MAKE IT ALL BETTER LOUIS, MAKE THE BAD GO AWAY>>>

Happy humpday! Here's a little Louis C.K to get you through the midweek lull. I was gonna post a story about the man with the world's largest penis (about the size of a wine bottle) for hump day, but I wasn't sure how you'd take it (yep, that was a pun). So, enjoy these Louis CK snippets in lieu of cock. It's probably just as offensive.

P.S. I had to add that last one. Sorry, there's a commercial. But.. worth it.

I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS OPENS THIS WEEK >>>

Get this: In the new film I Love You Phillip Morris (opening this week, and specifically at the Grand Cinema in Tacoma on Friday), Jim Carrey plays a con-man adept at facial contortions and slapstick falls.

Even more shocking: The film actually looks really good. Despite the inclusion of Carrey - which has been known to ruin a thing or two - I Love You Phillip Morris (also starring Ewan McGregor) has been getting great reviews and looks like a sure bet for, at the very least, quality entertainment - if not award winning performances from the man who brought us Ace Ventura, among others.

Check out a review of I Love You Phillip Morris in tomorrow's print version of the Weekly Volcano.

And feast on the trailer below ...

SIX MINUTES OF KIDS SLAMMING INTO EACH OTHER >>>

"Meth metal" band Owen Hart have a talent for demanding attention, whether through the aggro assault of their music or with disarmingly twisted, comical track titles. They're as heavy as they are heavily self-aware; even their name has a morbid, winking quality, deriving from the famed WWF wrestler who plummeted 78 feet to his death at Kemper Arena in 1999. And while the quintet's songs hit with all the force of an unexpected gut-punch, silly titles like "Fuck Morrissey, Fuck The Smiths, Fuck The Cure" and "Welcome To Worthless-Piece-Of-Shit-Ville, Population: You" (from their forthcoming Earth Control, due out Jan. 18 on Vitriol Records) make their music all the more disorienting and impressive.

The band will play Northern in Olympia on Friday. For the full story, click here.

Below you'll find a video of Owen Hart performing at Rainfest at Tacoma's much-missed Viaduct.

CIRCLE FEB. 17 ON YOUR CALENDAR NOW >>>

As you've probably heard, the Weekly Volcano will proudly publish its Best of Olympia 2011 issue on Feb. 17 - a little over a month from now, for those playing at home in eager anticipation.

Best of Olympia reader voting is now open - please go here and let your voice be heard.

But even more exciting, the details of the Volcano's Best of Olympia party at The Brotherhood Lounge on Feb. 17 have just been announced. With an award ceremony preceding the musical action, Oly stalwarts Dirty Birds, Western Hymn, Morgan & the Organ Donors and DJ James will get things revved up starting at 9 p.m. We'll even be handing out free Old School Pizza.

Talk about awesome. See you there!

And remember, vote for the Best of Olympia now!

The Volcano's Best of Olympia 2011 issue is sponsored by the Washington Center for the Performing Arts

STANLEY AND SEAFORTS STILL HAS IT >>>

Stanley and Seafort's Restaurant recently revamped menu has received mixed responses from patrons. Change is hard for some people, while others embrace it. My dining companion and I did just that, sampling house-smoked British Columbia salmon belly - a new addition to the happy hour appetizer menu. Shaped into a thin, level mound, capers, lemon and onion collectively complemented the very fresh salmon with crème fraîche, a sprig of dill and black tobiko on top. The accompanying house-made chips, tart gherkin pickles in stone ground mustard and cucumber chips dialed the flavor up to 11.

Preparation and presentation still rule at the hillside Tacoma patriarch of restaurants where tasty is the name of the game. Extras include: twice daily happy hours and 14 appetizers of seafood, shellfish, beef and fowl at about half-off, discounted cocktails and $4 drinks.

A small plates section has been added to the dinner menu - these  are à la carte protein dishes of lamb chops, tiger prawns, lobster, veal and more. Servers are at the ready with new menu knowledge and suggestions of old favorites such as herb-crusted prime rib, filet mignon Wellington and Maine lobster. Executive Chef Josh Martin was definitely wise to keep the classics on the menu.

