STEPH DEROSA: IS THIS A POPULARITY CONTEST? >>>

Since someone somewhere at Weekly Volcano headquarters bought Matt Driscoll a desk, I complained like a jealous little bitch, and now I have one too.  Across my brand new desk a multitude of announcements flowed from local TACOMA shops and restaurants stating that they’ve been nominated for what I declare as television news history’s most brilliant marketing scheme ever: Best of Western Washington contest.

Everyone except Christopher Wood and myself have been nominated for “Best of Western Washington.”  Seriously.  I’m not debunking the fact that our locally owned businesses are in fact the BEST, but this contest has just gotten out of control.  Here’s the 10-step process to how it works:

Step 1: As a business owner, tell a friend or regular customer about the contest.

Step 2: Let the customer/friend nominate you. 

Step 3: If in a hurry, or have no customers, nominate yourself under a fake name.

Step 4: Send out emails and make phone calls to people who will help whore out your votes.

Step 5: Send out multiple MySpace and Facebook blogs and bulletins telling people to vote for you. 

Step 6: Friends go to The King 5 Web site

Step 7: After being blinded by flashing screen adds and clicking out from numerous pop-up adds that I’m sure were sold for top dollar due to constant Web traffic, friends vote for your business.

Step 8: Wait.  Maybe smoke out, watch Scarface a few times while reminiscing on puberty and what eighth-grade was like for you. 

Step 9:  Realize that a plaque on the wall from King 5 does not determine how much Tacoma loves you.  Yes, you are awesome, that’s why you opened up a business in Tacoma â€" because you have something of precious value.  I, for one, will tell you that anytime you want to hear it.  I am proud of my community and it’s independent business owners.  Come to me and I will stroke your ego all you want.

Step 10 (second option from step 9): Send Steph DeRosa hate mail for writing this.  Fuck her!  She’s just a bitter bitch who uses this blog for venting her own irritating frustrations.

See?  It’s easy!  In just 10 steps you too can win King 5’s Best of Western Washington!

Now time for debate:

Is this a popularity contest?   Whoever can rally the most friends wins?  Is the love your community has for you and amount of true customers actually reflected in these votes?  What about the senior citizen who comes into your restaurant for breakfast EVERY Sunday, but who doesn’t use a computer?  Or the 5 year old who begs her mom to go into your store after school for ice cream every day?  Or what about the guy in a suit who stops by every Friday after work to get flowers for his wife?  Are they on MySpace? Is the 5 year old going to the King 5 Web site?  

Go ahead and flame away.  It’s my two cents.

LINK: Best of Tacoma. Go Local!