CHRISTOPHER WOOD: THE GRAND CINEMA ROLLS OUT POSTER SALE >>>

Yesterday the dawn of Christmas felt so comfortably distant. Today you regret cowering under the bed covers during Black Friday’s running of the bullheaded consumers. Now, with just over two weeks left until wrapping paper starts flying, you kick yourself for postponing the inevitable.

Maybe The Grand can rescue you from these yuletide doldrums. Saturday, Dec. 13, the theater will roll out its second annual poster sale. From Across the Universe to Youth Without Youth, the event offers more than 450 movie titles at $15 apiece.

“We just have these posters lying around,” explains Emily Alm, The Grand’s communications director. “So (this sale) is a way to help the community appreciate films even more.”

A poster will excite those bored with receiving DVDs every year. Says Alm, “Many of them are very artistic and … visually pleasing displays in your home or your office.” As an added bonus, adorning one’s living room with a life-sized ad for some obscure foreign flick grants “film snob” privileges to its owner.

The Grand also plans to sell authentic movie trailers for 50 cents. Don’t own a 35mm projector? Not to worry; previous buyers have used the film stock in wreaths and scrapbooks.

As for myself, I have my eye on the No Country for Old Men poster. The sale goes from 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. â€" see you there, friend-o.                      

[The Grand Cinema, 606 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

STEPH DEROSA: I SPENT THE WEEK THERE LAST NIGHT >>>

Last night Mr. DeRosa, Gayle Selden and I took a night out on the Tacoma town.  Eventually we met up with The KAke, Pappi, Natasha, and Jennifer Johnson, but before all the hoopla began we started our night out at Cork! A Wine Bar.  This week’s Dinner with DeRosa will include a yummy serving of Cork!’s flatbread.  It was a perfect snack to begin our night and paired well with or Whitman wine from Walla Walla.  (Keepin’ it local, yo.)

While my guests this week snack on the flatbread, we’ll enjoy the sounds of local band 17 Queens â€" just as we did last night at Cork!  17 Queens reminded me of a raw, acoustic, new millennium Bob Dylan, with folk undertones and a slight hint of bluegrass.  In addition to this imaginary online dinner, you can catch 17 Queens live at Cork! Jan. 10, 2009.  Did I just say 2009?  DANG this year flew by.

My first guest, and someone else we met last night at Kulture Lab, is Joel.  I’ve mentioned before how much I loathe the whole “Got___?” bullshit, but this shirt I couldn’t refuse.  I even had to get a picture next to the shirt â€" that’s how much I liked it.  It’s no secret; I’m a fan of porn.  Specifically, I enjoy non-rehearsed amateur porn.  The more staged it is, the less I care to watch.

Second guest this week is Chef Jaron Witsoe from Mandolin Café.  You may know Chef Jaron from Sofia Bistro, which closed this past weekend, but he is still cranking out the delectable pastries at Mandolin Café.  At least for the next couple of weeks he is.  He’s been hired by Jeff Bishop at the (hopefully) soon to open Merende on Pacific Avenue.

I met Chef Jaron as he instructed some of Tacoma’s finest locals (including myself) at one of Urban Gourmet’s many incredible cooking classes. I highly recommend Urban Gourmet's cooking classes.  They're fun, educational, and entertaining.  Plus they keep the wine flowing, so that’s a BIG bonus in my book.

My next guest this week is Morgan Hepfer from Crossfit Tacoma.  Crossfit is a high energy, strength and endurance workout program that has now become a gym.  This new “gym” has no mirrors, no TVs, and no music.  There is, however, a personal trainer on site and an area for your child to chill while you work out.  Everyone is given a different workout everyday and you’re only measurement of success is yourself.  I love the Crossfit idea.  Located on South Fourth and Fawcett, you should go check it out and fall in love too.

Damn I’m tired.  Seriously, I’m about to pass out cold.

So you know what?  I had a couple of other guests to invite this week, but I’m just too frackin’ beat up after last night’s Cork!/ Red Hot/ Kulture Lab/ Tempest evening with the gang.  So instead of hurting my brain any more than necessary, I’m going to just stop here.  I will leave you with this YouTube video of a shrimp running on a treadmill to the Benny Hill theme.  Dude, you can put anything to the tune of Benny Hill theme and hilarity will surely ensue.

