REV. ADAM MCKINNEY: WHAT YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AND VENUES REALLY WANT THIS YEAR >>>

Come Christmas Day, you needn't get me any presents; all I ask is your presence. (Lie.)

You should direct your attention, instead, to the people who spend all year giving us the gift of music. I speak, of course, of Tacoma's bands and venues - the lifeblood of this town. I've asked several of Tacoma's most prominent faces what they'd put on their wish list, and you'd better listen up.

You might think that showing up at their shows and supporting them would be good enough, but no:

The Nightgowns

Kicking off the largely materialistic requests are the Nightgowns. Laid-back as always, they merely ask for gift certificates to Da Relm, which they deem the "best store at the Tacoma Mall".

Now, gift certificates tend to be looked down upon because, as we all know, it's the thought and effort that goes into the gift that matters. But I let it slide in this case, because venturing into the godforsaken mall to get this gift certificate is effort enough, in my book.

The Drug Purse

The Drug Purse, when asked what the want for Christmas, rattle off an insane list of demands that would make any hostage-taker green with envy. Get a pen and take this down:

Cory Thomas wants his "suboxone prescription refilled and the Insane Clown Posse box-set on VHS".

Tarek Wegner says, "I want the beluga whales at the Point Defiance Zoo to be freed into my love zone. Those things are totally ride-able. Green transportation! I also couldn't complain if I inherited some black licorice filled with Dramamine chewables".

Josh Vega just wants someone to press the record they're currently mixing and give it distribution.

But by the time the talking stick gets passed to bandleader Jason Freet, he tells me they've changed their minds. All they want for Christmas is the latest Danielle Steel novel.

Girl Trouble

If any band is deserving of our lavish showering of gifts and adoration, it's Girl Trouble. Kahuna wants a new fender amp; Bon Von Wheelie wants to complete her (impossibly cool) Scopitone collection; K.P. Kendall wants the Full House DVD box-set, presumably so that he won't waste another minute on his crying; and Dale Phillips wants his stolen equipment back and "ten minutes alone with the guy who stole it".

Now that's Christmas spirit I can get behind.

Collectively, they'd appreciate it if you would buy them a new touring van, as it appears their 1974 model is full of mold. Now's not the time to be pinching pennies, possibly stingy reader. Buy Girl Trouble a van.

Jazzbones

Jazzbones would "like to have a show with Girl Trouble in 2010".

You know what: Who wouldnÃ't? Completely doable, I would imagine. Get on that, Jazzbones and Girl Trouble. Let's make some magic happen!

Hell's Kitchen

Hell's Kitchen proclaims, "All we want for Christmas is Downtown Tacoma!"

I think I can speak on behalf of the Weekly Volcano when I say that we want nothing more than for Hell's Kitchen to fucking conquer downtown at their new digs on Pacific Avenue.

These bands and venues and many others, of course are unequivocally the backbone of Tacoma. They built our music scene from scratch, reenergized it when the times were tough, and generally made this town a cool place to be. Don't you think they deserve their drugs, dorky clothes vouchers, and ICP videotapes? Open your heart, and give a little this holiday season. Show them your appreciation in that monetary kind of way that really shows you care. It's the least you could do.

GEOFF READING: GREEN APPLE QUICK STEP REDUX >>>

It was 1998 at the Showbox. It was Seattle Fest, or some such thing. Twenty bands on two stages playing six songs each. I was playing in Green Apple Quick Step, and we were slotted to finish the evening on the main stage.  The crowd had more than noticeably thinned by the time the band before us went into their last song. Green Apple Quick Step’s Tyler Wilman (singer, and all around crazy motherfucking loose cannon of a front man) took me aside and informed me that we were only going to be playing two full songs. He wasn't interested in playing all six or seven we were scheduled to play, to a less than a quarter full house.

I laughed it off, saying, "How are you going to make that happen?"

The first band I ever played in was called Sledge. Sledge was a band from 1988 until sometime in 1990. We shared a couple bills with Inspector Luv and the Ride Me Babies, which would go on to become Green Apple Quick Step. Even back then, the word on" that singer guy, Tyler" was clear. He had an amazing voice, and he was FUCKING CRAZY. He was like a Tyson fight - you never knew what was going to happen. But something ALWAYS happened. Always.

Before I joined GAQS I watched in awe, as he climbed atop the speakers at the Fenix, and as an exclamation point the band’s last song dove eight feet straight into the drum set, toppling the whole thing - drummer included. This, as one might expect, caused him to impale himself on a cymbal stand - enough to open a huge gash on his person. But like any good illusionist, it’s only great if you can show ‘em how you did it, so Tyler goes off stage, duct tapes the gash closed, and goes back out for a demanded encore. It was head shaking brilliance. 

I saw GAQS at the King Kat Theater (again, before my tenure) and half way through the set a guy from the crowd ended up on stage (remember when that wasn't against the law?) and was having second thoughts about his ability to pick a spot in the crowd dense enough to not part like the Red Sea once he jumped. So Tyler starts egging him on. '

“Come on, man! Right here,” he says, pointing to a spot right off the middle of the stage.

