The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Larry King

February 15: Celine Dion and Skeletor

"Hold the phone! It's Celine!" via Twitpic, 11:34 a.m.

February 5: The more time we spend looking at Larry King's Twitter account, the more we come to believe he's - quite possibly - the most bizarre motherfucker on the face of the earth.

"@RyanSeacrest says he's going to name his dog after me. Should I help him pick out his new dog?" via Web, 3:41 p.m.

February 4: Boo.

"Courtesy of our friends at Avatar -- what I'd look like as a Na'vi" via TwitPic, 11:58 p.m.

January 6: Tip your waitress, folks...

" Why does Starbucks call a small coffee "tall"? Have you seen those cups? There's really nothing tall about them... " via Web, 11:07 a.m.

Tune in next week for more Twitter stalking action from the Weekly Volcano. As always, if you've got a suggestion for who you'd like to see us Twitter stalk next, let us know.

WIN FABULOUS PRIZES >>>

Hollywood has arrived in the greater Tacoma area, spinning off bits of Avatar-style, virtual reality technology to the world of print. The same brand of special effects that produced the billion-dollar blockbuster movie will be used by architects and engineers to design the Weekly Volcano's Best of Tacoma 2010 issue.

It will be epic.

The Weekly Volcano has spent the past 12 months dining, drinking, rockin' out, sneaking around city hall, and shopping our way across Tacoma, Puyallup, Lakewood, Gig Harbor and the other Pierce County cities - all while wearing 3-D glasses.  That's right, we have viewed the past year through funny-looking glasses.  And we are ready to throw the best of what we discovered right at your face July 29! 

The Best of Tacoma 2010 will be in 3-D. 

Of course, that means you'll need  fancy 3-D glasses to fully enjoy the breathtaking issue. Luckily, we have you covered there too. No need to search through your dresser drawers. We have the glasses, and we'll be handing them out to Volcano readers at events and locations all over the greater Tacoma area in the coming weeks and months. Stay tuned for more 3-D details.

Best of Tacoma Readers' Poll

Once again, the Volcano's readers' poll will be the engine that drives Best of Tacoma 2010. Think you know the best band, restaurant, politician, blog or thrift store? Want to help spread the word about the best bike shop, make-out spot or bar in our area? Cast your vote here. The results of our ultra-scientific survey will be published in the Weekly Volcano Best of Tacoma issue July 29, 2010.

And yes, we did say "our area" - as in Pierce County, not just T-Town. In a shocking turn of events, we've opened up the voting to all of Pierce County this year. You'll get the same Grit-City-style coverage you've come to expect from the Volcano Best of Tacoma, but our Best Of readers' poll net will be cast even further. It should make for some interesting competitions.  If you say the best restaurant is in Gig Harbor, so be it. If the best villain is in Lakewood, then vote it so.

THE PRIZE!

All ballots must be received by Wednesday, June 30 at 5 p.m. Those that arrive before the deadline will be eligible to win a $200 gift certificate to El Gaucho restaurant and a night at the Hotel Murano. The winning ballot will be chose at random. We'll announce the winner of our random drawing, as well as the winners of this survey at the Best of Tacoma Premiere Party Wednesday, July 28 at Masa restaurant on Sixth Avenue.

OK, enough blabbering. Cast your vote here.

The Best of Tacoma 2010 is sponsored by Click Cable TV.

CALL TO ARTISTS >>>

The Museum of Glass is seeking entries for its first-ever juried art auction.  The auction will take place on Saturday, September 11, 2010 during the Museum's annual Red Hot Party and Auction fundraiser.  Entries must be submitted no later than June 2, 2010.

For more information or to enter the contest, click here. 

