WAITING FOR THE SHOW TO BEGIN >>>

Did this new venue on Sixth Avenue draw its inspiration from the Wings' song? Put that in your sheesha and smoke it.

CATCH THEM SATURDAY AT THE DEN >>>

In my interview with offbeat Portland musicians Ghost to Falco (Eric Crespo) and Dragging an Ox Through Water (Brian Mumford) for this week's issue of the Volcano, I begin by asking how the two tour-mates and DIY label co-founders got to know each other. I only had room in the finished piece for Eric's side of the story, and it turns out these two dudes' relationship is a tiny bit more complicated. Here's what Brian had to tell me:

BRIAN MUMFORD: We've known each other for a long time. I think we met kind of gradually just through various musical communities, but we really started to hang out more once I had moved to Portland and was living with our mutual friend Mike McKinnon (Reporter). Mike was playing drums in a former incarnation of Ghost to Falco for a little while, plus we just had tons of mutual friends through assorted bands we played in, and shows, and living situations.

I also decided to pick their brains about the Infinite Front label they started together, which released Ghost to Falco's most recent LP, Exotic Believers, as well as material by Aan, Weaver, and Ohioan.

ERIC CRESPO:  There was just a need for it within our circle. There were folks, myself included, who were making albums that they worked really hard on and not finding any label who would release them. Some fledgling label here or there might release something, but nothing ever felt like it could be a lasting home. It's nice know that there's the Infinite Front home base, so we don't have to just float out there alone in the ether. Infinite Front allows all involved to unite under a common banner and lift each other up.    
BRIAN MUMFORD: It's good that it's a collective sort of formulation of a label. It makes it looser and less centralized in many ways. I've been putting out some cassettes under the label name: "musical impressions," they haven't been so far, but some future releases will be co-released by both labels. This month I'll be putting out a tape by a band called Grandfather Claws that Eric and I played in together with our friends Morgan and Cortney Ritter.

Clearly, community is something that's important to these guys. Knowing how socially tight-knit (while musically diverse) the Portland music scene can be, I thought I'd ask Eric about all the collaborators he had on Exotic Believers. Its roster of guest musicians is positively massive (seventeen in total!).

ERIC CRESPO: I've been playing around Portland for awhile so I know some people, but there were actually a number of people who played on Exotic Believers who I had never met until they walked into the studio. Heather Broderick (Horse Feathers, Efterklang) was good about bringing talented friends of hers along with her. There was one day where I tried to get as many people as possible to come in for a group singing part so I asked the people who I had asked to bring as many people with them as they could. There were some people in the studio that day that I had never met. So maybe I don't actually have that many friends.

Chin up, Eric! I doubt Kanye West personally knew all of the 45 guest artists (incl. studio musicians) on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, not that is an even remotely fair comparison.

Dragging an Ox Through Water and Ghost to Falco

Saturday, Jan. 15, 7 p.m., all ages, $5 donation
The Den@urbanXchange, 1932 Pacific Ave., Tacoma
253.572.2280

LINK: The original article

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

PLAN AHEAD >>>

Racism and prejudice toward the Muslim population is a hot-button issue that the Council on American-Islam Relations has devoted its time and energy to tackling. CAIR will be hosting their annual Muslim Capitol Day 2011 fundraiser from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday, Jan. 17 on the State Capitol campus in Olympia. Based in Washington D.C., this non-profit organization deals with legislature around Islamic relations, educates the wider community about the Muslim faith, and gives a voice to the American-Islamic population. Arsalan Bukhari, executive director of CAIR-Seattle says, "The main focus of CAIR is to get involved and advocate on issues that effect everyone."

Muslim Capitol Day is not only a fundraiser, but also an opportunity for Muslim residents of this state to come together to address issues relevant to their districts. Those attending will get to speak directly to their lawmakers, have meaningful discussions, and learn how legislation is enacted. Each registered person is automatically given an appointment to speak with two of their representatives and one senator to lobby for issues such as preventing foreclosure, balanced budget, and preserving basic services.

