We here at the Weekly Volcano sometimes fantasize about the olden days, when robbing a financial institution or gold caring railcar was a possibility. Sometimes we fantasize about going on lavish spending sprees with all our make-believe loot. However, we’re not dim-witted or delusional here at the Weekly Volcano. We’ve watched enough Court TV to know bank robbers almost always get caught. Plus, we hate the idea of being sodomized in prison.
An example of the futility of modern day bank robbery occurred this morning, around 9:15 a.m., when a lone white male robbed the KeyBank in the 3900 block of North 26th Street armed with a semi-automatic handgun. (Note: In the Volcano’s fantasy’s we don’t use guns to rob banks. We’re like MacGyver.) Wearing a mask, he pointed the gun at a KeyBank teller and demanded money. Once he had what he was after, he fled on foot to his vehicle, dropping his pistol along the way. Not long later, the gun, the vehicle, and the suspect were apprehended by police.
The suspect was booked into the Pierce County Jail. â€" Matt Driscoll