This week ...
Thing: Spartacus T. Ladle of Infinite Soups
Stats: 13-inch handle, stainless steel, 6-ounce bowl
Washed: Daily
Scoops Per Hour (SPH): +/- 200
Weight: 0.42 ounces
Alternative uses: back-scratching, spanking, weapon
Nickname: Spartacus
Nickname in the '70s: Spoonflower
Favorite Song: "The Underdog" by Spoon
Would come back in another life as: Vichyssoise
Regrets: "Not being in that Soundgarden video"
Annoyances: Spoonerisms, especially "Nucking Futs"
Spartacus T. Ladle resides with his adopted parents, Todd and Wendy, inside Tacoma's Infinite Soups. His date of birth is unknown, but that doesn't stop him from celebrating every day as though it's his birthday. Dip by dip, Spartacus takes the plunge into mouthwatering, tummy-warming homemade soups with a zest that changes daily.
From Curried Chickpea and Potato Gorgonzola to Pizza Supreme and Hunter's Meatball - Spartacus has stood the test of time, fulfilling every request for soup-scooping made by his loving parents. Some may think that steady soup-scooping lies only in the hands of the human soup-scooper, but Spartacus disagrees, noting that he is "not cast as one piece, you see. I am two pieces, which are bonded together at the bottom of the scoop and the handle. I could fall apart at any time."
Spartacus speaks from experience. Parents Wendy and Todd don't have to keep his two-piece lineage a secret; he's witnessed firsthand how quickly a weak ladle bond can become tragedy.
Adopted three years ago along with his 11 other ladle brothers and sisters, Sparty recalls the loved ones he's lost through time. "All it takes is a few hundred washes after a few hundred busy days of scooping mom and dad's nummy soup and ... BAM! The bond weakens and all of the sudden a ladle is in two pieces, rendered useless," he shares, a tear coming to his eye as he glances over at the single row of ladle handles Wendy and Todd have lined up along a spice shelf in honor of those they've lost.
Memories of lost ladle siblings certainly don't change the family atmosphere in Infinite Soups, as the show must go on, day after day, Monday through Friday, 11 a.m.-7 p.m. The Infinite Soup clan spreads its lip-smacking consommé at a second location inside Sanford and Sons, also Monday through Friday. When asked if any of the ladles used at the second Infinite Soup location were offspring of Sparty's, he quickly answers, "Hell no!"
But rest assured kids are only a matter of time for Spartacus, because everyone knows spooning always leads to forking.
[Infinite Soups, 445 Tacoma Ave. South and 744 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.274.0232]