SHOPPING CART BEAT >>>

Megan Barney, an University of Washington-Tacoma student/detective - who made the Dean's list (woo hoo!) - sent us a lovely letter:

Dear Editor,

A few weeks ago I noticed an interesting sticker affixed to a post in front of the University of Washington-Tacoma campus. The sticker was yellow and depicted a shopping cart with the words "Don't Buy It". I was curious, but didn't think much of it. That is, I didn't think much of it until these carts started popping up all over town--on McDonald's billboards, the old Hell's Kitchen sign, painted on a support column of the 705, on Schuster shortly before Old Town, near the Safeway on Pearl, etc. The more I saw the more curious I became, and I was not alone. No one that I talked to had a clue what the message was behind the carts. Did it have something to do with the ever-present rumors about a downtown grocery? Was it related to recent talk about food carts? Even local graffiti artists were in the dark. Seeing no mention of the carts in the Volcano, I did some digging. It turns out that the carts have nothing to do with being anti-grocery or anti-food cart. They are the product of Don't Buy It Clothing, a few locals who are anti-commercial and selling t-shirts to prove it. Their website, complete with mission statement and shop, can be found at www.dontbuyitclothing.com. I thought other confused Tacomans might appreciate having this mystery explained.

Thanks for the awesome detective work Megan. Your discovery forces the Weekly Volcano to rethink our "T-town Troubled Sweater Vest" line that we intend to market to distressed jeans owners.

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

It's that time again.

Friday, the possibilities are endless, and the promise of two work-free days sits in front of us (assuming you're a nine-to-five, Monday-through-Friday schmo). It doesn't get much better.

Here's this week's Prefunk, a regular guide to preparing you and your liver for the weekend ahead - with a picture of an alcoholic pet thrown in for good measure.

The MAKEDONIANS CD RELEASE

Saturday, May 15

"Kids'll dance, some will fall in love... the rest of us may cry."

So reads the bottom of a recent press release for the Makedonians CD release show, tomorrow evening at The Mandolin Café in Tacoma.

Who doesn't like crying, falling in love, or dancing kids? They go together like peanut butter, jelly and steel wool.

The Makedonians, of course, as the Volcano's Joe Izenman has pointed out in the past, are a revolving group of uber-talented musician with a passion for bringing Mediterranean music to life.

Here's a taste of what Izenman had to say about the band following a performance in early January.

Some 20 years ago, at Chambers Primary School in University Place, at the very beginning of my life as a musician, I was fortunate to be taught by Makedonians bandleader and clarinetist Diz Carroll. A few years later, I had the opportunity to play saxophone with Diz and the Makedonians for a few months - a mediocre middle-schooler surrounded by professionals.

Now, a decade later, Diz's desire to educate and inform continues, whether young or old - anyone with the desire to listen. Throughout the

Makedonians' rollicking, energetic set of traditional Balkan music Saturday night, audience members were treated to lessons in Greek musical geography, five-tone scale harmony (most "western" music uses the seven) and how to count some of the more unusual time signatures, ranging from 5 to 25 beats in a measure.

PREFUNK: The Makedonians new CD, Church House, according to the press release, "captures Efiniki's (Zambaras) singing in the CHURCH HOUSE." It goes on to say, "Don't miss her last concert here, in the coziest café in the South Sound."

Exactly, but before you go - keep this in mind, and plan accordingly. Greece is in the midst of a financial crisis. If the Mandolin will take your Euros for a cup of coffee before the show, take them up on it!

23^rd ANNUAL LACEY SPRING FUN FAIR

Sunday, May 16

Technically, the Lacey Spring Fun Fair kicks off on Saturday, but I say avoid the "crowds", and hit up the annual event Sunday - the big, balloon animal-filled finale. With "arts and crafts, commercial vendors and food concessions," as laceyspringfunfair.com points out, the yearly event - held at St. Martin's University - has the potential to be fun for the "whole family" - though the target demographic certainly seems to be those in Superman/Wonder Woman underoos.

PREFUNK: One hit of helium for you, two hits for the balloon animals. And repeat.

See you next week.

TODAY'S WEATHER IS PERFECT FOR A MISTER TACOMA >>>

Mint is a year-round phenomenon these days, thanks to the mojito madness that has swept bars both swank and modest the last four years. Mint's sweet, earthy flavor is also the perfect addition to cocktails enjoyed during warm weather.

