KEN SWARNER: SPAM THE WONDER MEAT >>>

Taking a break from serious eating, I went on the hunt this week for places that serve Spam (why? I guess it’s a slow news week). I enjoyed connecting with the local Hawaiian restaurants in our area, but I didn’t really like eating the meat in a can. You can check out the piece in the Dish section â€" click here.

Researching the piece, I wondered how the Hormel people (makers of Spam) viewed the whole computer usage of the term. Here’s what I uncovered from their Web site:

You've probably seen, heard or even used the term "spamming" to refer to the act of sending unsolicited commercial email (UCE), or "spam" to refer to the UCE itself. Following is our position on the relationship between UCE and our trademark SPAM.

Use of the term "spam" was adopted as a result of the Monty Python skit in which our SPAM meat product was featured. In this skit, a group of Vikings sang a chorus of "spam, spam, spam . . . " in an increasing crescendo, drowning out other conversation. Hence, the analogy applied because UCE was drowning out normal discourse on the Internet.

We do not object to use of this slang term to describe UCE, although we do object to the use of the word "spam" as a trademark and to the use of our product image in association with that term. Also, if the term is to be used, it should be used in all lower-case letters to distinguish it from our trademark SPAM, which should be used with all uppercase letters.

This slang term, which generically describes UCE, does not affect the strength of our trademark SPAM. In a Federal District Court case involving the famous trademark STAR WARS owned by Lucasfilm Ltd., the Court ruled that the slang term used to refer to the Strategic Defense Initiative did not weaken the trademark and the Court refused to stop its use as a slang term. Other examples of famous trademarks having a different slang meaning include MICKEY MOUSE, to describe something as unsophisticated and CADILLAC, used to denote something as being high quality. It is only when someone attempts to trademark the word "spam" that we object to such use, in order to protect our rights in our famous trademark SPAM. We coined this term in 1937 and it has become a famous trademark. Thus, we don't appreciate it when someone else tries to make money on the goodwill that we created in our trademark or product image, or takes away from the unique and distinctive nature of our famous trademark SPAM.

Position Statement on "Spamming"
We oppose the act of "spamming" or sending UCE. We have never engaged in this practice, although we have been victimized by it. If you have been one of those who has received UCE with a return address using our website address of SPAM.com, it wasn't us. It's easy and commonplace for somebody sending UCE to simply adopt a fake header ID, which disguises the true source of the UCE and makes it appear that it is coming from someone else. If you have or do receive UCE with this header ID, please understand that it didn't come from us.

Other "spam" Websites
This is the one and only official SPAM Website, brought to you by the makers of the SPAM Family of products. All of the others have been created by somebody else. We are not associated with those other websites and are not responsible for their content. As a Company, we are opposed to content that is obscene, vulgar or otherwise not "family friendly." We support positive family values and you can count on us for "safe surfing" by your children.

STEPH DEROSA: WESTERN R BAR & GRILL >>>

I’ve never had to fend off as many men as I did that night hanging out with Ginger Knoxx at the Western R Bar & Grill. Best part of it all was that she actually gave them her real phone number. “No fakes?” I asked. She knew how it went with guys like this, “They’ll call a couple of times, I’ll keep turning them down, and they’ll eventually get bored.” True dat, Ginger Knoxx. That is, if they even remember tomorrow how they met you and that they have your number.

Read what I had to deal with here.

DANIEL BLUE: L.A. IN THE HOUSE >>>

Last night Jason Freet, Friskey, and Softboiled Eggies from Los Angeles rocked The Helm gallery. 

True to form The Helm mixes cutting local talent with inspiring work from beyond the borders of our enclave.

DANIEL BLUE: MEET RYAN LOISELLE >>>

Ryan Loiselle moved to Tacoma in 1989 and quickly dug in his heels like a stubborn mountain goat. The kind of mountain goat that has a face shaped like a pentagram - yes that kind. I don't know if Ryan ever played Dungeons and Dragons, but if he did his character would be a black wizard. 

An artist and a scholar, Ryan works for the Tacoma Public School District and creates strange and wonderful artwork in many mediums, such as paint, graphics, music, beer and film. 

Ryan is friendly and honest. He loves the humanity of humanity, and the fragility of sanity.