Participants will also have an opportunity to hear from guest Imam Siraj Wahhaj, distinguished public speaker, previous member of the national board of CAIR, and the first Muslim to offer an opening prayer to the U.S. House of Representatives. Wahhaj promotes issues such as abstinence and drug awareness.

Last year, this event was attended by an impressive 500 Muslim people across the state, and was extremely well received.            

Jacob Glickman, a junior in Tacoma School of the Arts' internship program, will also be spending the next three weeks as an intern for CAIR. Glickman is responsible for the online registration for the Muslim Day at the Capitol.

"I believe that Muslims have faced a lot of prejudice in our country since 9/11 and even before, and I want to do all I can to help support them and fight this mistreatment," states Glickman.

To register for Muslim Capitol Day 2011, call the CAIR office at 206.367.4081. Meals and childcare will be provided; transportation available.

If you would like to make a donation to CAIR, visit their website here. 

Muslim Capitol Day 2011

Monday, Jan. 17, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.
State Capitol Campus, 416 Sid Snyder Ave. SW, Olympia
206.367.4081

PUBLISHER'S NOTE: The report above was filed by our Tacoma School of the Arts intern Anne Anderle, who wrote it in a cubicle embedded in our Advertising Department inside Annex C at our World Headquarters. Surrounded by chatter concerning the Best of Olympia issue, corporate sales charts, hairdos and OMG Married to Rock, she discovered a connection between our state's Muslims Day and Tacoma School of the Arts. The Volcano participates in SOTA's internship program on a yearly basis. It's the smartest move we've ever made, besides Company Pizza Day every Wednesday.

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week takes us on an aural adventure.

One of the skills a bartender must have is the ability to eavesdrop. We have to be aware of our surroundings - our senses alert. However, while there's no doubt this skill can sometimes be helpful, mostly we just end up hearing a bunch of weird shit.  Often, after the doors are locked and the beers are stocked, we joke about the random quotes we overhear.

Here are a few good recent ones  ...

Quote One: Said by a young man in a beanie to his assumed new co-worker:

"Dude, the thing is, when you smoke pot in the walk-in cooler, you gotta blow it in the onions."

This is especially funny because everyone knows you blow it into the outtake fan!

Quote Two: Or from the office ladies giggling over white Russians:

"Good head should count for something ... he says he owes me a set of chef knives."

Quote Three: Or the girl dishing to her friends about her day, rounding it up with:

"So, besides this ill-fitting tampon, I feel amazing!"

The next time you saddle up to the bar for beers and bullshitting, remember - we can hear you.

LINK HUB - PREVIOUS "BEHIND BARS"

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper

HOW SWEET IT IS >>>

Victory has come! We are the proud owners of a temporary 1 inch x 1/4 cm section in the Weekly Volcano's masthead in print with our names on it! The beautiful words are now forever ours, "Interns: Megan Adams, Anne Anderle." Right beneath the section labeled "Contributors," our wonderful work is displayed for all to see. Yes siree we've achieved greatness - three official posted blogs and our precious printed names. You may ask how we managed to pull off this incredible feat, but alas, we cannot divulge such secrets. Now, being published authors, feel free to Google us - we did.

Thank you, Volcano. 

BRING ON THE WEEKEND >>>

You're not going to believe this! It's crazy! So, like, you're reading The Prefunk, right - a weekly primer for the weekend designed for you and your liver - but I'm not even in the office today. NOT EVEN CLOSE! (Well, kind of close, but I meant mentally.) I took the day off. I'm at home resting and recuperating. But you're still reading this! It's like magic, only it's not really that close to magic. It's, like, technology, or something. Basically, I wrote this on Thursday and it didn't post until Friday. It's fucking crazy. What kind of magic is that?

The bottom line: Even in vacation, I can't forget my Prefunk obligation to you.