Last night Villa Caffe & Imbibery bartender Jason Alexander slowly muddled mint leaves in the bottom of a pint glass for a drink called "Mister Tacoma." It was as if Alexander was moving in slow motion: grind ... grind ... grind ... for an entire commercial break on the television behind him.

To the mint he added Bombay Sapphire gin, splash of freshly squeezed lime juice, splash of Cointreau, shook and strained it into a martini glass, then crowned it with - what else? - mint ... and a slice of lime. He carefully placed the full $5 drink before me. The variation of the Southern standard Mint Julep was a perfect union of flavors: the gin, the mint, orange and the lime - they were all present without trying to outdo one another.

"Why do you call it Mister Tacoma?" I asked Alexander.

"It's Erik Bjornson's favorite drink," he replied.

"The Tacoma Urbanist?" I shot back.

Alexander looked puzzled.

I explained that Bjornson tackles Tacoma civic issues, as well as critiques coffee, on his Tacoma Urbanist blog. I also explained that he is a friend of the Weekly Volcano and this blog, although back in the day he had called us a good-for-nothing hipster rag - but not in so many words.

"I thought it was only a matter of time before you tracked my drink down," Bjornson wrote me via email.

"Yes, I did introduce the Villa folks to the Gin Julep which was introduced to me a few years ago at Primo Grill (but was never on their menu). My sister and I have perfected the drink over the last 5 years.

"It is fairly challenging to make right. Bartenders generally like the drink but it has gained a cult following at the Villa. One of the reasons is that the owners have both fresh limes AND mint which is difficult to find in Tacoma. Most places want to pour Rose's in it or some other gooey syrup," Bjornson added.

Bjornson has sipped his cocktail at several Tacoma bars. Here is the proof:

Primo Grill, January 2008
 
El Gaucho, June 2008
 
Villa Caffee, April 2010

I tip my hat to the Urbanist on his signature cocktail. It's tasty.

Side note

I asked Alexander - who actually co-owns the Villa Caffe & Imbibery on Market Street with Robyn Murphy - what the dinner special was for the night. He replied spaghetti, which was thrilling news. After he submitted the order to Murphy in the back kitchen, he reappeared to explain he was in big trouble. Apparently, earlier in the day when Alexander asked her what was for dinner, "spaghetti" was actually THEIR dinner they would eventually enjoy upstairs in their residence. "Oh, I'm in big trouble. She's quickly making you spaghetti. It will be out a few minutes," he explained.

Murphy actually made the dish, which was amazing with a spicy - and I mean spicy - red sauce over penne pasta. Hopefully, it will be added to the menu soon.

[Villa Caffe & Imbibery, 1328 Market St., Tacoma, 253.222.4184]

SATURDAY, MAY 15, 2010 >>>

1. The Mix continues its four-day second anniversary celebration with a White Party featuring DJ Shaggy and drink specials at 9 p.m.

2. The Kareem Kandi Band will perform sultry songs typically sung in small, smoky nightclubs in film noir movies at 1:30 p.m. on the second floor of the Tacoma Public Library's Main Branch. Expect a musical journey through the dark, neon-washed streets and alleyways of noir.

3. Proctor Farmers Market will unveil its market-themed mural by Tacoma artist Rachael Dotson at 11 a.m., although the market will open at 9 a.m.

4. Barbara Kopple's celebrated Oscar-winning documentary Harlan Country USA, which chronicles the 1973 year-long miners' strike in Harlan County, Kentucky, will screen at 9 p.m. inside the Capitol Theater.

5. China Davis, Heidi Vladyka, and Brother Scott play a no-cover show beginning at 9 p.m. inside Doyle's Public house.

LINK: More live music and DJs in the Soth Sound

LINK: Concerts that go on sale this morning

LET'S GET SMALL >>>

Performance art in the Tacoma bar scene has typically been one of two things: Neener's Pub mud wrestling or the awkward courting rituals at the end of a Kry show. Jazzbones will add a third category when it hosts Ten Tiny Dances tonight.  For those who haven't caught the buzz, Ten Tiny Dances is a stripped down format where 10 dance artists demonstrate astonishing inventiveness and variety on a 4-foot-by-4-foot stage - or about the size of a coffee table - for 10 minutes each. Dinner and drinks will be served, but heckling and betting will not be allowed. Proceeds benefits MLKBallet.

