March 6, 2009 at 1:03pm
March 6, 2009 at 1:04pm
JOE MALIK: BORED AS HELL, AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE >>>
So I’m bored as hell. One of the best parts, and the worst, of being unemployed is having lots and of time on your hands. Being broke really limits your daytime activities. So I’ve compiled a short list of things you can do for free, along with estimates of just how much time you can eat up while doing them. Please feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments section below.
Root through your neighbors’ trash
30 minutes to an hour
You can learn a lot about your neighbors by sifting through their garbage. While they’re at work, put on some heavy leather gloves and go junk spelunking. Technically, it’s legal. This exercise often produces fodder for another fun activity â€" blackmailing someone. If you’re desperately broke, find a neighbor with a nice nuclear family, and look for porn in their trash. Offer to keep quiet about their tranny mags in exchange for cash.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in a British accent
Fun for about a half hour
Watching daytime TV is hell. But repeating everything that Tyra Banks says in a thick cockney accent is fun. For about 30 minutes.
Prank phone calls
Two or three hours, easy
Fuck all that “You better go catch your refrigerator†nonsense. Vulgarity is too quick and too easy. Instead, see how long you can keep them on the phone. Call evil businesses (McDonalds, Target, Nordstrom) and pretend you’re an old man or woman with a complaint. No one hangs up on a distressed senior citizen. Also, tormenting people with jobs will make you feel better.
Burn things with a magnifying glass
Potentially a couple days
Skip the ants, ‘cause that’s just cruel. Try burning a person you know, or someone you don’t like. This can be tricky. But it’s a great personal challenge, and it takes a lot of time to plan and execute.
Scratch
Depends on where you scratch
Go ahead, try it. Feels good right? Be careful where you scratch in public.
Make a buzzing noise
This one can be habit forming- limit to a couple hours
Remember the scene in Breakfast Club where the brat pack crew emitted a rotating, low level hum to mess with the mind of Principal Vernon? Do that, but do it by yourself. If you have unemployed friends, bring them along. This is especially fun in places where everyone is quiet â€" libraries, internet cafes, dentist offices.
Show the world to a dog or cat
This usually lasts longer with a small dog or cat - Twenty minutes to an hour
Most small pets never get to see the world from a human altitude. Your pet has probably never seen the tops shelf of the refrigerator, what you keep on your desk, or what’s inside that bowl on the kitchen table. Imagine what your pet is thinking as you perform this one.
Prepare for the Apocalypse
This one can take weeks
Stock up for the end of the world. Stack bottled water, canned food, seeds, fertilizer, weapons, extra socks, weed, PBR â€" whatever you think you’ll need to get through the end times. Imagine that one day, when it all goes down, you’ll finally be special â€" ‘cause you were prepared, and all those dumbasses who were enjoying their lives weren’t.
March 6, 2009 at 2:12pm
STEPH DEROSA: SLOW BURN >>>
Reyna's Mexican Restaurant
Price: $8.95-$10.95
Burn Factor: One out of four Molotov cocktails
Family owned by Reyna and Felix Guzman, Reyna’s Mexican Restaurant holds true to what a family restaurant should be. Reyna herself greets you at the door and helps you decide what to pick from the menu. After indulging in their homemade salsa, Felix makes his way out of the kitchen, pulls a chair up to you table, and asks you how your day’s been. It doesn’t take more than a few visits to really feel as though you are part of their family.
As Reyna looked over my menu, I asked her if she had anything spicy. “Like, really, really spicy,†I said. She thought about it and answered, “Not anything really, really spicy. But pick what you want and we’ll put lots of jalapeños in it,†she suggested.
Right on, Reyna. I can definitely do that.
My chicken quesadilla came out warm, thick, and chocked full of those damn pickled jalapeños I love so much. Those little suckers are on my list of top five favorite pickled food items. Yes, such a list exists. Don’t laugh.
While typically I would stack large amounts of pickled jalapeños on top of any burger or nacho chip I bite into, they don’t necessarily burn my mouth or make me go into frantic salivary convulsions. For this, I chose to give this dish a lower rating on my spicy scale. Yummy quesadillas, but not very spicy at all.
Love ya, Guzman family!
[Reyna's Mexican Restaurant, 411 Garfield St., Parkland, 253.538.2368]
March 6, 2009 at 3:00pm
WEEKLY VOLCANO: TGIF! >>>
Friday means it's time for yet another record review from the fine staff of KUPS, 90.1 The Sound.
Of course, at the Weekly Volcano, Friday also means it's time for office body shots and naked text messaging - but we won't get into that.
Today, KUPS staffer Ian Gowing reviews Marco Benevento's Me Not Me.
You can find that review by clicking here.
March 6, 2009 at 3:17pm
March 6, 2009 at 4:00pm
MICHAEL SWAN: PAPPI SWARNER'S JUKEBOX >>>
You know the drill. Every Friday, after 4 p.m., when workday decorum is thrown out, Weekly Volcano publisher Pappi Swarner cranks his computer speakers up to 11 and plays ‘70s pop off YouTube throughout the office. When it stops, we know he has left the building.
