STEPH DEROSA: HANGING AT TODAY'S WINTERFEST >>>

Recently I met up with Jason McClellan who deserves the honorary “first guest” at this week’s Dinner with DeRosa dinner table.  Not that there is any true system as to how the dinner guests are usually ordered, but if there were â€" he’d be the first guest.  He’s chosen because he endured a conversation that will (hopefully) give structure to this next week’s Trouble with DeRosa.  He’s also first because he didn’t punch me in the face or run away crying, which is what I’m used to most people doing after they meet me, so he’s cool.   Check out my interview with Jason in the Trouble with DeRosa column in Thursday’s issue of the Weekly Volcano.

Becky, Theresa, and Noelle were the suckers that let me into Tacoma Winterfest today, where I found the rest of today’s dinner guests.  They most likely got fired for letting me in, so I suppose I owe them an imaginary Internet dinner.  Thanks, ladies.  And thank you, Angela Jossy and crew, for hosting an event supporting local merchants. 

Evan Purcell and Doug Mackey took the Winterfest stage as the “Tacoma Singers.” Seriously? Is that their new band name? What happened to their Prairie Dogs band?

"We're the only singers in Tacoma," claimed Doug. "If you hear of any others please let us know. They will be instant band members."

Although they sang serious songs (they're freakin' talented), it was hard to take them seriously and not laugh at almost everything they said.  What a couple of fun guys with great personalities.  This is an extremely valuable trait that I respect more than a huge manly pant-bulge.  Oh, leave me alone.  Men look at my breasts, I look at their bulges.  What’s fair is fair.

Tom Michael of Seven Muses â€" I took your picture.  You acted confused when I asked to take your picture.  This is normal, Tom Michael.  Most men are discombobulated after I look at them and ask them to take their picture.  This comes from my superhuman beauty, which burns the eye’s retina and triggers misfires of brainwaves.  Don’t worry; you’re not the first.

Greg Murphy is invited to Dinner with DeRosa this week.  Ever since Curt Cobain’s death led to Nirvana’s demise, we’ve been hurting for some team spirit.  Oh, wait, that was "Teen Spirit."  Nevermind then.

Mangiamo!

BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP 15 >>>

JAKE DE PAUL: NOT DUE TO THE COLD >>>

My new favorite Southern food spot/Sunday gospel fix Stephanie's Gospel and Jazz in downtown Tacoma (928 Pacific Ave.) is closed today. Apparently partner disputes and bond issues are at hand.

I hope the issues are resolved soon. Digging the joint.

SUZY STUMP: SKATE WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO >>>

There are some hobbies you should just pick up. Stamp collecting is not one of them. Neither is anything involving plastic model kits. Now, these pastimes have nothing inherently wrong with them; they’ve just become rather, well, mockable over the years. They just can’t be taken seriously anymore. They’re not cool. And you and I both know you have to be cool. And these just don’t cut it. Not like ice skating does. It’s cool, both literally and figuratively.  Think about it: you get to go really fast; there’s a high potential for injury; and if you get really, really good, really, really, really quickly, you’ll probably end up winning a Gold Medal in the next Olympics. Take that, loser bird-watchers! 

Sprinker Recreation Center offers public ice skating over the holidays, except Dec. 25 and Jan. 1.

[Sprinker Recreation Center, public skate schedule here, $3-$5, 14824 S. C St., Spanaway, Coldline 253.798.4040]

Love, Satellite Coffee style

STEPH DEROSA: BROWN DERBY COBB SALAD >>>

Crouton Rating: Four out of four

When it comes to salads, the most important thing is freshness. There’s nothing worse than the smell of stale lettuce from a bag, or hard-floured cheese from whoknowswhere. And trust me, I can smell it a mile away. It’s a slight stench that only I can detect, and my unfortunate tablemates usually don’t understand. As a matter of fact, they get embarrassed for me, but that’s their problem. Nothing sends me into a tirade of lunacy more than salad failure. I’ll turn my nose up and send that shit back quicker than my pee froze last weekend outside that crowded bar with only one girls’ restroom.

