MATT DRISCOLL: IS WASTING TIME ON THE INTERNET>>>

Want to see some funny shit? Of course you do. That's why you're on the internet.

MICHAEL SWAN: IN THE RAG TOMORROW >>>

Be sure to check out Numbered Spaces â€" the quality-of-life meter inside the Weekly Volcano tomorrow when it hits the streets.  The meter ran quite positive this week.  Nice job Tacoma!

Here is one of the negative events that didn't make the meter this week:

Work on a massive steel-and-glass sculpture at the Hotel Murano came to a halt last week when engineers discovered the brackets expected to secure the sculpture to the wall didn’t line up with the holes in the building. The brackets will have to be removed and re-welded. No discussion yet about who will pay for the blunder. MINUS 2

BRAD ALLEN: TACOMA REPRESENT >>>

Congratulations to Tacoma's Mono in VCF. Their song "Masha" scored the Song of the Day on NPR's Web site.

BRAD ALLEN: CHECK OUT WHAT'S CALLED HIP-HOP THEATER >>>

The history of hip-hop is littered with odd, counterintuitive, visionary juxtapositions and alliances, and four fresh individuals known as iLL-Literacy is just another example â€" it's a collective composed of Ruby Veridiano-Ching, Adriel Luis, Nico Cary, and Dahlak Brathwaite. This group will bring its distinctive flavor or performance to Tacoma’s Longshoreman’s Hall through spoken word, MCing, and crowd participation.

The University of Washington Tacoma Student Activities crew sponsor this hip-hop theater â€" a brand of performance predicated on bringing everyday issues â€" such as a high school lunch, love triangles, and racist people â€" to the forefront of discussion. The group can keep a crowd on its toes while making them think, laugh, and cry all at once.

Check it out next in T-town Feb. 21.

[Longshoreman’s Hall, Thursday, Feb. 21, 6 p.m., 1710 Market St., Tacoma, 253.692.4684]

ART/MUSIC
SinSational
Equilibrium, the women who brought you the Eyefull and Soiree parties are doing it again â€" creating another lavish party for Tacoma artists and art supporters/appreciators. This time around it’s a scaled-down event featuring fashion, art and music on the day of love.

SinSational will feature two-dimensional pieces from half a dozen local artists. If you prefer live performance art, the Valentine’s Day party won’t disappoint with everything from drag queens to belly dancers to fire dancers. (Of course, the latter will perform outside the venue during the event’s intermission at around 8:30 p.m.) The emcee for the night will be Alex Tapia.

SinSational Valentine’s Day takes place at an undisclosed location. Only those who RSVP will know the venue. So if you want to know, you have to commit to attending and send an e-mail to SinSationalTacoma@gmail.com. â€" Jamie Forsythe

[Sinsational Valentine’s Day, Thursday, Feb. 14, 7 p.m. $10-$14, undisclosed venue]

THE EVENT
Speed Dating
It’s a fast-paced world we live in today, and we don’t seem to have time to do anything anymore from plant watering to floor resurfacing, it all takes time we don’t necessarily have, so we end up giving up the important stuff like meeting the opposite sex because how can you have time to toss your hair and work your smile if you’re always late for your next meeting and your palm pilot doesn’t have space for that in your schedule anyway so you have to make time and the best way to maximize the benefits your pheromones provide is to join in an organized event something like Speed Dating at The Swiss that allows you to meet people in less time than it takes to reheat a frozen chicken pot pie â€" a food you will never have to enjoy alone or at all again if you join in this particular occasion because you’ll finally have a life. Whew.â€" Suzy Stump

[The Swiss, Thursday, Feb. 14, 7 p.m., no cover, 1904 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]

PARTY
Red Hot Valentine
The Red Hot. The place with the perfect name for Valentine’s Day. While the beer bar with hot dogs (or is it a hot dog bar with beer?) may not seem like the most romantic place to take a date, it will be the most unpretentious of Tacoma’s options tonight. Owner Chris Miller believes cheap isn’t a bad thing and is putting on a special theme night in honor of (or possibly in good-natured mockery of) the smoochy, sappy holiday.

First, Adam Sandler’s The Wedding Singer will roll on the big screen for the weekly movie. Yes, you’ll get to see the little old rappin’ granny spit the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” and giggle along when Sandler says, “Julia Gulia” and makes that face.

Better than that, some new menu items will get their turn in the spotlight tonight: hot dogs with bacon (yum), vegetarian bratwurst for those trying to be healthier, and more. A dollar order of nachos and very inexpensive beer make this an easy date on which to say, “Oh, no, I insist” when it comes time to pay the check.

After the free flick is over, get into the groove with classic KISS tunes.

And the best we saved for last: Corina Bakery, the bakery Tacoma has a crush on, is providing miraculously free cupcakes. Oh my. â€" Jennifer Johnson

[The Red Hot, Thursday, February 14, 8 p.m., Free, 21+, 2914 6th Ave., Tacoma 253.779.0229]

CLASSICAL
Eroica Trio
In my ongoing effort to broaden my musical knowledge, I got into classical for about five minutes the mid-’90s. While I did groove to the usual suspects, Beethoven and Mozart, in typical Tony fashion, I dug deeper to include lesser known composers such as Chopin and Schumann even though I couldn’t differentiate between any of them. I hadn’t thought about classical music until now as I just discovered the Eroica Trio and the Tacoma Philharmonic is bringing the three in tonight for a one night stand.   

