WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

In Switzerland, people can hire horrifying clowns to stalk their children as a birthday present.

The Library of Congress will archive all of Twitter for future generations. People of the future are going to think we were idiots.

Inmates scam Uncle Sam by filing returns for fake jobs.

Mother Russia doesn't play that. The country formally suspended all American adoptions of Russian children today after a 7-year-old adopted Russian boy was sent back to Moscow alone when the Tennessee mother thought he wasn't well-adjusted.

All these earthquakes are just a coincidence.

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that. Following @Tigers17thmistress on Twitter isn't going to look cool (#holeinone).

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

FRED DURST

We'll be honest. @FredDurst was pretty much the inspiration for Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker. Somehow, and don't ask us how, we ended up following the Limp Bizkit frontman - and it's been nothing but entertainment since. It's like that proverbial, gory-ass, nu-metal car accident you just can't help but gawk at.

Here's another look at what @FredDurst has been up to lately:

March, 24: Fred Durst catches Bieber feaver

"Walking down Sunset Blvd. This is LA. Oh boy." via Twittelator, 9:59 p.m.

April, 8: Fred Durst gushes over his dog, apparently named after a video game

"My boy Halo is just chillin'." via Twittelator, 6:38 p.m.

April, 8: And a little love for Fred's other dog

"And my girl Daisy" via Twittelator, 6:39 p.m.

April, 8: Fred Durst claims he had nothing to do with the questionable bandanas his dogs were sporting

"BTW- those cheesy bandanas were put on by the groomer today. Funny for a minute, but had to trash'em." via Twittelator, 8:28 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of @freddurst

BRINGING THE TACO TRUCK INDOORS >>>

During last month's Weekly Volcano Tournament of Tacos I ruined a pair of slacks, froze, and deposited beef tidbits between my car seat and console. I felt like a circus performer on many occasions - balancing, juggling and acting as if I wore a red wig and a red ball on my nose.

While very tasty, purchasing tacos from taco trucks definitely has its downsides.

Today I ate authentic taco truck style tacos in a seat, inside a warm building, with good music and a beer.

Masa has just added street vendor style tacos to its menu. Small, double white corn tortillas served open faced with seven varieties of smoked, grilled and braised meats and fish.

"I finally added the tacos I always wanted on the Masa menu," explains Masa (and Asado) managing partner John Xitco. We've experimented a while with our tacos - adding this and subtracting that - and I'm finally satisfied with our tacos. They look and tasted like the tacos you find in your typical, good, authentic taco truck. Simple, but good."

Well, not quite. The Masa signature touch still exists: they're beautiful, and certainly not simple.

Read more...

FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2010 >>>

1. The Spring Fair in Puyallup offers exhibits, contests, music and entertainment, activities and more from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.

2. A large group of artists, community activists, freaks, weirdoes and some of the best Tacoma has to offer now meet at noon at Frost Park (Ninth and Commerce in downtown Tacoma for sidewalk art challenges then naming one chalker the "Greatest Illustrator in the Universe (of Tacoma)" every week through online voting on FeedTacoma.com.

3. Thirteen original dance numbers will be performed by the Pacific Lutheran University's School of Arts and Communication - featuring Step, Modern, Ballet and Bollywood - as part of Dance Ensemble at 7:30 p.m. inside the Eastvold Auditorium.

4. California underground punk bands Lopez and the Bar Feeders are playing Hell's Kitchen Friday at 9 p.m. with Neutralboy, The Triple Sixes and Brain Sick. Bobble Tiki has thoughts on the show.

5. The band Facts on File occupy a pretty specific time in music, when people like Television and Talking Heads were on the scene. These bands were creating a brand new sound, but going about it in a roundabout way. They embraced punk to a certain extent, but what they seemed to be striving for was to bring rock ‘n' roll back down to eye-level; they still loved the art form, but rejected the bloat. Facts on File have keyed in on this minimalism. Catch them with Christopher Francis and Son, and Boca A Boca at 10 p.m. inside Le Voyeur.

LINK: New movies open today

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Apocalyptic volcano ash could ground flights in Europe through the weekend forcing Scandinavians to return home and pray to Surtr of the Fire-Giants of Musphel, then sing traditional folk songs and decorate their hearths with flower garlands and pat idyllic smiling blond Danish girls in pigtails and scarves and perfect IKEA teeth on the head.

Campus thong thief caught with 79 pairs of teeny-tiny panties just before he was to enter the Weekly Volcano's Signs of Summer photography contest.

Christian music artist Jennifer Knapp comes out of the closet. Yes, that closet. Expect to hear some minuscule and shrill group set aside its agenda of eliminating kissing and dancing and the color fuchsia in American and start pestering the homophobic nutjobs in Congress to put a halt to this horrifying act.

It's Kareem Abdul Jabbar's birthday!

WE LOVE LISTS >>>

The following are things more popular than the Weekly Volcano's Signs of Summer photo contest, which features fabulous prizes:

KFC Meatwich

Miley Cyrus

Spray-on tans

Rufus

Shopping with Charlie Sheen and Steven Seagal

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that. Following @ThatStupidDudeFromMTVsTheHills on Twitter isn't going to look cool (#braindead).

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

FRED DURST

We'll be honest. @FredDurst was pretty much the inspiration for Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker. Somehow, and don't ask us how, we ended up following the Limp Bizkit frontman - and it's been nothing but entertainment since. It's like that proverbial, gory-ass, nu-metal car accident you just can't help but gawk at.

