STEPH DEROSA: YES PLEASE >>>

Brewer’s nights can kiss my ass.  As much as I love a good, thick porter â€" I’ll take a warm, red glass of wine on a chilly night anytime.  Thankfully I can have the best of both worlds whenever I want at The Red Hot.  What’s better is that every first Wednesday of the month the Weekly Volcano sponsors “Wino Wednesdays” at Tacoma’s beloved hot doggery and beer joint.  It’s finally time for Weekly Volcano wine drinkers to invade all things beer and take control of the local drinking situation.  So basically when they think they’re talking about the quintessential, overindulgent wine drinker they’re talking about me.  But you can come too if you want.

Tomorrow night The Red Hot focuses on Kestrel Vinters out of Prosser, Wash.  Here’s the low-down, or down low, or 411, or whatever those youngsters are calling in these days:

Pure Platinum Pinot Grigio (white) and Lady in Red (red) are both 4.75 oz pours for $3 each.  Now that’s a damn good deal for a damn good price if you ask me. 

Here’s how The Red Hot describes these two wines:

Nice.

On top of that, Holiday Lady in Red bottle collectors can walk out with a collector’s edition bottle featuring pin-up girl themed label-art for just $20.  These bottles are specially designed, and definitely fly off the shelves every time they’re around. 

[The Red Hot, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0229]

STEPH DEROSA: SHOPPING AND DRINKING ON SIXTH AVENUE >>>

Is it just me? Or does the word “stimulate” send your mind into a perverted frenzy also? Whenever someone tells me they are going to “stimulate the economy” I automatically imagine them naked and in the throes of shopping foreplay. Well, I’ve definitely got something you can “stimulate” yourself with in more ways than one â€" the Sixth Avenue District of Tacoma.

For not just one, but for every Thursday evening in December from 6-9 p.m. ending Dec. 18, Christmas shoppers can get that genuine “boutique” shopping experience â€" with an added flair. Independent Sixth Avenue businesses including Posh Home, Urban Gourmet, The Shoe Show, Red Line, Jewel Day Spa, and Far & Wide are labeling themselves as “your hip holiday squad” and giving an intimate, fun-filled shopping experience for you to enjoy. Each shop will have holiday-inspired drinks and treats such as chocolate martinis and warm appetizers. Dude, did you just hear me? I said “chocolate” and “martini” in the same sentence. That right there is enough to stimulate me like no other.

So drink like a fish and spend like Donald Trump, I assure you the stimulation will last for more than one evening as you help an independent business and buy local. I’ll even let you in on a savings secret: Stop by one of the aforementioned shops and pick up a 15 percent off coupon. From what I hear, a discount like that for Posh Home is unheard of.

LINK: Directions to Sixth Avenue

LINK: Weekly Volcano’s lifestyle section Fix

MICHAEL SWAN: WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE >>>

My mama was always worried that I'd go off and join the circus. I spent countless hours swinging from the monkey bars. My dream shattered when my jury-rig trapeze contraption ripped from the garage ceiling and smashed the windshield on our 1965 Plymouth Barracuda.

Show over.

I still dream of leaping from the perch, then flying in the knee hang. Unfortunately the only hanging my knees will allow today is against The Brotherhood Lounge’s shuffleboard with a Pabst in hand.

Call it, hell I don’t know what to call it but The Brotherhood will be hosts trapeze artists Wednesday, Dec. 3. The Tallhouse Arts Consortium will be hanging at the hip Olympia bar the first Wednesday of every month. Come join me for a night of acrobatics and aerial dance.

Show on.

[The Brotherhood Lounge, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 8 p.m., no cover but tips are appreciated, 119 Capitol Way N., Olympia, 360.352.4153]

BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP THREE >>>

MICHAEL SWAN: SPEAK LOUDLY AND ORDER PROVOLONE STICKS >>>

Like most people I know, I don’t go to Joeseppi’s Italian Ristorante seeking gastronomic epiphanies. I go for good food, OK wine, and fun atmosphere. If I walk out with a full belly, a slight buzz, and sides that ache from laughing through dinner, I’m happy. (Something about the ever-present scent of garlic makes me easy to please.)