The three totally hot and classically trained women are bringing the music of classic composers to a whole new generation and making it cool. Erika Nickrenz (piano), Susie Park (violin) and Sara Sant’Ambrogia (cello) are all Julliard alumni with a deep understanding of the mechanics of the music, but more important is the way in which they approach each movement. Formed in 1986, the trio won the Namburg Award in 1991, which earned them a Lincoln Center debut. In 1997, they played Carnegie Hall, after which the threesome was offered a five-record deal with EMI Classics. Their debut featured the music of Maurice Ravel, Benjamin Godard and Gershwin, whereas the follow-up proved to be a bit more traditional. â€" Tony Engelhart

[The Pantages Theatre, Thursday, February 14, 7:30 p.m., $32.50-$62.50, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.272.0809, www.TacomaPhilharmonic.org]

ROCK
Intervision
A few months ago Bobble Tiki received a stuffed manila envelope from the band Intervision, who will be up from Portland to play Masa tonight. Inside was a copy of Intervision’s second record, Shades of Neptune. The envelope also contained a brief bio, describing Intervision as "soul/R&B/Pop-rock," and saying the group combines "elements of soul, rock, jazz, and pop, the quintet is earning lofty comparisons to bands like Steely Dan, Stevie Wonder, and Jamiroquai, yet have created their own intensely unique sound."

Bobble Tiki loves Steely Dan and Jamiroquai. What can he say? â€" Bobble Tiki

[Masa, 8:45 p.m., donations to benefit Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital, 2811 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.254.0560]

MORE MUSIC: In the clubs tonight.

LINK: Sexy dining in the South Sound tonight.

BRAD ALLEN: CONCERT ALERT >>>

Live Nation announced The Police will be touring North American again, this time with Elvis Costello and the Imposters.  The tour will stop at The Gorge on July 12.  Tickets will go on sale Saturday, Feb. 23 at Ticketmaster outlets. Tickets are $236.25, $131.25 and $78.75.

LINK: Live Nation's Police tour page.

BOBBLE TIKI: AMATIVE, INTERVISION, RUSTON COMBUSTION>>>

THE DAILY WORD

Amative \AM-uh-tiv\, adjective:

Pertaining to or disposed to love, especially sexual love; full of love; amorous.

USAGE EXAMPLE: With one last giggle, Roger Clemens tied the last bow and sent of his amative valentine present â€" a huge, bulging box of H.G.H.

THE MORNING NEWS

SEATTLE: Dunkin' vs. Starbucks

TACOMA: Hub of maritime business

WEIRD: Nearly deadly chip

SPORTS: Stump Mitchell

HUSTLER OF CULTURE
You can stand atop the mountain and scream your naked desires to the universe or shed that synapse epilepsy and hug the South Sound today with your fellow man:

MUSIC: Bobble Tiki knows how you roll. He knows it’s Valentine’s Day, and you’ll probably be looking to take your special someone out on the town, and then lure that special someone back to the sack for some especially kinky, leather and choke chain sex. Or maybe Bobble Tiki has you confused for someone else. Either way, tonight’s Intervision show at Masa should be perfect to set the mood. This Portland band is legit, and with Masa’s already swanky vibe the experience should definitely be good enough to get you laid. It is Valentine’s Day, after all.

MORE MUSIC: What’s on tonight
RUSTON COMBUSTION: See the train wreck

THREATS AND PROMISES COLUMN

Audio proof of Tacoma’s emergence, and budding new identity as something other than the Northwest’s favorite Almost Live punch-line, can be found at www.myspace.com/bobsjavajive ">Bob’s Java Jive this Friday, February 15th. www.myspace.com/teamunicornrecords ">Team Unicorn Records will be throwing the party, and they’ve invited musical guests www.myspace.com/murderpartymusic ">Murder Party, www.myspace.com/theredseasharks ">Red Sea Sharks, www.myspace.com/publicstudents ">Wallpaper and www.myspace.com/selecteclectic ">Darren Selector to take over the pot with them. (Not your pot, the coffee pot. As in the Jive. Silly stoner.)

Breakfast with Bobble Tiki runs six days a week now. Deal with it.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: THEATER THURSDAY >>>

Mame
Everybody’s favorite auntie, Mame, will be playing a visit to Seattle's 5th Avenue Theatre as the landmark venue stages a lavish new production of the hilarious musical. Mame tells the story of an eccentric socialite who finds her Bohemian life in Manhattan takes a turn for the more sedate after she is appointed guardian of her orphaned nephew. The original source material, Patrick Dennis’ novel Auntie Mame, was the surprise literary sensation of 1955.

[5th Avenue Theatre, through March 2, $20-$77, 1308 5th Ave., Seattle, 206.625.1900]

Six Women
Six Women with Brain Death or Expiring Minds Want to Know, a show about life according to the stream of thoughts interactions between a gaggle of women, will be ending its run at Capital Playhouse Sunday.

[Capital Playhouse, 7:30 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $21-$33, 612 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.943.2744, www.capitalplayhouse.com]

Blithe Spirit
Tacoma Little Theatre is early in its run of Blithe Spirit, a play by Noel Coward about British writer Charles Condomine, who invites a local medium, Madame Arcati, to his home so he can study her as a research character for his next novel. Little does he know that the spirit speaker has contacted the ghost of his late wife Elvira, who takes up residence in his home. Elvira’s constant presence and attempts to rekindle her relationship with Charles creates problems for his second wife, Ruth.

[Tacoma Little Theatre, through March 2, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $16-$20, 210 N I St., Tacoma, 253.272.2281, www.tacomalittletheatre.com]

SUZY STUMP: NEAT >>>