Last week as I lunched with JCB and Kris Blondin a la Pacific Grill’s bar top, I watched them split a navy bean soup (which smelled amazing) while I chowed on one of my all-time favorite salads â€" The Cobb Salad. Pacific Grill serves up their own extraordinarily fresh version of the classic Cobb, and does so with the perfection I’ve come to expect from this downtown Tacoma restaurant.

Description: Their Classic “Brown Derby” Cobb Salad costs somewhere in the typical $15 range, and is worth every penny. Freshness is definitely not questioned, and originality shows up in perfect portions atop the bed of spring lettuce, such as “Oregonzola” cheese and chunks (not crumbles) of warm apple-smoked bacon. The avocado-ranch dressing lightly coats each leaf, not clumping or drowning anywhere â€" and the real grilled chicken is strung apart, not chopped. Sliced avocado, tomato, and boiled egg sit gingerly aside my salad and are included in almost every bite.

Taste: Parts are flavorful and robust, yet light as a salad should be. The avocado-ranch dressing is a perfect tangy-sweet accompaniment. It wasn’t too sweet as to drown out the natural flavors from the apple-smoked bacon and roasted chicken, yet was noticeable in every other bite. Nothing was too overpowering, and no topping was pushed to the side left unfinished.

Conclusion: Awesome. I polished the whole damn thing off. If only I wasn’t in public, I would’ve licked the plate. Not that it’s ever stopped me before, but recently I’ve learned to restrain from licking objects owned by others. Like I need another arrest.

Dressing on the side
If I sound like a salad snob, it’s because I am. I’m not proud of it, but I will definitely own up to the label. The Weekly Volcano pays me for being a salad snob, so that makes owning up to the label a little easier. They may only pay me in leftover Halloween candy, but at least it’s something. Nothing says, “I appreciate you” more than a rejected mini Milky Way from the trick-or-treat bag of some unsuspecting 5-year-old brat.

[Pacific Grill, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.3535]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

BRAD ALLEN: NOW BOARDING AT MATADOR >>>

I've passed the "New Tequila Flights" sign outside the Matador several times this past month - but somehow, I'd never made it inside for the new ride. Since the bar lists more than 100 tequilas, I felt compelled to try the Anejo flight of Don Julio, Gran Centenario and Amate tequilas ($24, with four other tequila flights available) served on a wooden paddle - very similar to the one Neidermeyer used on Chip Diller in Animal House - with a chaser of red sangrita.

Nice.

I do think 100 tequilas is too many. Fifth tequilas is too many. Five is too many. In my barroom cosmos, there are only two varieties of the stuff: yellow-death flavor, and the good, clear white plata for when company comes over.

[Matador, 721 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.7100]

LINK: Best of Tacoma noshing and sipping

MATT DRISCOLL: PLEASE JOIN US FOR A HOLIDAY PARTY >>>

What’s better than getting drunk in a bar shaped like a coffee pot in celebration of the holidays?

If you said getting drunk in a bar shaped like a coffee pot in celebration of the holidays with the Weekly Volcano, you’re correct.

This Saturday, Dec. 20, you’re invited to join all of us here at the Weekly Volcano for Rock ‘N’ Carol â€" a Christmas party for all of Tacoma. A bevy of talented bands and musicians from our fair city, including Friskey, Bandolier and Kusikia will gather at Bob’s Java Jive to up the cheer ante with nothing but holiday jingles â€" and combined with plenty of cheesy Christmas sweaters, yuletide greetings and eggnog spiked with booze, the event will make for a holiday season to remember.

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll find a way to be there. This is Christmas in Tacoma.

Here are the details:

What: Rock ‘n’ Carol â€" a Christmas party for all of Tacoma

Where: Bob’s Java Jive

Who: You, plus the Weekly Volcano, plus Bandolier, Friskey, Bumtech, Kusikia, Rising Tides, the Vile Red Falcons, the Syph, You Yell, You Kick and special guests.

When: Saturday, Dec. 20 â€" starting at 8 p.m.

Why: Because it’s going to be awesome

Cost: $5 cover charge goes towards the Jive’s PA fund, but $1 will be subtracted for every can of food you bring, and $1 will be subtracted for wearing garish holiday attire. Translation: it’s free if you bring 4 cans of food and wear a silly sweater with Rudolph on it.

BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP 16 >>>