DANIEL BLUE: MEET JUST JOHNNY, JUST MARRIED >>>

Johnny wants to be known as "Just Johnny, Just Married." OK, so you shall be known.

I run into my fellow scientist every now and again, our symbol of love for each other has become the turning of invisible knobs and dials. It is the symbol of science. We planned to be in a band and wear lab coats, but Johnny is a busy, busy boy.

"I have $300 worth of expensive colognes in my medicine cabinet, I don't wear any of them," he says when I asked him about his current projects. "I'm in a five, four, six, uh - a lot of bands."

What are they called, Johnny?

"The Siph, Homoriphic, Johnny Cheezeburger and the Cum Bunnies, The Brown Boys and Locals Only."

So you practice like five nights a week.

"No, Johnny Cheezeburger is my main squeeze, the Siph and Homorific are second, and The Brown Boys and Locals Only are like whenever."

Cool. JJJM was born in Solina, Kan., July 12, 1984.

"My cat has two thumbs on each paw!" he explains, followed by, "My wife is a Lesbian but she is straight for me."

Congratulations Umeko, you are the envy of every girl in town.

They tattooed red and blue DNA strands on their ring fingers for each other. Awesome.