STEPH DEROSA: NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK PLAYED THE TACOMA DOME >>>
We used to tell the joke, “What has a thousand legs and no pubic hair? The front row of a New Kids on the Block concert.†After attending last night’s NKOTB concert at the Tacoma Dome, I would define the fan demographic as more of a “What has a thousand legs and multiple cesarean scars.†The crowd was a sea of hormone-enraged (majority white) screaming women between the ages of 25 and 35. I’m sure they all woke up this morning with no voices left. Those concertgoers were absolutely crazy last night, to put it lightly.
Most women I spoke with before the show were out for the night away from the kids, removed from the husbands, and attending the show with old friends they grew up with while listening to NKOTB. Fans were decked out in clothes from the 1980s, and some even had their original concert shirts. My favorites were women who brought their NKOTB dolls. Don’t worry; I pulled the doll’s pants down to see if they had a proper penis bulge. Consider it a community service. Hey, don’t go getting’ all offended that I pulled their pants down â€" I can pretty much guarantee that those dolls have been violated much worse in their life.
Natasha Beddingfield opened up after Lady Gaga with a soaring vocal display that proved she really could carry a tune. She sang those two songs you’ve heard on the radio, plus a few others. I took these moments to scan the lines of beverage consumers for good 80s garb. I snapped some shots and came to the obvious conclusion that this was BY FAR the nicest crowd I’ve ever interrogated at a public event. Every single person I talked to, every person I asked to take a picture of, was more than happy to pose and chat away. Everyone had a story, and everyone had a favorite New Kid’s memory.
At about 9:30 p.m., New Kids on the Block finally took the stage opening with “Single†off their new appropriately titled album The Block. While the slew of flailing female arms was still in action, the group quickly went into old favorites such as “My Favorite Girl,†“Didn’t I (Blow You’re Mind)†and a swooning rendition of “You’ve Got It (The Right Stuff).†When “The Right Stuff†began, I was scared for my life. I was up in the press box, not even part of the bleachers, and the floor still bounced like it was going to fall out beneath me. Those women, and NKOTB, literally rocked the dome last night.
Revamped old school song “Games†took the audience away with cool lighting, seductive dance moves, and great vocals. Danny Wood pulled out some moves from his old breakin’ days while other New Kid members had the crowd singing “Oh we oh we oh â€" oooohooooh.†This set the tempo for crowd involvement for the rest of the night. New Kids on the Block had the ability to get the crowd going and be involved in the show. Excellent job, guys.
Even though they were en fuego last night, and seemed to give me a little femme-boner, there were a couple of things I noticed about the aging superstars. For instance, Jordan Knight’s falsetto was not as high as it once was, and poor Donnie Wahlberg seemed to become tone deaf during his “Cover Girl†solo. I was a little embarrassed for him. And I wanted to pull his baggy pants up. C’mon dude, you’re almost 40. It’s not cool to dress in gangsta-bling when you’re 40.
I couldn’t tell if the cheesy moments of rehearsed onstage banter and positive lecturing still made the girls swoon, but they seemed to pull it off by always going directly into an energetic song that made you glad you were witnessing a moment in reunion tour history.
I liked new songs “Summertime†and “Closer†and appreciated the encore lineup of “Step By Step†and “Hangin’ Tough.†“Hangin’ Tough†was changed up a bit by adding a little Queen cover in the mix, “We Will Rock You.†This was something I could definitely dig.
Admittedly, I’ve never been a NKOTB fan â€" so you know these compliments are genuine and not based on any internal reactions of my suppressed teenage hormones. I’ll save those reactions for more inappropriate times â€" like political fund-raisers. These guys were still hot, could still dance, and for the most part â€"still carry a tune.