STEPH DEROSA: HOOKED ON A FEELING >>>

We’re in Tacoma, damnit!  Not Seattle! 

The audience today at the 1 p.m. Pantages Theater taping of popular NBC television show America’s Got Talent had no problem getting that point across to host Nick Cannon. It was (almost) unanimously agreed upon that the taping should from then on be referred to as “Here in Washington state.”  It seemed to make everyone happy, as we here in Tacoma have our pride, and were not about to let him say, “Sure is good to be here in SEATTLE.” 

But that soon became neither here nor there as Bandito Betty and I witnessed talented individual after talented individual declare that they were, in fact, from Idaho.  Our Tacoma pride bubbles were eventually busted.

Before we had found our front row balcony seats, we had been in a line outside Pantages doors that seemed to stretch from here to Idaho, with no end in sight.  Fortunately for me, Bandito Betty and her charming personality got us the hook up where we were escorted over to an elite group of people who would be in the background shot of David Hasselhoff getting out of his town car on Broadway.  Big ups to Brenden for showing his chivalry and allowing us to stand front and center of all his fellow military brothers.

Inside, after at least a 45-minute wait in our awesome seats â€" the talents, so to speak, began taking the stage.  First victim to the throws of judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and David Hasselhoff was a familiar bacon snout from my days of emceeing at Tacoma’s New Year’s Eve celebration: First Night. It was Valentine’s Pigs, and they were damn cute.  Unfortunately they did not make the cut, which would’ve sent them to the next talent round to be held in Las Vegas.

Of those very few and fortunate to be passed on to the next Las Vegas round were: A 13-year-old comedian, a 49-year-old man whose act involves body manipulation, and a 43-year-old singer.

I’m calling it right now.  I’m calling the winner, and you can quote me on this: This 43-year-old female I mentioned above will go very far, if not WIN the entire million dollar grand prize.  She. Was. Amazing. I literally cried as she expressed her love for singing, but that her physical disability had held her back from attempting to reach her dream of stardom.  Once applying for a position on a cruise ship, she had been turned away before even opening her mouth.  She was judged by this cruise line solely on her looks.  Shame on you, non-specific cruise line!  This girl will go very far in the competition, mark my words.

Later in the show, one of the funniest and most original acts took the neon stage as a young man and his guitar introduced what would be referred to as “A love song for a crush I think just about everyone’s had.”  The song was about a man’s love for The Hoff, and it was hilarious.  Piers Morgan passed him through just to get Hasselhoff’s goat.  Brilliant.

I have no idea when this episode will be aired, but look for Bandito and me, we’re the only ones there who wore sweatshirts and no make up.  Guess we forgot to read the fine print that said: “nice evening attire.”  But then, yelling at Nick Cannon “Take off your shirt!” wouldn’t have seemed as trashy as we wanted it to be.  Nice evening attire?  I don’t think so.