Ten Tiny Dances

Saturday, May 15, 5 p.m., all ages, $20
Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma
253.396.9169

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Rock: A couple weeks ago, the Weekly Volcano interviewed Cody Foster, he of sideburns and Cody Foster's Army (C.F.A.) fame. At the time, C.F.A. was celebrating the release of their new CD, Smoking Gun, as part of a Hell's Kitchen anniversary show with Zeke. It was the loud and blistering C.F.A. show you'd expect. Well, this week, C.F.A. will take a slightly different route, playing a free acoustic show at Top of Tacoma Bar and Café tonight, and billing it as "Disarmed." Saturday, May 15, 10 p.m., no cover, Top of Tacoma Bar and Café, 3529 McKinley Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.1502 - Bobble Tiki

Experimental Pop: Bellingham, famously, is the birthplace of titanic indie mopesters Death Cab for Cutie. In the years since those hometown boys made good, however, Bellingham has striven to cultivate an offbeat DIY music scene, encompassed by a plethora of rough-hewn genre-benders and the hush-hush house venues they frequent. In spite of - and in the midst of - this atmosphere of underground experimentalism, the pop-minded upstarts in Candysound have already found great success at home and in Washington state at large (they're competitors in this year's Sound Off! Competition). The band revels in their use of familiar indie rock chord progressions, arrangements, and structures, doling out sugary and characteristically Northwestern basement pop with a charming offhandedness. Which is not to say that they're slipshod musicians - quite the opposite: they're an aptly named and promising young band with admirably palatable instincts. With Shenandoah Davis, Saturday, May 15, 8 p.m., all ages, no cover, The Den @ urbanXchange, 1934 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2280 - Jason Baxter

Indie Rock: I tried my best, guys. I tapped on shoulders. I caught up to them in mid-stride. I pulled newspapers down from their faces. Not a single Tacoma citizen seems to know anything about the Squeak and Squawk 2 fundraiser tonight at The New Frontier. When I asked who was set to play, they blew their pipe smoke in my face and said, "Bah!" They were all in on it. Indomitably, I tied a hanky on a stick and set out for answers. Against everyone's vehement advice and wagging fingers, I decided to seek out the elusive Sean Alexander, founder of Squeak and Squawk. I found him on his porch, wrapped in the hide of a black bear, smoking a pipe. I said, "What's the deal with the fundraiser on Saturday night? Is it a secret or something?" His whispered word seemed to hang in the air: "Timshel!" His eyes closed and he slept. Go to the show Saturday night. Pay $5 and get a Squeak and Squawk sampler CD! Saturday, May 15, 9 p.m., $5, The New Frontier Lounge, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020 - Heather Loepp

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

SUNDAY, MAY 16, 2010 >>>

1. Little Bill & The Blue Notes holds a CD Release Party at 8 p.m. inside The Spar in Old Town Tacoma.

2. Food and entertainment from local groups representing Cambodia, India, Hawaii, Korea, Philippines, Samoa, Tonga, Thailand, Vietnam, China and Japan are a part of the Asian Pacific American Heritage Festival from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Fircrest Community Center.

3. Join biologist and author Dr. Thor Hanson for pictures, music, and stories about his work with the mountain gorillas of Uganda and other rare African species at 2 p.m. inside the Tacoma Art Museum.

4. The Student Orchestra of Olympia - SOGO - is a pretty impressive outfit. Started in 2000, it takes high school kids from all over the South Sound and molds them into tight, impressive, non-traditional orchestra and ensemble performing badasses. Actually, the kids do it themselves, SOGO just makes it possible. Today at 4 p.m. SOGO throws down with Ives, Gershwin and Copland - for starters - inside the Washington Center.

5. Pacific Lutheran University Theater Department will stage Tennessee Williams' Pulitzer Prize-winning play A Streetcar Named Desire, directed by Prof. Jeff A. Clapp, at 7:30 p.m. inside Eastvold Auditorium.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound