STEPH DEROSA: SLOW BURN >>>

Szechwan Chicken
Tea House â€" B & I Marketplace
Price: $5.45
Burn Factor: Three our of four Molotov cocktails

Mr. DeRosa laughed after I told him I was headed to B&I Marketplace.  I had been intrigued about the housed flea-market-type establishment after a friend informed me it’s where she purchased her beautiful clip-in hair extensions made out of REAL hair.  Being the type to constantly seek instant gratification (and the type to do whatever Mr. DeRosa laughs at), I hauled ass to Lakewood in search of clip-in hair extensions.

What advice did Mr. DeRosa have for me before I left?  Just don’t eat there.  (Oh, you know this meant I had to eat there.)

Amongst my options inside B&I’s food court were Taz Pizza, King’s Burgers, Tacoma’s Own Cheesesteaks, and El 7 Mares serving cow goiter and tongue.  I opted for the safe option, and the one with the longest line: Tea House.  Being a teriyaki joint, they had to have something spicy â€" like Szechwan Chicken.  I asked them to make it as hot as possible, found my seat in the food court, and my instant gratification-seeking ass sat and waited.

They serve entrees in barely closed to-go boxes that were busting open with stir-fried contents.  As I lifted the lid, my face caught a steamy whiff of chili sauce making my eyes water and my nose tingle.  Liberally doused in this red chili sauce was celery, bamboo shoots, carrots, green onion, and of course, chicken.  I poked around, fished out the chicken, ate a few carrots, and nabbed some white sticky rice.  It was spicy enough, but not totally kicking my ass.  It could’ve used more fire. 

As I quickly filled up, I closed my to-go box and realized just how convenient it was to have my food already in a to-go box.  Because in about an hour, when I was at home with my hair extensions, after the after-burn from my Szechwan had worn off, I was going to be hungry again.

[Tea House Restaurant, B & I Marketplace, 8718 S. Tacoma Way, Lakewood, 253.581.0880]