ALEC CLAYTON: FUTURE THINGS ARE COMING >>>

Seldom do the arts and politics come together in this country. When they do, the results can be uplifting or depressing, depending on who happens to be in power at the time. Just as America was rejoicing in the election of Barack Obama, George W. Bush reminded us that he still has three more months to screw the United States by appointing Lee Greenwood to a six-year term on the National Arts Council. For those watching at home, that’s country singer Lee Greenwood of “God Bless the USA” fame.

PREDICTION: Under Greenwood’s influence we will have a new national anthem: “Let the Eagles Soar” as sung by John Ashcroft. On Broadway six theaters will run, simultaneously, High School Musical 4 through 9, and the only other current hit play will be The Rest of the Story, a one-man-play starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Paul Harvey. And the National Gallery in Washington, D.C., will install a permanent exhibition of paintings by Thomas Kinkade, the father of schmaltzy, Christmas-card-inspired landscapes. Finally, all books by J.K. Rowling, Mark Twain, Salmon Rushdie and Judy Blume will be banned from distribution in the United States.

For more predictions pick up today’s issue of the Weekly Volcano. You can find the rag in many glorious locations from Tumwater to Federal Way.