DANIEL BLUE: MEET RANDALL >>>

Randall is very handy. I was introduced to him as Handy Randy, "The hardest working man in Tacoma."  Randall refutes this, stating that the title belongs to George Reed Harmon.  I've never been to work with Randy, but most of the times that I see him he is covered in sawdust or some such aftermath of hard laborious muscle forming activity.   

Randy is a man of simple principals, often when I worked at urbanXchange, he would bring in two pieces of pizza, but only eat one. As I devoured the leftovers he would discuss the kinds of boots that were the best for different activities.  I looked down at his boots and decided that you could probably run over his foot with your truck without him noticing. 

Randall has all sorts of useful skills that I have never thought about needing to know, such as making it up into the top of a dangerous tree with a chainsaw. 

Always warm and unafraid, Randall sits with me whenever we see each other. Once he even pleasantly interrupted my date and I at the Harvester (high ticket women intrigue me).  Randal started the conversation by saying, "Wanna see some funny pictures of me?" 

Yes.

UPDATE

Handy Randy saved the day at Pappi Swarner's residence today. While Pappi was setting off fireworks in the City of Tacoma yesterday the rotting cherry tree in his backyard split in two and fell onto his fence. Today, Handy Randy rigged up a rope and tackle system and pulled the rest of that puppy down, saving the house and Pappi's precious China doll collection.

Yeah Handy Randy!

SUZY STUMP: THANKS TACOMA MAMA! >>>

Friend of the Weekly Volcano/Spew, Tacoma Mama sent us a few snapshots of the Frost Park Chalk Challenge 13 held July 4, 2008 in downtown Tacoma.  Pictured are the winners:

Winning Piece â€" Lisa from lifeofelle.com

2nd Place â€" Flying Turtle, by RR Anderson, holisticforgeworks.com

3rd Place - Abstract, by B. Stowe

4th Place - Patriotic Garfield, by Jeremy

Thanks Tacoma Mama! We dig your locally-owned city guide.

LINK: More chalk photos on our Photo Hot Spot

EVENT
Tall Ships Tacoma
Check out me link here fer me and me mates’ list of Tall Ships Tacoma events for the entire length de be docked in Tacoma â€" including Museum of Glass’ annual sale and the Black Pirate screening Sunday at the Rialto Theater. Fer all the Tall Ships Tacoma information ye can shake a wooden leg at, be at th' official Web site. â€" Cap’n Rumgut

FESTIVAL
Zimfest
Me just finished a clap of thunder and ravaged a wench, but before I rest me eyes for a spell, let me tell you about a treasure of a time known as Zimfest, the Zimbabwean Music Festival, for it’s a booty of a good time. Zimfest is annual jubilee that brings together music and culture from the country far, far away from the calm seas of Tacoma. â€" Capt. Black
[Pacific Lutheran University, July 6, 1010 S. 122nd St., Tacoma, 360.321.2075, zimfest.org]

FILM
Black Pirate
This film, made in the Year of Our Lord 1926, boasts enough drama and action to shiver yer timbers and buckle yer swashes. The story follows a nobleman as bloodthirsty scallywags maraud his boat on the high seas, slaying his father in the scuffle. Curse those thievin’ dogs! Arrrgh! But by the grace o’ God the son survives and vows revenge. He hunts down the wicked killers and, posing as a pirate, joins their posse. Throw a kidnapped damsel an’ cannons an’ swords a-plenty into the fray and the stage is set for a sea-churnin’ good-versus-evil finale. Aye, movie magic at its simplest and most endearing … and not one villain with a face full of slippery tentacles in sight.   

Without the cries of cutthroats or the clashing of cutlasses, Black Pirate needs a robust score for keeping up with its relentless action. Who better to enliven the film with music than internationally renowned organist (and Tacoma dweller) Dennis James? James has traversed the globe, studying and playing to sold-out shows for more than 40 years.

The Rialto’s revelries commence at 7 o’clock in the evening. The $15 entrance fee gets one a place in the several raffles takin’ place. Profits raised go toward Tacoma’s esteemed First Night, an annual celebration of the arts. â€" Bartholomew Ruffin
[Rialto Theater, 7 p.m., $15 at LeRoy Jewelers, Glenna’s Clothing, King’s Books and the Broadway Center box office, 310 S. Ninth, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

LINK: Kimya Dawson and others perform today.
LINK: Check out when the movies begin here.
LINK: Let’s eat Mexican today.

DANIEL BLUE: ALEGRA THORNSBURG >>>

I have known Alegra Thornsburg for quite some time; she has, however, remained a mystery to me though I am not sure as to the reason.   

Having first met her at The Monsoon Room, where she was gainfully employed, I discovered a highly intelligent woman hidden behind her time bending almond eyes. Strict and sweet she was always in charge: of the bar, of the conversation, and of most young men's attention, should they wonder in like silly flies, thinking to take a rest on the spiders web.   

