PETTY QUESTIONS: AN INTRODUCTION>>>

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears [...]"

-Julius Caesar (III, ii, 73)

Hi! My name is Owen Thomas Leigh Bates, but you can call me "Owen Bates" for short. Fine, fine-"Owen" works too! It's great to meet you... sort of.

What's going on? Why am I coming at you live, 24-hour premium access pass over the Net? And who the hell am I?

Well, my name is Owen (1). I'm from Tacoma (2). Basically, I'm writing a new advice column for the Volcano(3). It will be called Petty Questions (4) and will revolve around trivial things, pet peeves and little neuroses, etc. etc. (5)

So, who is this bozo? How can Owen Bates do better than Dan Savage or the guy who does "Social Qs" in the Times? Those people are paid cash money, you say.

Well, I think that's a really great question and I'm glad you asked. If you want, I'll ask Mr. Driscoll why I'm not getting paid cash money.

Petty Questions is going to be entertaining and droll and just a real blast overall. Want a sneak peak at the first column? We're going to be talking about barbeque sauce, among other things.

What other things? Lips sealed.

If you have any "petty questions," so to speak, send them in! I want to help you out, and along the way write a funny little column. But I can't do much if you're not sending in questions. Assuming you readers step up, my words of wisdom should be coming at you every Saturday starting in November, right here weeklyvolcano.com

Let me leave you with another great quote:

"Et tu, Brute?"

-Julius Caesar (III, i, 77)

Hope to see you around!

Sincerely,

Owen

Please direct questions to: askpettyquestions@gmail.com