Knowing Pappi, I assume the SUNNY day triggered memories of his childhood sessions in front of Sonny & Cher â€" that’s what he’s cranking right now. First it was the “Beat Goes On,†which sent the news team out the door. Then it was “All I Ever Need Is You,†which cleared The Steno Pool. “Half-Breed†sent our intern home (didn’t know). Now Pappi is looping “I Got You Babe.†I see Steph DeRosa frantically downing her Xanax/vodka potion and headed for the door.
March 7, 2009 at 7:47am
TONY ENGELHART: COME TOGETHER IN OLD TOWN >>>
Jazz and wine go together like peanut butter and jelly on Wonder Bread â€" so it only makes sense to have a festival featuring this dynamic duo. Now in its sixth year, Old Town Jazz & Wine Festival has featured some of the finest regional musicians and wineries, all in an effort to support the Tacoma Old Town Park Performance Stage Project â€" which aims to build a permanent outdoor stage in Old Town Park. This year the festival presents two popular jazz ensembles: Pearl Django and Malibu Manouche. The wineries are nothing to sneeze at as favorites such as Walter Dacon, Stinas Cellars and Marchetti Wines will all be offering up some of boldest Cabernet Sauvignons and some of the sweetest White Rieslings in the state.
[Slavonian Hall, 5 p.m., $30 tickets available at Ted Brown Music, The Spar, Metropolitan Market, 2306 N. 30th St., Tacoma, oldtownbusinessdistrict. com]
March 7, 2009 at 8:02am
JOSE S. GUTIERREZ JR.: BODY-MOVIN', SOUL GROOVIN' >>>
Gazing upon beautiful songstresses who have the ability to capture a crowd’s attention and move them out of their seats and onto the dance floor is a rare gift in the day of “everybody wanting to be an entertainer.†Fortunately, J. Ross Parrelli is one of the remaining artists that delivers a body-movin’, soul-groovin’ show. The Long Beach, Calif.-based Parrelli will visit Olympia with live instrumentalist and producer Pale Soul of Portland, Ore., on deck at the Eastside Club Tavern in downtown Olympia. Parrelli dropped her critically acclaimed, Soooul Full Mixed Jams in late 2008 â€" an album that speaks to love, loss and female liberation without being preachy and corny. Boston-to-Olympia transplant and fellow female MC, Asliani, who recently dropped her debut, You Do Or You Don’t, opens.
[Eastside Club Tavern, with Asliani, 9 p.m., 410 E. Fourth Ave., Olympia, 360.357.9985]
March 7, 2009 at 8:09am
BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>
Tacoma City Manager Eric Anderson avoids placement in the Weekly Volcano's Numbered Spaces column. He's the best.
A 32-year-old Alfonso Ibanez Martinez has been convicted in Tacoma of heroin trafficking charges after more than 46 pounds of heroin was found in his home. "I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a story. Hell, memoirs are in. Especially wicked and outrageous ones like mine. After all, life is nasty and brutal and short, right?" Martinez did not say.
Just in case you didn't see it, CNN.com decided to remind American's about the current economic crisis and highlight the importance of family in its latest cream-filled puff piece.
Apparently M.I.A. is trying her best to ensure that her child gets shoved in a school locker. The name of her baby boy â€" Ickett.
If your looking for a place get naked this spring break, here's a list of the top ten places to go nude.
Bobble Tiki has said it before, but he loves sandwiches. Not as much as the folks at Scanwich, though, because Bobble Tiki has never scanned his lunch before.
March 7, 2009 at 8:13am
CHUCK DULA: GOOD STUFF ON TAP AT NEW FRONTIER >>>
It isn’t often that you can go to a show and see a band at the genesis of a fairly prolific career. That is what awaits you Saturday at The New Frontier. Red Jacket Mine, fronted by the silky smooth vocals of Lincoln Barr, has created a darker American sound that they describe as twilit pop. Complete with steel guitars, crunchy drums, and a guitar than often soars into beauteous oblivion, this band will satisfy the country-pop hipster post-rock scallywag in anyone. Opening band, Friday Mile, is highly influenced by Tom Petty. Ultra opening band, Friskey, led by the extremely talented Kyle Brunette, will leave you humming catchy tunes about a woman burning dinner. Happy Trails.
[The New Frontier, 9 p.m., $5, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020]
PHOTO: Myspace/Seth Wonner
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Thanks for posting! But I want say that Walkie Talkies are really required while organizing fun...
Really nice album. I have already purchased Vedder's Album. Listening to the song of this album,...
about Eddie Vedder’s "Ukulele Songs" available today - and I don’t hold a candle to that shit
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about Eddie Vedder’s "Ukulele Songs" available today - and I don’t hold a candle to that shit
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about 5 Things To Do Today: Art Chantry, DIY home improvement, "A Shot In The Dark" ...
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