SUZY STUMP: PUGET SOUND BEAD FESTIVAL >>>

There is no way in hell you’re going to the Bellevue Bead Festival in November because you are boycotting those bluegrass-stealing bastards.

So now you’re going to go to the Puget Sound Bead Festival at Hotel Murano today through Sunday, just like you’re going to do all that other stuff you can do now that American Idol and Michael Jackson are over. You’re going to the Bead Festival, and you’re going to have the choice of buying gems or beads or silver or minerals or crystals or just saying, the hell with it, and buying some fine jewelry, which you know you’ve wanted to do all along anyway. Haven’t you?

[Hotel Murano Bicentennial Pavilion, July 10-12, 1320 Broadway Plaza, Tacoma]