SUZY STUMP: SATELLITE COFFEE GRAND OPENING >>>

We've all been in line at the café and bemoaned the person ahead of us, who sounds more like a code-speaking spy than a coffee consumer. Perhaps a few of us will even admit to our own momentary lapses of reason, which led us to pronounce such Orwellian words ourselves. Even I will confess to (in my younger days, mind you) spouting such nonsense as "doubletallnonfatvanillalatte." But, if you think about it, annoying as the latte lingo may be, it does sound better than saying, "I'd like two espressos â€" one caffeinated, one decaffeinated â€" poured into an extra-large cup filled with steamed nonfat milk â€" hold the foam â€" made into a hot chocolate, and mixed with vanilla and caramel syrup. And please top that with a dollop of whipped cream."

The brain trust behind Satellite Coffee will chat you up for hours on the science behind making the perfect cup of coffee.  I can’t follow their code-speak.  They are smart. And they know their beans.

If you have yet to visit this tiny, elevated coffee house that opened November 2007 drop by Friday, March 21, during its grand opening party held below at its neighbor Supernova Hair and Tattoo. I guarantee you’ll learn a thing or two, drink delicious Stumptown Coffee and hear live music from Eddie Spaghetti and Rontrose Heathman (Satellite co-owner) of The Supersuckers, and Bob Wayne & The Outlaw Carnies.

We’ll chat this up as the night approaches, in a language you can under stand.

LINK: Previously on Spew.