Here's another look at what @FredDurst has been up to lately:

March, 31: Limp Bizkit is honored in birthday cake form

"Happy Birthday!! Sweet cake!! RT @NIC_DAVIDSON @freddurst http://twitpic.com/1cbgrh look at my birthday day cake!!!" via Twittelator, 10:12 p.m.

April, 7: Fred Durst declines an invitation to get "Facebook raped"

"Whoa! Weird bro RT @justdodgeme @freddurst if I ever came over to your house for dinner I'd make it my main goal to facebookrape you." via Twittelator, 3:27 p.m.

April, 9: Fred Durst makes poor quality videos before Limp Bizkit rehearsal

"At Lethals right now. About to head to rehearsal." via Twittelator, 2:32 p.m.

April, 16: Fred Durst looks for new gaming buddies

"If you want to play some MW2 on XBL my new gamertag is PowersWay LBGC' - I play mornings and late night PST. Helps me relax. See ya there." via Twittelator, 9:54 a.m.

Tune in next week to find out who the Weekly Volcano will Twitter stalk next...

WHAT AN AMAZING DISCOVERY! >>>

Tacoma Art Supply is showing paintings and sculptures by a wonderfully authentic outsider artist, Tyrone Patkoski.

Patkoski is an outsider in the purest sense of the word. He spent the past 20 years as a homeless man living and creating art wherever he could, be it in the back of a car or in a relative's home. He has never studied art and expresses little or no interest in exhibiting or selling his work.

A 59-year-old half-Snoqualmie Indian, Patkoski is self taught and paints mostly in oil, often combining the paint with flotsam found on the streets. The paintings, especially many of his latest works, are densely encrusted with an unimaginable collection of found objects. They are inventive, colorful, and highly personal.

Patkoski's art was discovered and is being promoted by Joan Staokes Baum of the

Tahoma Indian Center Program and photojournalist Casey Madison, who has provided biographical information.

I saw his work yesterday and will review it for my Visual Edge column in the Weekly Volcano April 29. But you should not wait for my review. Go to Tacoma Art Supply now and see this work for yourself. You can also see it online here - but you need to see it in person.

[Tacoma Art Supply, 1552 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.444.2341]

HOW TOMORROW WILL GO DOWN IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Saturday, April 17, is national "Record Store Day," an industry-created "holiday" meant to draw attention to the endangered species of brick-and-mortar record stores, and indie record stores around the South Sound are hosting sales and special events.

Buzzard's CDS, Tapes, Movies & DVDs

I caught Buzzard's owner and Tacoma City Councilmember Marty Campbell just before he left his shop. He says he'll open up the garage door for a huge sale featuring discounted vinyl. Buzzard's just received a bunch of new vinyl. If stacked high, it would be taller than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who celebrates his 63rd birthday today. 1916 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.591.0183

Disc Connection Records & More

The Parkland record store will hold a sale but they are still pondering how much of a discount to offer. They are very excited about their Record Store Day exclusive limited release Moby Grape Live 7-inch featuring "Rounder" recorded live at the Avalon Ballroom, San Francisco, in 1967 and "Sitting by the Window" recorded live at RAI in Amsterdam in 1969. 405 Garfield St. S., Tacoma, 253.539.5632

Drastic Plastic Records

I couldn't reach anybody at the Sixth Avenue location. 3005 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.2886

Golden Oldies Records Tapes

Golden Oldies claims to have the cheapest prices in town noting that other record stores in the area buy from them. However, in celebration of Record Store Day, they will knock 10 to 20 percent off if you mention the WEEKLY VOLCANO. Time to load up on records my friends. 3016 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.581.7947

Hi-Voltage Records

Opened on June 15, 2005 on Sixth Avenue, Hi-Voltage carries more than 20,000 CDs and LPs, new and used. On record Store Day, they will hold a 20 percent off sale, which includes limited edition vinyl. They have Soundgarden's first single "Hunted Down" (1987) reissue in limited quantities. 2612 Sixth Ave., TAcoma, 253.627.4278

House of Records

House of Records (and Turntable Treasures) moved off Sixth Avenue to North Prospect. Their Grand Reopening sale is over, and they don't have a special Record Store Day sale. That said they do have their daily special where a $100 in store receipts gets you $20 in store credit. House of Records has loads and loads of records ranging from Elvis, Pearl Jam, Zimbabwe Tribal, The Atomic Bitchwax, and John Travolta to a sweet selection of reggae favs. 608 N. Prospect, Tacoma, 253.272.9229

Phantom City Records

I couldn't reach anybody at downtown Olympia record store. 302 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.357.6852.

Rainy Day Records

The downtown Olympia record store will knock off 10 percent off all new music (15 percent off if you're a KAOS member) all day Saturday. The store will also host a free 8 p.m. show featuring November Witch, The Maxines, Morgan & The Organ Donors, and Jacket Pocket.

Rocket Records

Owner Steve Gaydich says the band Red Hex will perform live in his Sixth Avenue record store at 3 p.m. and "ending sometime after 4 p.m." He says he's holding a 10 percent sale featuring limited singles from Soundgarden, Moby Grape and others. I would have grabbed more information but his dog jumped up on the counter and licked my face so I left. 3843 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.756.5186

CONCERT ALERT >>>

Ann and Nancy Wilson are coming back to the Puyallup Fair Saturday, Sept. 25. Tickets go on sale Saturday, April 24 at 9 a.m. here. Prices are $60 for Golden Circle, $40 and $25, and include Fair gate admission, and seats are reserved.