Currently employed by a local Viceroy, "Legs" as we so affectionately call her, is seeking grants and proposals of every sort in order to keep the Fulcrum Gallery securely in the balance. An encounter with this mischievously woman usually causes me to take a deep breath and digest the feeling of calm that she seems to bring with her to every context.  An artful nurture resounds from her every word, while charm and enchantment are her weapons on a weary and lonely blue-collar day's night. 

It is good to know we are so loved.

STEPH DEROSA: DINNER WITH DEROSA >>>

The fine people of the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters still seem to think it’s a good idea to give me access to media/press passes.  Until they figure out that their precious reputation is getting nothing but tarnished by this, I will continue to graciously accept said elite badges of honor.

My guests for this week’s Dinner with DeRosa are all individuals who unfortunately (or fortunately) fell into my line of fire as I made my mark on Tall Ships Tacoma this weekend.

Immediately upon entering the media area at Tall Ships, I scoped out the room of desks where nerds like Scott Fontaine were on the spot blogging with access to super fast wi-fi Internet connections.  See, to be cool like me what you do is just wait until the last minute to write up your blog.  If you want to be even cooler you wait until after your editor has asked for it three times and threatened termination.  Not something I really recommend, but I feel cool nonetheless. 

Next I perused the media area’s free snack and beverages table.  Moon Pies, granola bars, and bananas made my tummy grumble as I filled up my purse with as much grub that would fit.   

Next stop: harass the innocent Tall Ships volunteers.  The main question I had for these ladies was, “What ship has the hottest sailors?”  The awesome Delphine, Arlene, and Kathy were quick to answer, “The USCGC Eagle!”  You know how I knew these ladies were so awesome?  They already had picture proof of the sailor hotness.  I looked at the pictures, picked my jaw up off the ground, and quickly reserved my spot for an interview with the gorgeous young lads.

The next day I showed up for my interviews and ship tours they had set up for me.  I was told I’d be given a personal escort.  Wait, they were giving me an escort?  And I didn’t have to pay for him?  Could I pick him out, or what?  I was so excited.  I licked my lips and fluffed my hair as I anxiously waited for my partially tattooed exchange student from Spain to enter the room. 

Instead I got Sharon.  Even though it was the FIFTH of July (Sharon, I’m talking to you), she had American Independence flowing through her veins.  So much so that it bled all the way into her fingernails.  See for yourself.

We immediately bonded and raced down to the USCGC Eagle to interview hot cadets.  Petty Officer Sean Eggert was our liaison.  He was so chill he didn’t even flinch when I requested to talk to a cadet “with some personality, please.”  You know it’s like pulling teeth trying to spotlight a boring geek with questions.

Petty Officer Eggert took a few minutes below deck, and resurfaced with Alexander Rulon in tow.  Eeee-yikes, he was cute.  This fresh 19 year old will be this Thursday’s victim in the Weekly Volcano’s print version of Trouble With DeRosa.  Pick one up and check it out, yo.

So, just for fun â€" let me show you the velocity of hotness that was going on aboard this ship:

I learned a new word that will from now on have multiple perverted meanings:  Baggy Wrinkle.  Baggy Wrinkle is the rope looking stuff on the lines that keeps the sails from chaffing.  Baggy Wrinkle.  Tee-hee!  Makes me giggle.

The line to get aboard the USCGC Eagle had a wait of over an hour.  I couldn’t imagine waiting in a line like that for anything but an all male nude review, so I asked Samantha if it was worth it.  Her answer: “Oh heck yes!”  Good to hear, Samantha.  She did have one small complaint that she had waited for hours in the line just the day before, but the event closed for the day before she could board the Eagle.  So, today she had to pay the $20 again, only to wait back in line, again.  Shouldn’t there be some sort of stamp or something so she could just come back the next day â€" since she had been waiting all that time the day before?

It didn’t take much to convince my personal escort Sharon to hijack one of the golf carts and motor my butt through Tall Ships.  She was just as naughty as I was, and I loved it.  We had Tall Ships at our fingertips.  We then met up with Captain Robin Patterson of Tug Joe, the local tugboat here in town.

16-year-old Nicole Rambo was going through all ships, making sure to get her passport stamped and taking the time to get crew signatures.

Sharon and I stopped for some Hawaiian Ice as we sat on the Glass Museum steps and people watched.  I don’t remember this guy’s name, but he is a retired Marine that came to us chocked full of dirty jokes.  He made me laugh, and I liked him.

Jack Sparrow was in full effect.  The way he glanced my body up and down…wow…just wow.  He made my knees buckle simply with his eyes.  He didn’t even say a single word, and I buckled like a perverted soufflé. 
Since I wasn’t going to be getting any action from any real sailors or pirates, I found my own perfect blow up doll.

