THE OLD FRIDAY OR MONDAY CLAIM >>>

Ali Kashi, the man behind the Blue Olive Ultra Lounge, Bella Vita, Lipstix and several other restaurants (and strip joints) we can't remember, will reopen his popular Johnny's Greek Café several blocks down Bridgeport Way from its former location – either tomorrow or Monday.

After peeking inside, we say Monday.

Now called just Greek Café, Kashi will serve basically the same menu, according to the worker bees inside the white and blue painted joint (inside and out). The Weekly Volcano staff hopes the gyro recipe carries over.

What do you hope is on, and off, the new menu?

Greek Café

109^th and Bridgeport Way SW, Lakewood

CARRS NOW SERVES BREAKFAST ALL THE TIME >>>

I had to take two aspirin after eating "The Undecided" breakfast entrée at Carrs Restaurant and Bar in Lakewood. The remedy wasn't need after consuming the massive meal. No, I jumped up to answer my phone outdoors and slammed the top of my goddamn head into an extremely low and ill-place hanging light at the popular car-themed joint.

An hour later my head still hurts.

Who installs a hanging light 5 feet, 2 inches off the floor approximately a foot away from a corner table? Automotive enthusiasts I gather.

Anyway, I'm not writing to just complain but to relay that Carrs now serves its breakfast all day and night (see hours below). Waffles, pancakes, "Ferrari French Toast," "Speedy Skillet," "Geared-Up Gravy" and the rest are at your beck and call. Carrs breakfast is popular with Lakewood residents. This could only be good news to them.

Obviously delirious, I ordered The Undecided: two bacon strips, two sausage links, massive slice of ham, two eggs cooked to order, the largest pile of hash browns I've ever seen, choice or one pancake or two slices of French toast for $15.49. I skipped the pancake/French toast section choosing the $1.29 waffle option.

My waffle play was a solid move as it's a crisp, thick Belgian beauty leaning a little on the sweet side that arrived on its own plate. This waffle ranks high on the South Sound waffle ladder.

The other plate - a foot and a half lounge - held the other food items. The sausage was standard juicy link; the bacon teetered on chewy/crisp. The ham resembled a jigsaw puzzle in terms of texture and color. And the hash browns, surprising evenly cooked, actually had a gravitational pull.

Again, I might be delirious, but if you're hungry - really hungry - it's not a bad decision.

Carrs Restaurant and Bar

6 a.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday,
6 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m.,
Saturday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday
11006 Bridgeport Way SW, Lakewood
253.584.4622

LINK: Local food and drink contests

KICKIN' IT VERY OLD SCHOOL >>>

Few pastimes rival an evening at Franke Tobey Jones Retirement community when the sky is draped with stars, the air is scented with flora, and you have a full can of bug repellent ready to nail anything that buzzes within a 100-foot radius. (Yes, that includes iPhones.) So tonight, pack some Off - along with a picnic din-din - and zip out to the Northend for a night of light classics, pop music and marches from the Tacoma Concert Band, an ensemble of 60 woodwind, brass, and percussion players from the Tacoma, Seattle, and lower Puget Sound areas. I'll give that some thought when I'm flat on my blanket gnawing on a chicken leg. 

Tacoma Concert Band

Thursday, Aug. 12, 6:30 p.m., free
Frank Tobey Jones Retirement Estates
corner of Vassault and Parkway near Point Defiance Park, Tacoma

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Partly cloudy, hi 85, lo 56

Saturday: Sunny and clear, hi 90, lo 58

Sunday: Sunny and clear, hi 92, lo 58

>>> FRIDAY, AUG. 13: HATS AND HEELS

The award-winning horse with a heart of gold Seabiscuit might be glue right now, but many racing horses are still alive and well and periodically doing their hoofing thing around dirt tracks to score some coin and a bag of oats. King County's Emerald Downs in Auburn really tries to offer something for all folks whether or not they have nicknames like Jimmy the Fish, Bobby the Lobster or Harry the Horse. Sure, there's still betting, boozing and guys named Sal offering "can't lose" picks of the day, but there are also lighter events, such as Hats And Heels this Friday. Back in the day, ladies of elegance attended the races strutting their latest fashions, including those trademark hats. Times have changed, and so has fashion, but this long-standing tradition has not. Dust off your hats, put on those heels and head to Emerald Downs. 

• Emerald Downs, 5 p.m., $30 includes glass of wine, shopping opportunities, race program, light buffet and more, 2300 Emerald Downs Dr., Auburn, 253.288.7700
  

>>> SATURDAY, AUG. 14: REDNECK PARKING LOT PARTY PART II

The last time Tacoma's newest and most energized country bar, Big Whisky Saloon, held a 100.7 FM The Wolf-hosted "Redneck Parking Lot Party" more than 800 people showed up to suck up live country music, dance on the outdoor dance floor, drink cold beer, eat barbecue and ride "Bubba the Mechanical Bull." That's redneck success, and exactly why this Saturday the Big Whisky is holding the Redneck Parking Lot Party Part II featuring Robbie Walden & The Gunslingers and others.

