OWEN TAYLOR: THE DREAM IS ALWAYS THE SAME >>>

After escaping from a man named Robert Dobbs that says he has free Sounders tickets but really just wants to hijack a train, I weave through the dusk and alleys and end up coming out right into the backstage loading area of the Tacoma Dome precisely as my old child star friend Britney Spears disembarks her tour bus.

The synchronicity! Me, fresh from a train wreck and on the lam from the law, missing a pant leg and covered in engine grease. Her, fresh from the train wreck of celebrity, barely in compliance with the law, missing some dignity along with clothing and covered in “Stage-Sheen.”

“Nanner puss!” I yell, “It's me! Giggle drops!”

She, of course, freezes mid stride, her silver bedazzled fringe armbands coming to a slow motion halt. All becomes golden flowing wheat fields and sunrays, complete with dramatic changes of costumes as we gallop through the parking lot toward one another. Former child stars reuniting in the most unlikely of places. Not rehab.

When at last we reach each other, our embrace becomes intergalactic. All of a sudden she is wearing a jet pack, and we rocket off around the Tacoma Dome into the sky, our little space bubbled heads to the cosmos and the imminent worlds of possibility. From somewhere deep in the receding shot a Pepsi logo would fly in, and the moon would wink.

LINK: What Britney Spears is most likely doing right now