[Stanley & Seafort's Restaurant, 115 East 34th Street, Tacoma, 253.473.7300]

JUST IN >>>

This gem just popped up on weeklyvolcano.com in regard to our story on the demise of the Funky Monkey, 104.9 FM.

"I was In the federal Prison at Seatac for Twenty months. The monkey kept my sanity for the entire time. I got out and found nothing else could compare. I have been streaming for over a year. I feel lost." -Bill Garvey

Awesome.

See the other 48 comments, as well as our actual article, here.

IN THE BUSINESS, THIS IS CALLED A TEASE >>>

Sordid Sentinels play rock music, plain and simple. They are upfront about it. They're not reinventing the wheel, nor do they intend to. What they mean to accomplish is to perform good, soul-nourishing rock music, and they accomplish it quite nicely. They pride themselves on delivering an exciting live show, at which they are also successful.

Check out my interview with the band in tomorrow's Volcano -- before heading out to catch their show at The New Frontier Lounge Thursday night.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube, here's what it might look like (obviously shot at O'Malley's) ...

THURSDAY, JAN. 6, 2011 >>>

1. Load up your sack lunch with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts cut off and head to the Tacoma Art Museum for Tacoma historian and former City Councilman Thomas R. Stenger chat, "Hotel Living: From the Tacoma to the Hobo" at 11:30 p.m. It's party of the awesome Mighty Tacoma: Photographic Portrait 2010 exhibit.

2. The "Green" community hugs it out over drinks from 5:30-8 p.m. inside Primo Grill in Tacoma as part of the monthly Green Drinks gathering. It's an informal affair that's meant to be fun. If someone tries to make you sign something or ask you for money, they'll be banished to the Yellow Drinks group.

3. Enjoy riding Pierce Transit to Point Defiance Park? How about riding it to the grocery store? Due to an ugly drop in sales tax revenue and an effed-up economy, like many transit agencies across the country, Pierce Transit is facing drastic revenue shortfalls.  Tacoma Mayor Marilyn Strickland will have none of it. The good mayor and community leaders will kick off a "Save our Buses" campaign at 6 p.m. inside the Hub Event Space in Tacoma's Stadium District. The goal? Convincing folks to vote for a 0.3 percent sales tax in February.

4. The Come Out And Play Open Mic at Tempest Lounge is hosted by the uber talented Kim Archer and Nick Sandy. Get your song on from 7-10 p.m.

5. Big Whisky Saloon in downtown Tacoma hosts country dance lessons at 7:30 p.m. followed by DJ Tyler spinning rock and country videos from 10 p.m. to close. The Weekly Volcano's Nosh League will taste whiskey before next week's dance lessons. RSVP to our Jan. 13 tasting here.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Happy hours!

HUNGARY BRINGS YOU HEAVY METAL BLISS>>>

Before I started working for the Volcano I wasted a lot of time on Youtube... Now, I get paid for it.(So, very, very little.) But, now I can waste away my mornings guilt-free. This morning I cruised Youtube for a couple of hours trying to find that golden nugget of a video to bring to you. I sifted through piles of shitty virals, until I came upon this one. It's shitty, but so shitty that it crosses the line over to brilliance.

MIND-BOGGLINGLY AMBITIOUS PROJECT >>>

Just got this in my mailbox from Crystal Dorval of Vancouver, BC, dream-pop band My Friend Wallis (by the way, you are such a putz for missing the band at the New Frontier; they were awesome):

I wanted to inform you of a project I am taking on for 2011. I am trying to record and post a song a day for the year. I am not using pre written material, just trying to let each thing I make be a result of the experience or state of that day.

So far it is going good, though I am still in the honeymoon phase, all starry eyed and hopeful. I am interested to see where this will go. To me, if anything, it just seems like an interesting platform for experimentation.

Anyway, I don't really know how interesting this sort of thing is for others, but it is what it is :)

Dorval will be posting the songs on her Soundcloud, which can be found here.

Sure enough, there's a song for each day we've experienced so far in 2011.

What a mind-bogglingly ambitious project this is. Similar projects have been done in the past, most notably, perhaps, by Jonathan Coulton. But his Song A Week project doesn't come close to the insanity of producing 365 songs in as many days. It'll be interesting to see how far My Friend Wallis gets, or if they miraculously make it to the end.

And seriously, shame on you for missing them at The New Frontier.