MICHAEL SWAN: TIME TO COME CLEAN >>>

The Pierce County Library is one of the only concrete examples of man's capacity to exhibit good will. Things are borrowed for free and taken home where they become susceptible to unforeseen dangers like Dairy Queen Blizzard knockovers, horsefly squashings, random, surprisingly literate purse snatchers, Russell Crowe drop-in visits, your dog Maul-y Ringwald’s afternoon project and countless other perils. Yet, somehow, inexplicably, the vast majority of Pierce County residents manage to treat their borrowed goods with care and return them intact, often at the deadline proscribed.

And then there are those who don't.

For those of you still holding a woefully overdue copy of So You're Going to Have Brain Surgery, the Pierce County Library takes pity this October. The library will be offering amnesty Oct. 4-10. This means overdue materials â€" books, movies, music, audiobooks â€" can be returned, no questions asked, and late fees will be forgiven. Naturally, some restrictions apply.

The event is being promoted along with the library’s third annual card drive, Thursday, Oct. 1 through Saturday, Oct. 31.

So, bring back that Basic Instinct 2 DVD. There’s one person on the waiting list... and his name rhymes with Smichael Lawn.