THE PREFUNK: South Tacoma history

By Matt Driscoll on August 13, 2010

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

It's really pretty amazing to me.  Once every month or so, when I'm sitting in front of my computer on a Friday morning, faced with the task of crafting yet another installment of The Prefunk - a weekend primer for you and your liver - I think to myself: Is this really a good idea? Is this how I should be spending my time?  Is this why I borrowed money for college?

So, I holler across the hall to my boss - the publisher, and master of all things web.

"Boss," I say, "are you sure this is really a good idea?  What do people really think when they read this thing?  I mean, I know you think it's funny.  But do you think people at home think it's funny?  People at work?  People with moral standards?  People with some semblance of decency?"

"They LOVE it!" he shouts back.  "Now get back to work and make some more goddamn jokes about getting blado on Nyquil or I'll take away your bathroom privileges!"

And so I trudge on.

With that, here's this week's Prefunk, with an extra special picture of an alcoholic household pet thrown in for good measure.

A HISTORIC JOURNEY THROUGH SOUTH TACOMA

Saturday, Aug. 14

I gotta be straight with you. I'm a sucker for history.  It's almost laughable.  You should see the way my wife rolls her eyes when I get the remote and head toward the History Channel. I'm not sure what it is, perhaps the overwhelming feeling that things were better, more exciting, more alive, and more real way back when.

Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Anyway, while this may sound a wee-bit lame to 85 percent of you (The Prefunk has 13 faithful readers, so you can do the math), the Tacoma Historical Society is hosting a free walking tour of South Tacoma Saturday, and it actually sound pretty fucking awesome. As the aforementioned faithful readers can attest to (100 percent of 13), I only put "fucking" in front of "awesome" when I'm serious.

Starting at 10 a.m. at Northwest Motor Scooters at 5428 South Tacoma Way, those interested in taking the free tour (it's FREE, people!) will meet and mingle with Darlyne Reiter, author of THEE book on South Tacoma (OK, so there aren't that many), appropriately titled South TacomaThe New York Times has yet to review the book, but that's because they're a bunch of liberal jackasses that wouldn't know literary gold if it was encrusted on their Prince Albert.

Then, at 10:15 a.m. railroad historian Jim Fredrickson will really get the history party pumpin' - dropping mad knowledge on Northern Pacific Railway and the South Tacoma Shops.  While I don't have a penis piercing joke to make in correlation with Fredrickson's portion of the program (say that three times fast), that's not to say it won't be totally boss.

At 11 a.m. architectural Gerald Eysaman will lead a walking tour through South Tacoma's business district.  A multi-tasker, Eysaman will simultaneously talk while walking, and this walking and talking will coalesce into a portion of the event called "The South Tacoma That Was."

Finally, according to reports Bill Habermann will finish things off by leading a tour of "historic" Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium. You know this is going to be good because, well, it's a history tour and Oakwood Hill Cemetery and Columbarium is apparently "historic." It just makes sense.

While we don't know much about Habermann, a quick and completely random Google image search leads us to believe it's probably this guy.

PREFUNK: A historic tour of South Tacoma, eh? 

Has a situation ever called for malt liquor more? 

The answer is no.

See you next week.