Finally, the guy goes to jump...

Right at the last second, Ty takes the microphone cord, lasso style, and almost ropes this guy around the neck - just as he's starting his decent into the crowd. It happened in an instant, and I don't know how many people saw it - but it stuck with me, as a guy willing to cross over the edge, for better or worse, to make sure you got what you paid for.  

So we hit the stage at the Showbox. We've played two songs and it’s feeling pretty damn good. There weren’t a ton of people left at the place (and that’s a pretty big room to be playing in front of 50 people), but it didn’t bother ME. At this point I'd only been in the band for a few months, and I was happy to be playing any show we got.

Not so for the original members. They had had the golden ticket for two full albums. They had tasted success. And REAL success (read: financial stability) seemed to always be just around the corner - if they could keep it all together. But the relationship with their winning lottery ticket in the form of Kelly Curtis Management had begun to show strain, and there was a real, tangible (and as it turns out entirely accurate) feeling that if things didn't happen for them quickly, it might never happen at all. Playing to an almost empty Showbox was not exactly on Tyler's to-do list.

So we break into our third song, and just as I'm thinking, "Ty was just fucking with me. We're going to play all of our songs. This is fun," Tyler starts destroying the stage.  

First to go, the monitors across the front - all ejected from their homes and relocated to the floor. Next the mic stands.  Finally, realizing that nothing he had done so far would have actually prevented us from continuing and completing our seven songs, Tyler grabs the kick drum and rips it out from in front of me, tumbling it across stage. Then he takes the rack tom and cymbal that were on a stand together and splays them out in the opposite direction.

At this point you either join in and show solidarity, or you start a fistfight. I chose the former. I picked up the floor tom and hucked it out and off the front of the stage.

That was, as they say, was that. End of show. Exclamation point.

People were left with their mouths hanging open, wondering what they had just witnessed. I was one of them. 

This Sunday, what I’m referring to as " Green Apple Quick Step, featuring Ty Wilman.... from Green Apple Quick Step " will play a selected few songs from their first two albums at the Showbox Market. It will be the first time these songs have been performed in 12 years.

Drummer Geoff Reading â€" who writes a bi-weekly online column on Fridays for the Weekly Volcano called “Holding Down the 253,” in addition to this weekly Wednesday music column â€" has played music in tons of Northwest bands, including â€" Green Apple Quickstep, New American Shame, Top Heavy Crush and most recently Duff McKagan's LOADED â€" to name but a few. He's toured the world several times over, sharing stages with the likes of Slipknot, The Cult, Buckcherry, Korn, Journey, The Sex Pistols, Nine Inch Nails and on and on. He has called Tacoma home since 2005, and lives in the North End with his wife and son.

MICHAEL SWAN: THURSDAY, DEC. 17, 2009 >>>

1. The film Tony Manero follows a psychotic petty criminal into the depths of his crazed obsession with John Travolta's character in Saturday Night Fever screening at 9 p.m. at the Capitol Theater in Olympia.

2. Third Thursday Artwalk may offer unbelievable deals on amazing pieces of artwork, all while supporting creative souls, from 5-8 p.m. in downtown Tacoma.

3. Make No Little Plans, an art show commemorating the Luzon building, opens at Logical Diagram Gallery from 5-9 p.m.

4. Fantasy Lights, the largest drive-through display of lights in the Northwest, operates from 5:30-9 p.m. in Spanaway Park.

5. Michael Hochstatter’s Documentary Film Night #3 featuring an examination of the commercialization of Christmas in America begins at 6 p.m. in his house at 914 Meade Ave. right off Main Street next to Dairy Freeze in Sumner.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

WEEKLY VOLCANO: WEEKLY VOLCANO FLICKR GROUP >>>

Wild Celtic Rose posted a couple photos from her Saturday holiday light tour through Tacoma on our Flickr Group site. Click here to see her full tour.

LINK: Weekly Volcano’s Flickr Group

LINK: wildcelticrose's photostream

WEEKLY VOLCANO: BECAUSE “SERIES” IS OUR MIDDLE NAME >>>

We're posting a South Sound store window daily through Christmas to give you a quick jolt of holiday spirit. Ho, ho, ho!

On the 17th day of Christmas we drove by: Goldenrod Jewelers.

LINK: Drive-by Holiday history

MICHAEL SWAN: CONCERT ALERT >>>

Yes, Muse frontman Matt Bellamy has a serious Thom Yorke/Jeff Buckley jones, and the British rock trio cops enough Radiohead affectations to make Coldplay and Starsailor seem like Motorhead devotees, but so what? Absolution (2003), Black Holes and Revelations (2006) and The Resistance (2009) are worthy spins, and its current single, “Uprising,” has topped Mediabase’s Alternative Rock chart for 14 consecutive weeks, which is a record.

Muse with special guest Silversun Pickups are headed to Seattle’s KeyArena Friday, April 2 at 7 p.m. Tickets are $29.50, $39.50 and $49.50 â€" which go on sale Saturday, Dec. 19, 10 a.m. at all Ticketmaster outlets.