• Big Whisky Saloon, 5 p.m. to 2 a.m., free before 6 p.m., $10 after, 100 S. Ninth St., Tacoma, 253.272.0777

>>> SUNDAY, AUG. 15: ART IN THE PARK

Ever wonder what Music and Art in Wright Park might look like without the rock? Well, there's a good example at Monarch Sculpture Park this week. The Art in the Park open house will open a retrospective exhibit of paintings, prints and sculptures by Valentine Welman, who had a long and somewhat well-known career at the University of Washington teaching painting, printmaking and sculpting. It's art. But not rock.

• Monarch Sculpture Park, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., $5 per person 12 and older, 8431 Waldrick Road SE, Olympia, monarchartcenter.org

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

MATT DRISCOLL Editor and former Axe Deodorant Body Spray model
You know, it's funny. As a married dude with a young kid, I've spent plenty of hours over the years daydreaming about my bachelor days gone by. I've been known to long for an opportunity to fall asleep on the couch midday with one hand in a bag of Cheetos and another in the waistband of my sweats, if only because my "grown-up" life never allows such unshaven indulgences. However, with my wife and kid out of town for two whole weeks, and faced with the opportunity to be as slovenly and dudely as I damn well please, it hasn't been as awesome as I expected. It's actually kind of lonely. Anyway, this weekend - despite the fact it wont feel as good as I imagined it would - I'll probably still find the time to smoke several herbal jazz cigarettes and settle down in front of the tube with a gallon jug full of Captain Crunch to watch ridiculous apocalypse-themed shows on the History Channel - just like the good ol' days.

Either that or I'll go to Westport - because everyone's doin' it.

NIKKI TALOTTA Feature Writer
This weekend: Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. And still in recovery from bachelorette party in Portland. No, I didn't end up flashing my panties, but there was an episode involving handcuffs. ...

STEPH DEROSA Columnist
This weekend is my second annual girl's weekend in Westport, Wash.  This year I'm relaxing with my favorite Weekly Volcano cronies - Kate Swarner, Kris Blondin, Jennifer Johnson, and of course ... Bandito Betty. Don't try to call or write, for we will all be OFF THE GRID.

KRIS BLONDIN Food/Wine Writer
Hanging with The Volcano chickies at DeRosa Manor Part Deux in Westport. Wine, women and food. Oh, the food. If only YOU could be a fly on the wall. ...

JENNIFER JOHNSON: Lifestyle/Leisure Writer
Friday birthday party for awesome boyfriend DJ Bilori who's spinning at Laura's Bayview Bar & Grill at 8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday I'm off to a fabulous Westport weekend!

JOE IZENMAN Music/Theater Critic
I didn't get invited to DeRosa's beach cabin, but I didn't want to hang out with them anyway. Instead I shall bask in the glorious tap list of The Red Hot's third birthday extravaganza — I've been to all their birthdays, including their zeroth, so surely I won't miss this one — and then rolling off to sunny Cle Elum for a weeklong Dungeons & Dragons vacation. Yes, really.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Features Writer
Saturday, I plan on catching some manly bands in the name of supporting Music & Arts in Wright Park. The Speans and C.F.A. will break my eardrums, and Basemint will continue to be awesome and handsome.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
My girlfriend roped me into a Ballroom Blitz fundraiser even though I aspire to the dancing skills of an Elaine Benes. I'm also hoping to squeeze in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and The Expendables, the manliest manly movie ever manly made.

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
On Friday I'm having cataract surgery. Saturday I would like to test my new and improved eyesight by looking at a whole lot of beautiful people without their clothes.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

FRIDAY, AUG. 13, 2010 >>>

1. The Off the Chainring Tour - a traveling bikestravaganza if you will - rides the Olympia Timberland Library from 7-11:30 p.m. offering bike chats with the Bike Tech Olympia folks, bike stories, bike zines, slideshows, and short movies about transportation activism.

2. Local artists and community members chalk up the sidewalks around downtown Tacoma's Frost Park from noon to 1 p.m., then vote on the art at FeedTacoma. As always, free chalk will be available.

3. A grand opening celebration for the new B2 Fine Art Gallery/Studios in Tacoma and its first show, Expressive Facets of Nature, will go down between 5-8 p.m. at 711 St. Helens Ave.

4. SweetKiss Momma, Jar Of Flies, Klover Jane, Vile Red Falcons, J. T. Philips and Rane Stone will perform during The Northwest Convergence Zone's Summer Crush show at 8 p.m. inside Hell's Kitchen.

