GUSTY GAIL: WELCOME FIRST TALL YACHT >>>

A young, hot, sweaty crew member of the Kaisei held my hand as I boarded the it from the rope ladder (even before Customs!). It’s the first Tall Ship to port in Tacoma and I’m the first American to board.  The young crew reminded me of every pornographic college dream I’d ever had. And ladies they want to meet you. They were so eager to let me on board, my brown and white polka-dot dress blowing in the wind revealing my slip that they forgot customs hadn’t cleared them yet. I was breaking the law and it felt HOT!

Given this monumental opportunity, I went gonzo on the Kaisei crew. What do they think of Tacoma and their jobs as sexy sailors?

“I want to die on one of the tall ships not this F-ing yacht,” says crew hand Jimmy McMannis. Here’s hoping calling it like he sees it doesn’t get him a walk on the plank.

Otis Downs from San Francisco is my favorite sailor and he has the right attitude about work, “Work is for the drinking class.” I’m wetting my lips with red gloss now betting I’ll see Otis at the Dock Street Landing. I just hope he doesn’t eat the food. I had the worst case of diarrhea last week from their Tacos. I think it was food poisoning. It burned my butt.

Jenny Condell from Ireland, a righteous chick and only woman I met was delirious with delight at the opportunity to share girl gossip. She was quick to confide, “Otis and I have been up for 25 hours and we don’t even know our names anymore.” The pirate in me wonders what they were doing all night, as I decide to take my ass off the boat before customs threw me in the slammer.

Welcome to Tacoma Kaisei. We’re ready to party with yea until you drop and we’ll make sure your crew doesn’t drop until the USCG Eagle has yet to arrive. It’s the big mother of the Tall Ships, not some pussy ass yacht.