Mangiamo

SUZY STUMP: BANDITO BETTY LOU WHO LEAP EIGHT >>>

Serious air today!

STEPH DEROSA: THANKFULLY I'M SKIPPING THIS YEAR >>>

I LOVE to bake. Am I good at it? Not really. I just like to give the stuff away and make people happy with food.

Last year it did not bake cookies. I had rotator cuff surgery, and the arm did not stir anything through the holiday season.

So what did I do?

I bought cookies! In fact, I bought one a day until Christmas. Here’s the deal though: I visited local bakeries.

Check out my cookie posts from last year here. They're still tasty.

JAKE DE PAUL: SWEET TASTING TUESDAY >>>

Among the discerning with a sweet tooth, the quest for chocolate is a perfect obsession, with three of the classic gourmet’s favorite factors at play: 1) there’s a lot to know about chocolate, so you can impress both friends and wanna-bes with your erudition; 2) it’s an artisanal product; 3) one piece of great chocolate tastes like six years in paradise. The fourth factor, the health benefits, make you feel virtuous and smart as hell, but that’s just the frosting on the cake (or the filling in the handmade truffle). Do the cocoa beans come from Java or Madagascar, or are they second-string cocoa beans from the Ivory Coast? Has someone played nasty with the recipe, nicking off the cocoa butter and replacing it with butter-flavored Soya oil?

Find out tomorrow night.

Urban Gourmet still has seats available for its professional Gourmet Chocolate & Wine Tasting tomorrow night. The Sixth Avenue store will offer 10 international chocolates paired with wines.

Reserve your spot now. All your obsessions with chocolate can be fulfilled in one night.

[Urban Gourmet, Tuesday, Dec. 9. 6 p.m., $45, 2602 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.3111]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

STEPH DEROSA: I LOVE EVERY MONTH >>>

It’s raining MEN! Hallelujah! Forget that sucky drizzle rain we’re used to, let it rain MEN! Well, maybe not the men with man boobs (moobs), and definitely not the ones with back shag. Not that I’d kick a guy out of bed for those things, but if it’s going to rain men I’m least likely to get hit by a moob if the men are just plain ol’ hot men.

This Friday, Dec. 12, the fine people of The Mix are stripping off their raincoats and stashing their umbrellas as firemen of the 2009 WSCFF Burn Foundation Firefighter Calendar make an appearance. From 7:30 to 11 p.m. at least seven of the 12 delectable, shirtless, muscular, ohmyGodI’mgettingsoexcited firemen will be present and ready to sign their 2009 WSCFF calendars. For this event you’ll need: Money for drinks, $15 for a calendar, and an extra change of undies. Just in case your first ones get wet. What? From the rain, you pervert!

[The Mix, Friday, Dec. 12, 7:30-11 p.m., no cover, 635 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.4327]

RON SWARNER: ART IN MANY FORMS >>>

Weekly Volcano film critic Christopher Wood and his Lightyear Video crew filmed Saturday night's Kulture Lab event at The Warehouse in downtown Tacoma.

I can't believe we didn't capture organizer James Hume in any of the photos or videos we posted. Hume wore a lovely smoking jacket. Sorry James.

LINK: Weekly Volcano's Video Hot Spot

STEPH DEROSA: FACING FACEBOOK >>>

My MySpace page is in existence purely for Tacoma. It’s where I keep tabs on all the local music, bars, restaurants, and events. My friends? Yeah, they’re on there. Some of them are, at least. I keep in touch with the friends I want to keep in touch with through other means besides MySpace. I think sending MySpace messages when you know me well enough to have my phone number is extremely “high school.” Hell, even Chris from The Red Hot is not shy about calling me with the latest beer scoop.

And then there’s Facebook. I resisted this cyberworld for a looooooong time. I honestly don’t have time for another unnecessary distraction. And from what I’ve seen, Facebook is stalkerazi city. Something’s seriously wrong with a site that tells you every move your friends are making. EVERY MOVE. I was scared of anything I did being mis-interpreted or mis-read. Well, as you can see, I’ve clearly overcome that fear. Hell, I write a column involving public shitters for Christ’s sake.

This week I sat in my own bathroom and thought about Facebook. Check out my thoughts on the Weekly Volcano Web site.

LINK: Weekly Volcano on Facebook