5. The film Maltese Falcon is back in your life this time screened outdoors at the historic Lord Mansion around 9 p.m. Bring a blanket or chair for comfort.

LINK: New movies open today

LINK: Concert go on sale this morning

FEW LIVE MUSIC SHOWS TONIGHT THAT CAUGHT OUR EYE >>>

Capitol Theater Olympia - Downtown. Shemekia Copeland. All Ages. 7 pm. $15-$20.

• Weekly Volcano music columnist Bobble Tiki waxes Shemekia here.
  

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. The Northwest Convergence Zone's Summer Crush, with Jar Of Flies, Klover Jane, SweetKiss Momma, Vile Red Falcons, J. T. Philips, Rane Stone. 21+. 8 pm.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Billy Shew Band. 21+. 7:30 pm. NC.

Le Voyeur Café and Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Tiger Shower Caps, Jana Osta, Wisdom Teef. 21+. 9 pm.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. 41 Miles. All Ages. 8:30 pm. NC.

Northern Olympia - Downtown. C.L.A.W.S., Finesse, Joey Casio, Global Warming, Prints. All Ages. 8 pm.

• C.L.A.W.S. is the project of San Franciscan Brian D. Hock, an unlikely West Coast underground talent (and radio DJ) whose booming beats and wintry digital blips would sound right at home in the famed clubs of Cologne, the world capital for all things komische. Hock, who gleaned inspiration from time spent grooving in Berlin's inimitable electro scene, shares many qualities with the gifted gearheads of German über-label Kompakt (Justus Köhncke, Thomas Fehlmann, Ferenc, and Scsi 9, to name a few), including an appreciation of sub-bass rattle, 4/4 house rhythms and icy textural flourishes. Any low-key electronic aesthete capable of holding their own against Deutschland's microhouse heavyweights is definitely worth catching. The other performers on this bill are also sure to bring the heat-expect a well-rounded evening of narcotic digital sounds. - Jason Baxter

The Old General Store Steakhouse and Saloon Roy. Broken Trail. 21+. 9 pm.

O'Malley's Irish Pub Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Rad Touch, Canon Canyon. 21+. 9 pm. NC.

Red Wind Casino Yelm. Jonathan Harris. 21+. 8:30 pm. NC.

SideBar Bistro Tacoma - Downtown. Saxophonist Michael Hershman. All Ages. 6-9 pm. NC.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. High Noon Horizon, Blanco Bronco, Midnight Salvage Co., Kill Devil Rum Club. 21+. 9:30 pm.

The Swiss Tacoma - Downtown. Sammy Steele Band. 21+. 9 pm.

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Soulstripper (AC/DC tribute). 21+. 7 pm. NC.

The Vault Nightclub Olympia - Downtown. Too $hort, Mr. D.O.G., Neema, Sec, Props, Hammond, Goldie Stac. 9 pm. $20.

• Too $hort, Oakland by-way-of South Central Los Angeles MC, has been rapping on the microphone and recording as a pioneer in hip-hop since the early '80s, spitting rhymes your parents would have never allowed you to listen to in that era - although Too $hort's work in the '80s was unique at the time, and contemporary rap borrows a lot from his heyday. Sometimes referred to as a misogynistic, womanizing, sinful lifestyle glorifying artist, Too $hort is much more. Click here for my thoughts. – Jose S. Gutierrez
  

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

DEFINITION OF AWESOME >>>

"The most brilliant ideas in life are often the simplest, and in many ways the most obvious. The Red Hot's combination of stellar craft beer and hefty, unique hot dogs is just such a scenario. Who would have thought Tacoma would love to horf all-beef hot dogs covered in a variety of awesome toppings - from the standard yellow mustard, chopped onions and relish, to cream cheese, bacon, chili, sauerkraut and more - and wash it down with one of the finest selections of beers you'll find? Oh, anyone with half a brain, you say? Well, The Red Hot beat ‘em to it. Grub up."

That's how Weekly Volcano Editor Matt Driscoll described The Red Hot in our Best of Tacoma 2010 issue. Hear, hear I say.

Many Tacomans believe The Red Hot is pure genius, too. That's why The Red Hot's third anniversary bash tomorrow will, as the last two years proved, be once again packed to the tap handles hanging from the ceiling.

To celebrate its third birthday and thank its patrons face-to-face, The Red Hot will open up the back beer garden, hand out giveaways, tap 26 beers - 13 in the beer garden, 13 inside - and serve canned beers, hot dogs and sausages. Beers scheduled to make an appearance are: 2009 Deschutes Abyss, Firestone Walker Parabola Stout & Double Jack IPA, Port Townsend Green Tea Golden, Silver City Whoop Pass IIPA, Ommegang Zuur, Black Raven Wisdom Seeker, Walking Man Runaway IPA, Human Blockhead Tough as Nails Lager, Double Mountain Som O Dat & Vaporizer, Schooner Exact Seamstress Union, a special Cherry Belgian Gold blend from Hales and others.

