MICHAEL SWAN: TWO OF THE FINEST >>>

Weekly Volcano Publisher Pappi Swarner shared some disturbing news with us - sometime this weekend (most likely Sunday night), his autographed Cheryl Ladd poster was pilfered from his private office restroom. No one seems to have seen the large framed poster make an exit out of the front door, which has led to some speculation that someone actually unscrewed it from the wall above his jetted tub, removed the screen in the bathroom window and lowered the thing onto our back parking lot, kinda like a dumb-ass Thomas Crown Affair.

Pappi claims he's hitting both The Grand Cinema's Annual Movie Poster Sale and the Beautiful Angle 2009 Holiday Party Benefit Sale Saturday in case the master poster thief tries to sell it.

[The Grand Cinema, Saturday, Dec. 5, 10 a.m. to noon, 606 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

[King's Books, Beautiful Angle poster sale, Saturday, Dec. 5, 7 p.m., 218 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.8801]