Recently he was at the Urban Art Festival riding around on the tallest bicycle I have seen since Bellingham. I mean tall here, like if you fell you would die.

Thanks for all the danger, Ryan, in the words of Batman's for the Joker, "This town needs an enema."  I wish you were my sixth-grade teacher, but I was home schooled so that's kind of like saying I wish you were my mom.

MICHAEL SWAN: NOT BILT VERY WELL >>>

The Washington State Department of Health has partially closed the Biltmore Motel in Lakewood due the danger of a roof collapse. Units 16-17 must be closed and vacated by midnight, July 11, 2008.

The inspectors also found mold, broken smoke detectors, exposed electrical wiring, unsanitary floors, walls and fixtures â€" basically it’s a mess. 

The motel owner has 10 days to request a hearing and 28 days to contest these charges.

Check it out at 12701 Pacific Hwy. S.W. in Lakewood.  Another sight in the area is Jerry's Adult Book Store next door at 12626 Pacific Hwy. S.W.

BRAD ALLEN: TACOMA OLD TOWN BLUES FESTIVAL >>>

Imagine an event that offers community building, pancakes and live blues. What else could you ask for?  Check it out this Saturday. Tacoma’s Old Town neighborhood close to Ruston Way will be offering a Bluesberry Pancake Breakfast featuring Alex Weed and Jay Mabin, kicking-off the Tacoma Old Town Blues Fest at 9:30 a.m., with live music that will run all afternoon and well into the night.

[Old Town Tacoma, 10 a.m. to 1 a.m., $20 all day pass (main stage in park is free), North 30th and McCarver St., Old Town Tacoma]

LINK: Previously in the Weekly Volcano: Alex Weed
LINK: Tacoma Old Town Blues Festival

MATT DRISCOLL: UMBER SLEEPING CD RELEASE SHOW TONIGHT AT HK >>>

Despite the intense hatred I built up for pirates last week when the bloody villains took over the Weekly Volcano, I must admit: pirates can have good taste in music. Sure, some of them exclusively listen to bland chanteys (and nothing is worse than bland chanteys), but some pirates are just as musically hip as you or me.

Take Pirate Carl the Well-Tanned, for instance. Though his buccaneer drawl can be a bit much in writing, his preview of tonight’s Umber Sleeping CD release show at Hell’s Kitchen was top notch. While, technically speaking, Pirate Carl the Well-Tanned may be a first rate raper and pillager â€" not characteristics I usually like to associate with â€" his musical taste can’t be discredited. Dude knows his stuff. Choosing to cover Umber Sleeping, their new status as a four piece, and the band's new record - Theme From Science Films - proves that unequivocally.

Will I see Pirate Carl tonight when I head to Hell’s Kitchen to catch the Drug Purse, Joy Wants Eternity, Massive Moth and Umber Sleeping? Who knows? All I do know is - either way it won’t really matter. The keyboard enchantment and soundtrack vibe of Umber Sleeping’s magic should be enough to captivate us both. Raping and pillaging will probably be the last thing on a pirate’s mind.

Let’s hope so, at least. I’ve been raped and pillaged enough lately. Pirate or no pirate, can’t we all just enjoy some of the best bands Tacoma has to offer tonight at Hell’s Kitchen in peace?

It shouldn’t be too much to ask.

SUZY STUMP: JAZZ UNDER THE STARS >>>

I always enjoy a Big Dipper after tight harmonies.  And thank the heavenly bodies, Pacific Lutheran University will make my dream come true.  The college hosts Jazz Under the Stars, an outdoor jazz concert series followed by rare public entry into the Keck Observatory.  The series, a different band every Thursday through Aug. 16, kicks off tonight with Dennis Hastings in the college’s amphitheater. Hastings’ current project is called The Dennis Hastings DEK-TET â€" a show dedicated to the musical arrangements of Mel Torme and his longtime collaborator, Marty Paich. 

After the tunes, it’s off to the lower campus to peer through the 16-inch and 8-inch telescopes.

So sit back, take in the music and make a wish on a star (did I really write that?). 

[Mary Baker Russell Amphitheater, 7-9 p.m., no cover, 124th St. S. and 10th Ave. S., 253.535.7787]

LINK: Jazz Under the Stars schedule