Having been to the last two Red Hot birthday bashes, I can vouch that's it's a good time.

The Red Hot Third Anniversary Bash

Saturday, Aug. 14, 1-11 p.m., no cover
2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma
253.779.0229

The Weekly Volcano follows MASSIVE celebrities so you don't have to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

Today, checking in with...

Lady Gaga!

Aug. 10: Lady Gaga is big with the teens.

"Just emerged from studio bender to hear we won two teen choice awards. Thank you for believing in me little monsters! I'm your hooker. X" via web

July 29: Coincidentally, Weekly Volcano editor Matt Driscoll is wearing the same exact outfit today, and he also smells like tequila.

"Days off in the AZ Desert: Cactus fashion + Tequila. Can't make me take off my leather, I would rather faint" via Twitpic

July 24: Awesome.

"In my former dressing room of my old Dallas gay stomping grounds. They supported me first. SO RAD COWBOYS." via Openbeak

Tune in next time for more hot Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano.

BONUS LADY GAGA PIC!

ARTS COVERAGE IN THIS WEEK'S VOLCANO >>>

Stuck In Actors' Purgatory: The pros and cons of typecasting in theater by Christian Carvajal

Slouching Toward Utopia: Tacoma is showing signs of life by Joe Malik

A Crime Scene Revisited: South Puget Sound Community College presents the unpolished but affecting The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later by Christian Carvajal

Concealed And Revealed: The fairer sex by Donald Cole and Francie Allen by Alec Clayton

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: It's the closest replication to the experience of reading a graphic novel I've ever encountered by Rev. Adam McKinney

LINK: Arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

It's really pretty amazing to me.  Once every month or so, when I'm sitting in front of my computer on a Friday morning, faced with the task of crafting yet another installment of The Prefunk - a weekend primer for you and your liver - I think to myself: Is this really a good idea? Is this how I should be spending my time?  Is this why I borrowed money for college?

So, I holler across the hall to my boss - the publisher, and master of all things web.

"Boss," I say, "are you sure this is really a good idea?  What do people really think when they read this thing?  I mean, I know you think it's funny.  But do you think people at home think it's funny?  People at work?  People with moral standards?  People with some semblance of decency?"

"They LOVE it!" he shouts back.  "Now get back to work and make some more goddamn jokes about getting blado on Nyquil or I'll take away your bathroom privileges!"

And so I trudge on.

With that, here's this week's Prefunk, with an extra special picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

A HISTORIC JOURNEY THROUGH SOUTH TACOMA

Saturday, Aug. 14

I gotta be straight with you. I'm a sucker for history.  It's almost laughable.  You should see the way my wife rolls her eyes when I get the remote and head toward the History Channel. I'm not sure what it is, perhaps the overwhelming feeling that things were better, more exciting, more alive, and more real way back when.

Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Anyway, while this may sound a wee-bit lame to 85 percent of you (The Prefunk has 13 faithful readers, so you can do the math), the Tacoma Historical Society is hosting a free walking tour of South Tacoma Saturday, and it actually sound pretty fucking awesome. As the aforementioned faithful readers can attest to (100 percent of 13), I only put "fucking" in front of "awesome" when I'm serious.

Starting at 10 a.m. at Northwest Motor Scooters at 5428 South Tacoma Way, those interested in taking the free tour (it's FREE, people!) will meet and mingle with Darlyne Reiter, author of THEE book on South Tacoma (OK, so there aren't that many), appropriately titled South Tacoma.  The New York Times has yet to review the book, but that's because they're a bunch of liberal jackasses that wouldn't know literary gold if it was encrusted on their Prince Albert.

Then, at 10:15 a.m. railroad historian Jim Fredrickson will really get the history party pumpin' - dropping mad knowledge on Northern Pacific Railway and the South Tacoma Shops.  While I don't have a penis piercing joke to make in correlation with Fredrickson's portion of the program (say that three times fast), that's not to say it won't be totally boss.

At 11 a.m. architectural Gerald Eysaman will lead a walking tour through South Tacoma's business district.  A multi-tasker, Eysaman will simultaneously talk while walking, and this walking and talking will coalesce into a portion of the event called "The South Tacoma That Was."

Finally, according to reports Bill Habermann will finish things off by leading a tour of "historic" Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium. You know this is going to be good because, well, it's a history tour and Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium is apparently "historic." It just makes sense.

While we don't know much about Habermann, a quick and completely random Google image search leads us to believe it's probably this guy.

PREFUNK: A historic tour of South Tacoma, eh? 

Has a situation ever called for malt liquor more? 

The answer is no.

See you next week.