MATT DRISCOLL: BRITNEY AND THE CIRCUS ARE COMING >>>

For all of you out there who love starring at gruesome automobile accidents hoping to spot blood or a severed limb, the biggest human train-wreck of the last 10 years â€" Britney Spears â€" will be playing the Tacoma Dome early next year. We just received the news here at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters that "The Circus Starring Britney Spears" (apparently this is what the great Starbuck's guzzling minds behind Spears have decided to call her first tour in 5 years â€" naming it after the queen of pop drama's new record) will be hitting town on Thursday, April 9. The $35 to $96 tickets will go on sale through Ticketmaster this Saturday, Dec. 6 at 10 a.m. The Pussycat Dolls will open.

Something tells me Suzy Stump is already in line.

This calls for a photo montage.