Last Sunday afternoon, Joeseppi’s appeared to be just my speed: somewhat frenetic, very loud, and entirely fun. Server Joe M. was amazing â€" quick, funny and professional. Joe also made this statement: “I’ve eaten at many places, and our provolone sticks are by far the best.”

I can’t imagine a life lived without cheese sticks. If I had a dairy allergy, I’d probably just pop some Lactaid and suffer through the ill affects.

Cheese sticks are hard to screw up, but they’re also hard to make memorable. Joeseppi’s five provolone sticks ($7.99) have a great seasoning and were fried just light enough. Joe’s right. They are the best. â€" Michael Swan

[Joeseppi’s Italian Ristorante, 2207 N. Pearl St., Tacoma, 253.761.5555]

STEPH DEROSA: ART WITH AN EXPERIMENTAL SPIN >>>

Finally, the world-renowned, universally anticipated and critically acclaimed Kulture Lab is back! It’s been over a year-and-a-half since this conglomeration of talented populace â€" which was once a monthly event â€" has “exposed the underbelly of Tacoma’s art scene,” as organizer James Hume puts it. Get ready, this Saturday the bitch is back, and Tacoma’s art scene will forever wear the scar of pure, no holds barred, unadulterated madness. Hear me now, Tacoma: You have been warned.

For a fundamental $5 entry fee, Kulture Lab attendees will relish in an indulgent scene of gourmet food, captivating art from more than 19 artists, random performers, local talented bands including Motopony, green fairy dancers, and elbow-rubbing with highbrow and lowbrow folk from all walks of life. I can almost promise you that most, if not all, of the Kulture Lab landscape will be absolutely eclectic and lean toward the politically incorrect. This month’s theme is “Do whatever you do best,” meaning basically “Do whatever you damn well want.” I can dig that, for sure. This theme, my friends, is the founding theme for my employment here at the Weekly Volcano.

Held at The Warehouse, Kulture Lab will be up and running, dominating life’s hypocrisies beginning at 7 p.m. This time ‘round there will be lots of parking, lots of potties (yay!), and a kick-ass smoking area. I’m going to be in HEAVEN.

[The Warehouse, Saturday, Dec. 6, 7-11 p.m., $5, 1114 Court E, downtown Tacoma]

LINK: Photos from Kulture Lab December 2006 event

LINK: Daniel Blue discusses Kulture Lab on Exit133

Pictured: James Hume, of course

RON SWARNER: GREAT DEAL DEPARTMENT >>>

The brain trust over at Sea Grill have devised an economy-defying prix fixe dinner offered Monday through Friday, slick for both palate and wallet. Start the $30 three-course extravaganza by diving into Sea Grill chowder or Caesar salad before moving on to sautéed prawns, salmon piccata or beef tenderloin and finishing with French vanilla crème brûlée or a dark chocolate Grenache. You can afford good food AND electricity this month? What a country.

[Sea Grill, 1498 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272-5656]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

MICHAEL SWAN: BE A PART OF THE COMMUNITY >>>

DEC. 4
PARKLAND/TACOMA: Students for Peace weekly meeting to address and promote issues of peace and social justice. It’s open to everyone.
[Pacific Lutheran University, 7-7:45 p.m., free, University Center, 1st Floor hallways, 12180 Park Street S., 253.535.7654]

DEC. 11
TACOMA: Confused about stormwater permits? Who isn’t. The City of Tacoma Surface Water Division will help you through the 2008 Surface Water Management Manual.
[Central Treatment Plant’s Transmission Conference Room, 8:30-11:30 a.m., 2201 Portland Ave., Tacoma, 253.502.2105]

DOWNTOWN TACOMA: The Pierce County Planning and Land Use Services Department and City of Tacoma Community and Economic Development Department host a Short Course on Local Planning for citizens. Topics to be covered include: 1) the Legal Basis of Planning, 2) Comprehensive Planning and Implementation, and 3) Historic Preservation Planning. For more information, go here.
[UW Tacoma Campus, 6:30-9:30 p.m., free but RSVP by Dec. 4 to secure spot,  Carwein Auditorium, 1900 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.591.2026]