REV. ADAM MCKINNEY: WHAT YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AND VENUES REALLY WANT THIS YEAR >>>

Come Christmas Day, you needn't get me any presents; all I ask is your presence. (Lie.)

You should direct your attention, instead, to the people who spend all year giving us the gift of music. I speak, of course, of Tacoma's bands and venues - the lifeblood of this town. I've asked several of Tacoma's most prominent faces what they'd put on their wish list, and you'd better listen up.

You might think that showing up at their shows and supporting them would be good enough, but no:

The Nightgowns

Kicking off the largely materialistic requests are the Nightgowns. Laid-back as always, they merely ask for gift certificates to Da Relm, which they deem the "best store at the Tacoma Mall".

Now, gift certificates tend to be looked down upon because, as we all know, it's the thought and effort that goes into the gift that matters. But I let it slide in this case, because venturing into the godforsaken mall to get this gift certificate is effort enough, in my book.

The Drug Purse

The Drug Purse, when asked what the want for Christmas, rattle off an insane list of demands that would make any hostage-taker green with envy. Get a pen and take this down:

Cory Thomas wants his "suboxone prescription refilled and the Insane Clown Posse box-set on VHS".

Tarek Wegner says, "I want the beluga whales at the Point Defiance Zoo to be freed into my love zone. Those things are totally ride-able. Green transportation! I also couldn't complain if I inherited some black licorice filled with Dramamine chewables".

Josh Vega just wants someone to press the record they're currently mixing and give it distribution.

But by the time the talking stick gets passed to bandleader Jason Freet, he tells me they've changed their minds. All they want for Christmas is the latest Danielle Steel novel.

Girl Trouble

If any band is deserving of our lavish showering of gifts and adoration, it's Girl Trouble. Kahuna wants a new fender amp; Bon Von Wheelie wants to complete her (impossibly cool) Scopitone collection; K.P. Kendall wants the Full House DVD box-set, presumably so that he won't waste another minute on his crying; and Dale Phillips wants his stolen equipment back and "ten minutes alone with the guy who stole it".

Now that's Christmas spirit I can get behind.

Collectively, they'd appreciate it if you would buy them a new touring van, as it appears their 1974 model is full of mold. Now's not the time to be pinching pennies, possibly stingy reader. Buy Girl Trouble a van.

Jazzbones

Jazzbones would "like to have a show with Girl Trouble in 2010".

You know what: Who wouldnÃ't? Completely doable, I would imagine. Get on that, Jazzbones and Girl Trouble. Let's make some magic happen!

Hell's Kitchen

Hell's Kitchen proclaims, "All we want for Christmas is Downtown Tacoma!"

I think I can speak on behalf of the Weekly Volcano when I say that we want nothing more than for Hell's Kitchen to fucking conquer downtown at their new digs on Pacific Avenue.

These bands and venues and many others, of course are unequivocally the backbone of Tacoma. They built our music scene from scratch, reenergized it when the times were tough, and generally made this town a cool place to be. Don't you think they deserve their drugs, dorky clothes vouchers, and ICP videotapes? Open your heart, and give a little this holiday season. Show them your appreciation in that monetary kind of way that really shows you care. It's the least you could do.