LINK: Concerts on sale tomorrow

MATT DRISCOLL: TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE >>>

Later this week, Friday and Saturday, to be exact - Colonies will celebrate the release of a debut full-length album, Thirty Thousand, with two record release shows in Tacoma. On Friday, the band will strap it on for those of us with iron livers, playing a show with Canon Canyon, Wheelies and Jason Clackley at The New Frontier that starts at 8 p.m. and will cost you $6 to get into.

Then, on Saturday, Colonies will do it up right for the kids at The Den, playing a gig with Freeze and Fur Coat and Xylophones that starts at 7 p.m. and also costs $6.

A long time ago in a far away place (like, sometime last year, in Ron Swarner's poor, poor condo), the Weekly Volcano reviewed Colonies' debut EP, Sleep Patterns. At the time, we probably said things about the rising indie band like, "Colonies demonstrate they know their way around a loud/soft dynamic better than most," and "Singer Travis Shumate's vocals glide atop cascading walls of on-the-money guitar work and stampeding drums, just as well as they sit beside beautiful silences."

But who knows. We were also probably high.

In preparation for Colonies' two record release shows in Tacoma this week, we caught up with Shumate to get his take on things. This interview will be posted in two parts, with the second portion scheduled to hit Spew on Friday.

WEEKLY VOLCANO: First of all, the natural place to start is with the new record. In 2008 the Weekly Volcano reviewed Sleep Patterns - and we liked what we heard. Where will this new record take us?

TRAVIS SHUMATE: Thirty Thousand is a warmer record. There is more movement and texture.

In addition to being a longer recording (13 songs), there is a greater variety of material. From an acoustic-based Spanish pop song to dark piano-based songs, we didn't refuse any idea based on style. But even though there is a wide variety in the styles of the songs, there is certainly a more cohesive feel based around the overall mood and lyrical themes of the record.

VOLCANO: Readers want to know - Thirty Thousand what?

SHUMATE: This record is based on the Argentine Dirty War from 1976 to 1983. The Argentine military dictatorship took control of the government and carried out atrocious acts of terrorism against its citizenry. Up to 30,000 Argentine citizens were murdered or disappeared. The songs on this record tell different stories from the perspective of the Argentine people in this period of history, with the themes of the album ranging from love and fear to victory and freedom.

VOLCANO: How has the band evolved since Sleep Patterns, and does that show up on Thirty Thousand?

SHUMATE: Since we recorded Sleep Patterns, we have added Ben Wheeler to the band. Ben is an extremely competent musician, and the record illustrates that. From upright bass and clarinet to pump organ and mandolin, Ben's addition to the band has helped solidify the sound we have been searching for.

We have also figured out what we do well as a band. We have worked more on creating a dynamic record with more restraint. South American melodies and rhythms play a larger role in our songs, balancing out the Puget Sound influences that we can't seem to shake.

PHOTO CREDIT: Jaquilyn Shumate Photography

MICHAEL SWAN: FRIDAY, DEC. 18, 2009 >>>

1.If you’re also seeking refuge from the early holiday avalanche, duck into Tacoma Symphony Orchestra’s annual presentation of Handel’s Messiah featuring the TSO Chorus and four soloists at 7:30 p.m. inside St. Charles Borromeo.

2. Magical Strings celebrates 31st joyous year of Celtic yuletide concerts at 7:30 p.m. inside the Urban Grace Church.

3. Ballet Northwest stages its version of The Nutcracker at 7:30 p.m. inside the Washington Center.

4. The Revengers and Faraca throw down at 8 p.m. inside Doyle’s in the name of 3-year-old Alyssa who has acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

5. Jason Diamond spins reggae beginning at 9:30 p.m. inside the Tempest Lounge.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

WEEKLY VOLCANO: BECAUSE “SERIES” IS OUR MIDDLE NAME >>>

We're posting a South Sound store window daily through Christmas to give you a quick jolt of holiday spirit. Ho, ho, ho!

On the 18th day of Christmas we drove by: Victoria Sells Antiques.

LINK: Drive-by Holiday history

RON SWARNER: NEVER TOO EARLY TO DISCUSS BOOZE >>>

Face it: the Great Martini Revival is over, although those splendid silver bullets remain deliciously potent. Then there are cosmopolitans. Sure, they are wildly popular and pretty and tasty, but essentially we're talking girlie libation. Now that the damp is back in the South Sound air, it's time to broaden tastes. Think bourbon. Not neat. No need to go skid row or Hemingway.

Rather, think of the Manhattan.

I stopped by Merende last night after Third Thursday Artwalk for a warmer and a little blues by the Malcolm Clark Band. Bartender Nick suggested a different take on the classic Manhattan â�" the Mike Hoffman version.

2 oz Basil Hayden's bourbon whiskey
1 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz dry vermouth
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
1 dash of maraschino cherry juice/liqueur

Itâ��s a sweetened-up whiskey beverage â�" smooth and balanced â�" served in a martini glass with a maraschino cherry. This spirited take on the Manhattan would impress the most weathered of whiskey drinkers. Stop by for one after shopping this weekend.

[il Trattoria di Merende, 813 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.722.1993]