A couple of hours later, we returned with the golf cart (keeping our occasional stroller collision to a minimum), and boy oh boy, were we in trouble.  I still had to tour the Kaisei and HMS Bounty, but they were not letting Sharon and I go alone again.  We were busted, and this time they sent a third escort with us.  This is where the fun ended, and I had to simply keep my mouth shut and take pictures.  Sharon and I both pouted. 

Fortunately, I was allowed to take some time and talk to a crewmember of the Kaisei.  It took he and his seven-member crew nine and a half days to sail their ship from Sausalito, CA into our tiny port.  The northwest winds were so strong coming up the coast that it literally beat them up, as they could only use gas power (not sails) to move forward.   He also shared with me that since the Kaisei was originally used for Japanese sail training, that all instructions and gadgets were in Japanese.  It makes for the initial learning curve to be a bit more ridged, but “It’s an easy ship to navigate,” the sailor stated.

I boarded the HMS Bounty and bit my tongue as the new no-frills escort micro-managed me.  I managed to escape my leash and snap a few shots of the Bounty before my time at Tall Ships was up.

I’ll definitely be back to Tall Ships the next time they come around. Let’s just hope they’ve forgotten my name by then, and all the charges have dropped.

LINK: Dinner with DeRosa archive

CLASS
Arrrrrt Of Hip-Hop
Avast, me hip-hop lovin’ hearties! The D.A.S.H. Center for the Arrrrrrrts offers The Arrrrrrrt Of Hip-Hop summer camp for de kiddies!  Your youngster will be learned in the four elements of hip-hop, the history of each, and hip-hop’s influence on thar society:  arrrrtistically, socially, politically and economically. The kiddies will participate in hooks-on creation of hip-hop arrrrrt works, and as a crew will make a hip-hop event to learn, entertain and uplift thar communities. D.A.S.H. has a hip-hop dance class, too. â€" "Machete" Walt Hacke
[D.A.S.H. Center for the Arrrrrrrts, July 7-Aug. 2 Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., $100, 1504 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.572.3274]

INDIE ROCK
Kimya Dawson
Kimya Dawson has pounced on th’ national scene thanks to herrr work on th’ movie Juno, for which ye wrote and recorded nine songs on the film’s soundtrack. Dawson’s style is unmistakable and one of da kind. Ye voice, and for that matter ye music, is hilarrrious and bitter, melancholy and luminous â€" all at once. Ye work traverses a scope of human emotions dat can only be described as real â€" and realness these days is a commodity sorely lacking in the world of music. For dis reason alone, Dawson’s time has come. â€" Pirate Carl the Well-Tanned
[Eagles Hall, Kimya Dawson, Heathers, Ghost Mice, June Madrona, 6:30 p.m., all ages, $3-$10, proceeds benefit Olympia Free School, 805 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia]

LINK: Rockaraoke and more in the clubs tonight.
LINK: Check out when the movies start here.
LINK: Let’s eat at a bistro today.

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

Palaver \puh-LAV-uhr; puh-LAH-vur\, noun:
1. Idle talk
2. Talk intended to beguile or deceive.
3. A parley usually between persons of different backgrounds or cultures or levels of sophistication; a talk; hence, a public conference and deliberation.
4. To talk idly.
5. To flatter; to cajole.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Right before being cut off at the Freedom Fair beer garden, Bobble Tiki and his buddies were engaged in some serious palaver. The subject of discussion: Milk Duds.

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Black smoke in the port

OLYMPIA: Toss that food waste

SEATTLE: Seattle talks streetcars

UNITED STATES: Drugs and Americans

ENVIRONMENT: Solar panels on new Prius to power AC

JUST BIZARRE: Trapped in chastity

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Drunken Swede

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

DANIEL BLUE: MEET MARIA >>>

Maria Jost does not normally play with guns. To the best of my knowledge she has never killed anything but bugs, and with much reluctance and prayer for their buzzy little afterlives.

Having graduated from the University of Puget Sound, she spent a few years working as a scientist in Costa Rica, but the charm of her college town brought her back. She has lived in Tacoma since November 2006.

A world traveler and a strange hybrid of scientist and artist, Maria is employed by the School of the Arts in our progressive downtown metropolis.

She is the most intelligent person I know, but we agree that smarts aren't everything. 

Maria is an observer of nature and has the rare quality of humility in her theory and practice. She waits for the answer to reveal itself in relationship, and seeks partnership with all she studies. There is little that she cannot answer having to do with the subjects of botany and anatomy, ecology and conservation are her passions.

Rare it is to discover a human being as well rounded and powerful as this. Maria also enjoys soccer, jogging and most any competitive sporty activity.