EVENT
Tall Ships Tacoma
Check out me link here fer me and me mates’ list of Tall Ships Tacoma events for the entire length de be docked in Tacoma â€" including TacomaOpolis on Saturday, Museum of Glass’ annual sale and the Black Pirate screening Sunday at the Rialto Theater.

Fer all the Tall Ships Tacoma information ye can shake a wooden leg at, be at th' official Web site. â€" Cap’n Rumgut

CONTEST
Look A Like
Mate, of course ye know what a "liger" is (it's, ahoy, a lion and a tiger mixed â€" bred for its skills in magic, avast). And ye totally know that Rex Kwon Do is, ahoy, th’ greatest of all martial arts. Aye, ye do. Well, ye do if you've seen that Napoleon Dynamite son of a biscuit eater, ahoy, infinity times. Den ye should have none trouble recognizing me as that Naphead during the Look A Like Contest Friday at Freedom Fair. Me will have some ChapStick (just in case ye lips hurt real bad, avast).

Check out de entire Freedom Fair schedule here. â€" Sweatin' Baird Dawkins
[Dickman Mill Park, noon, 2423 Ruston Way, Tacoma, 253.798.5225]

FESTIVAL
Zimfest
Me just finished a clap of thunder and ravaged a wench, but before I rest me eyes for a spell, let me tell you about a treasure of a time known as Zimfest, the Zimbabwean Music Festival, for it’s a booty of a good time. Zimfest is annual jubilee that brings together music and culture from the country far, far away from the calm seas of Tacoma. â€" Capt. Black
[Pacific Lutheran University, July 4-6, 1010 S. 122nd St., Tacoma, 360.321.2075, zimfest.org]

BANG
Fireworks
Shiver me timbers! Tacoma, yer as yella as me piss stained knickers aft a night o’ grog swillin! When yer national celebration o’ independence rolls around dis comin’ Friday, twill be illegal to set off a single bottle rocket or black cat in all o’ Tacoma. Ye cowards deserved to be keelhauled for yer sissy ways. â€" Stinkin' Radley Sparrow

LINK: Junkyard Jane and more in the clubs tonight.
LINK: Check out when the movies begin here.
LINK: Let’s eat American cuisine today.