STEPH DEROSA: MY NEW NAME IS ROCK >>>
The concert ticket gods blessed us with floor seats last night for Kid Rock’s show at the Puyallup Fair. It was a sold out event that pulled in Western Washington’s finest and brightest country rock fans. You know, of course, I’m talking about The KAke and myself.
We needed bodyguards, and someone to pay for our dinner and beer, so we let Pappi Swarner and Mr. DeRosa tag along. The bigger entourage I have the more important I feel â€" especially at a Puyallup Fair/Kid Rock event. We tried to get a good picture of The KAke, and me, but Pappi and Mr. DeRosa were having too much fun playing their own immature games â€" so I got nothing. Bitches.
Payback’s a bitch, because this was Pappi’s view of the Kid Rock show for the entire evening.
Kid did his ‘thang,’ sang his tunes, thrusted his libido, and held on
tight to his cowboy hat that I’m sure was covering up an enormous
receding hairline. I’ll admit it, the show was hot, and he was on
fire. KAke and I rocked out like it was 1999. Literally 1999 â€" isn’t
that when his whole “Cowboy†song came out? Speaking of his “Cowboyâ€
song, it was repeated at the end of three different songs last night.
I guess if you have a hit like that, you gotta play it for the crowds.
Three times.
With the release of his 2007 album Rock N’ Roll Jesus, the recurring
theme for the evening was church, Jesus, and religion. KAke was
confused and concerned. “At what point did Kid Rock find Jesus and
develop this whole ‘religion’ facade?†she asked. I answered, “Well,
he’s been hanging out at Run’s House lately, and Run (of Run-DMC) is
now a reverend.†How do I know this? I’m a MTV reality show junkie,
that’s how I know.
Before KAke could even grasp the thought of Kid Rock stepping foot in a
church â€" low and behold â€" out comes Reverend Run! Just to keep up with
the whole “religion†frame of mind, we screamed, “Holy Shit!†as he
stepped out on stage. Seeing him there, busting out the OLD SKOOL
hip-hop from the early ‘80s, we were giddy like little Catholic
schoolgirls. It was unbelievable.
I was completely in awe of Kid’s drummer, Stefanie Eulinberg, who
kicked ass and rocked out the entire show. She even stepped up to
rebut Kid’s song about a girl’s tight ass (or something like that) by
singing her own verse, which included praising men who have huge
cocks. I didn’t know the song, but I sure did like it. Anyone know
what song I’m talking about? Anyone?
Later in the night he sang “Picture,†which is his hit duet with Sheryl
Crow. No, Sheryl didn’t make it to the Puyallup Fair stage last night,
but instead Kid’s back up signer came forward and tried really hard to
fill Sheryl’s vocal shoes.
Kid Rock put on an absolutely incredibly entertaining show. We danced
our pants off while Kid made love to his audience, slowly but surely.
With all of the expletives, hair pulling, and pelvis thrusting â€" it was
literally like he had his way with us and tossed us aside, worn out and
thanking him for the abuse. By the end of the show he was nearly
naked. Take a look back at the pictures. He went from jacket and
slacks, to t-shirt, to wife-beater, to being completely shirtless by
the last song. Regardless, just as with any steamy sexual encounter,
KAke and I felt completely satisfied and begging for more.
The first time I saw Rheteric Ramirez do his set, I was blown away. It was Saturday night in L.A. and Olympia’s Saints of Everyday Failures were on tour playing a weekly hosted by Awol One at Bobby McGee’s Bar & Grill, which is like Red Robin if they had a stage in the bar and did a Best Bikini Body contest on Service Industry Night. Out steps a stocky dude in a sleeveless muscle shirt that had a Harley and an eagle on it, and over the P.A. system comes something like Suicidal Tendencies with breakbeats, and this vato that looked like he’d be just as comfortable kicking your teeth in as breaking your surfboard screaming “Locals Only!†is double-time rapping and singing his own hooks like he was Danzig’s little brother, Frankensteining around the dance floor like he’s priming the mosh pit. Later, I saw him rock the Blunt Club in Phoenix with a set that got the entire 300 people there bobbing, a daunting task in a town full of hip-hop afficionados. 
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