my cookies:  Engine House No. 9 can brew a great beer, fry some good Texas straws, and bake up a terrific oatmeal raisin cookie.  Perfect.

Now if only they had some hot firefighters bringing me my beer and cookies.  Think I’ll have to have a talk with Sunshine. â€" Steph DeRosa

MORE COOKIES: See what's already in our cookie jar.

Well I’ll start by saying that there is no way in HELL any sort of cookies are going to be served this week at Dinner with DeRosa.  I love ‘em, don’t get me wrong, but my body can’t take it anymore.  I need a break.  I need some salads, some broccoli, something organically nutritious.  I can feel myself getting fatter by the day. 

My first guest for my salad buffet night is Chris Smith.  She’s another reason I feel fat. As I’ve mentioned in a past Toilet Tales, I am a huge fan breakfasts at the Sheraton, oops I mean Murano.  I love, love, love their Benedict Florentine.  I love it so much that we go there a few times a month.  Chris always hooks us up with service to compliment my high maintenance family.  When we order it’s like the “When Harry Met Sally” scene where she modifies the f*** out of everything.  Chris is cool enough to automatically know what we want when we walk in the door.  I would say I feel proud, but I’m actually a tad ashamed.  Nah, not really.

Next is Don Helm.  Bartendeurrrrre Extra-oridairrrre.  (Roll the R’s and throw in a French accent, you’ll like it.)  (Then do it anytime you say a word with an R in it.)  (I’ll bet you start doing it all the time because it’s so fun.)  (OK, I’m done with the parenthesis.)  Anyway, Don is a troublemaker.  I met him when I attended the Master Builder’s Association President’s Ball held at the world-renown Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center last Thursday night.  The reason he’s a troublemaker: One of Mr. DeRosa’s employees was too hung-over to work the next day and had to go home early with a case of white-face.  Mmmmhmmmm, Don, your ass is going to be handed over to my husband when you get here. 

My next victim is Katie, owner of House of Tattoo.  I adore her, she’s my friend, and there’s really no need for me to explain further.  She kicks ass, takes names, and then knits them fingerless mittens.  Here’s a picture of ol’ Katie giving me a Magnolia on my wrist.  What’s really weird is the very next day, my grandma whom the Magnolia represented, passed away.  Yes, she was sick, but she’d been sick for 10 years.  So it really was kinda sudden.  Katie texted me the next day to check on the ink and I told her she killed my grandma.

The most important guest this week is Jaime Kay Newton.  This chick owns the Top of Tacoma Bar, is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.  I can’t wait to hang out with her even more in January, as she is hosting our next Tacoma Beer Society meeting.  What’s really cool is she OFFERED to change up some beers for us.  Not a great stretch for her though, seeing as how she has some really cool and really rare microbrews on tap everyday.  And she blows through the kegs like crazy, so she’s always changing them out to different types.  Just want to throw that little fact out there, particularly to the asshole beer distributor I had the unfortunate experience of talking to the other night.  But I’ll save that story for a future Toilet Tales.

Ah, and yes, then there’s cutie booty Jesse Ray Serles.  I want to put him in my pocket and take him home.  He and his band the Fucking Eagles will definitely have to be at my salad buffet this week.  They’re going to have to warm up anyway for their Dec. 26 27 show at Top of Tacoma Bar. 

Well I’m certainly glad to have my guest list, menu, and bartender figured out.  It should all be mmmmmm mmmm, tasty.   And by tasty I’m talking about both the salad bar and Jesse.

Mangiamo! â€" Steph DeRosa

CLASSICAL
Handel's "Messiah"
A who’s-who of Olympia orchestras and choirs â€" Student Orchestras of Greater Olympia, Masterworks Choral Ensemble, Olympia Chamber Orchestra, Olympia Choral Society, Olympia Symphony Orchestra and Opera Pacifica â€" perform Handel’s glorious masterpiece for you to sing along. â€" Suzy Stump

[Washington Center, 7:30 p.m., free, 512 Washington St., Olympia, 360. 753. 8586]

ROCK
Red Elvises
With an energy that is unsurpassed, this Russian quartet combines the ethnic music of their homeland with good ol’ fashion rock ’n’ roll for a sound that is fun and fresh. Think polka music with a vintage Elvis Presley vibe. Adorned in metallic suits, the band is as fun visually as they are musically. â€" Tony Engelhart

[The Swiss Pub, 8 p.m., $8, 1904 S. Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

MSM's Papa Giki

Last time I was in MSM Grocery II & Deli was eight years ago. I saw insects in their pastry case, so I haven’t been back since.  I hold grossness grudges when it comes to where I dine. But all I hear from my friends is how amazing their sandwiches are, what a great beer selection they have, and that they carry a wide array of Trojans.  So yeah, that means I have to go check it out, right?

They have some cookies off to the side.  They look boring.  My stomach starts hurting as I think of how I have to taste another boring chocolate chip.  Then I see a packaged cookie on the counter.  It’s a Bavarian Dark Chocolate Toasted Almond Golden Raisin Coconut and Flax cookie.  Flax?  100 percent whole grain?  Omega 3?   Fiber?  This thing has to taste like shit, so I buy it.  I was intrigued, alright?  So shut up.

It was G-damned delicious.  I kid you not, the cookie was amazing.  It’s made locally in Tacoma, and apparently he sells the heck out of his stuff online here.

So that’s that.  Get your fiber, flax, grains, chocolate, coconuts, raisins, and almonds all right here in this cookie.  And while you’re at it you can pick up a tall boy and some Trojans. â€" Steph DeRosa

MORE COOKIES: See what's already in our cookie jar.

After small crowds the Tacoma Farmers Market's board of directors suspended its Dome District location for next season.

"The board came to its decision about the Dome District after an intensive review," said Richard Hines, TFM's board president, in a release. "We are grateful to the loyal vendors, shoppers, and sponsors who have supported this market, but the profitability is just not there yet."

So, a grocery store it out of the question I guess. â€" Suzy Stump

The Tacoma Art Museum grabbed a platinum award and an honorable mention for the right side of its brain. 

• PRESS RELEASE: The MarCom Awards, administered and judged by Association of Marketing and Communication Professionals, selected Tacoma Art Museum’s promotional poster for the recent Sparkle Then Fade exhibition for the Platinum Award. The promotional postcard for a free community festival related to the Frida Kahlo: Images of an Icon exhibition received an honorable mention. Both pieces were designed by Tacoma Art Museum’s staff graphic designer, Pei Pei Sung.