MATT DRISCOLL: SOUTH SOUTH GUIDE TO BARGAIN GRUB >>>

It seems things are finally swinging my direction. The timing couldn’t be better.

For the longest time, since well before I became the editor of this fine rag, I’ve been the foodie laughing stock at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. That bitch Suzy Stump doesn’t even wait until I’ve left the room. She just stands there, pointing and cracking up, as I contently microwave my Red Baron French Bread Pizza for the 47th day in a row. Fucking Suzy Stump.

Then there’s Publisher Pappi Swarner, original editor of the Volcano, the man who created this beast.  He’s still around, of course â€" he just focuses on the Internet side of the operation these days. For those of you that aren’t very tech-savvy, that just means he wears flip-flops on a fairly regular basis and Twitters a lot â€" but his influence is still felt strongly. While Pappi Swarner has a taste for all the finer things in life, is well versed in the art of dining, often brings leftovers to work in his refrigerated lunchbox that are more exotic than anything I’ve eaten in the last four and a half years, and is the kind of guy that orders croissants when it’s his turn to rule donut day, I roll at the other end of the spectrum.

I know all 12 flavors of Pillsbury Toaster Strudels. And if the world suddenly got turned on its ear and we were all forced to eat bacon cheeseburgers and waffle fries for the rest of eternity, well, I could totally deal with that.

I dine cheap.

And this, friends, is my very first restaurant guide as editor of the Weekly Volcano. It should come as no surprise that the focus, then, is on dining cheap. I know nothing else. If the prison in Shawshank Redemption were a Shari’s, I’d be the Morgan Freeman character.

But the real beauty lies in the circumstances of this situation. The stars have all aligned. My ascent to editor of the Weekly Volcano just so happened to correspond with the economic crapfest. Just as I took the reigns, things I’ve built myself on â€" like Canadian Bacon sandwiches from Spud’s and feeding myself on pocket change â€" suddenly became a lot cooler.

One of these days that tease Suzy Stump is going to wobble into my office and ask me what to order at the Flying Boots Café. I fucking know it.  How ironic it will be. We will have come full circle.

Dining for less is what it’s all about â€" and the Weekly Volcano’s 2009 Dining on the Cheap Restaurant Guide will help you do it. From Suzy Stump’s trip out in her grandpa’s Buick to invade our area’s fine dining establishments to Rev. Adam McKinney’s “Sandwich Smackdown” â€" the Weekly Volcano has cheapskates like me AND frugal foodies like the rest of you covered.

My time has finally come. I’m going to eat it up.

Pass the A1.