Because I care.

So here we go ...

Frost/Nixon at the Tacoma Little Theatre

7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday

Look, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I hire freakin' talented people. Not only can Christian Carvajal write (his trip back to high school and his atheism story are personal favorites), but the man can also crush small beings with only a hunched stare of disapproval. There are chunks of hopeful but ultimately untalented theater types in his stool. It's vicious, and at times unsettling - but you can't deny the man's talents. Even more impressive, despite his skills, Carvajal actually takes zero satisfaction in panning a play - the duty pains him, but he soldiers on. I hear he can also cook.

But, most importantly to this Prefunk, he can act.

Carvajal is currently cast as Bob Zelnick in Tacoma Little Theatre's Frost/Nixon. And, no asshole, that's not the Kevin Bacon role. It's the fucking Oliver Platt role. Who? Oliver Platt! You've never fucking heard of Oliver Platt? Jesus. Never mind ...

Frost/Nixon opened Thursday, Jan. 13 at Tacoma Little Theatre, and by this weekend any kinks should be sufficiently worked out. It's a play worth seeing, and Carvajal has invited all of Tacoma to dissect his work.

PREFUNK: In preparation for your trip to Tacoma Little Theatre for Frost/Nixon, I suggest beefing up on your appreciation for our 37^th President.

Start here ...

GOOD LUCK DECIDING WHAT LIVE SHOWS TO SEE TONIGHT >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. The Missionary Position. 21+. 9 pm.

Cassidy's Pub & Mini Golf Tacoma - Eastside. The Gone Daddies. 21+. 9 pm.

Cicada Restaurant Olympia - Downtown. Pianist Joe Baque and his trio. 8 pm. NC.

C.I. Shenanigan's Tacoma - Northend. Collaborative Works Jazz Trio. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

The Den at urbanXchange Tacoma - Downtown. Ghost To Falco, Dragging An Ox Through Water. All Ages. 7 pm.

• Portland multi-instrumentalists Dragging an Ox Through Water and Ghost to Falco make enveloping, hard-to-categorize music. Dragging an Ox Through Water (Brian Mumford) colors his folky jams with circuit-bent flourishes from tweaked oscillators and light-dependent resistors. Historically, Ghost to Falco (Eric Crespo) has played his eclectic, Elverum-esque compositions solo, but for his show at The Den, he'll be joined by Ryne Warner (of Castanets) and Aan's Bud Wilson. I sought out these two friends and co-founders of the DIY imprint Infinite Front for a joint interview. Read it here. – Jason Baxter
  

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. Coldnote. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Potluck, Jay Barz, Partners In Chryme, Island Trybe, Sawchosiz, Strik & Krusal. 21+. 8 pm.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Dustin Darnold. All Ages. 6 pm. Paul Mauer, Karl Penn. All Ages. 8:30 pm. $5.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. Neil's Birthday Party, with The Fucking Eagles, Goldteeth, Wheelies. 21+. 9 pm.

• To celebrate the birthday of Neil Harris, owner of The New Frontier Lounge, the venue has booked pizza-loving indie rock bikers Wheelies (no strangers to The New Frontier), caffeinated 253 veterans Gold Teeth ("the most rock and roll band in Tacoma") and ecstatic Tacoma punks the Fucking Eagles. Maybe you've spied the eye-catching Xeroxed poster for this show online or ‘round town. It's infused with a deliciously ‘90s kind of self-deprecating blasé-ness ("It's Neil Harris' BARF-day Bash!" "Mystical! Barbaric! Boring!"), that's even funnier when you consider that there's no doubt this show will be, to cite the title of a Fuck*ing Eagles jam, "out of this world." – JB

Peabody Waldorf Tacoma - Downtown. A Leaf, The Merry Way, Hail. All Ages. 8 pm. $6.

The Spar Tacoma - Old Town. 9 Lb Hammer. 21+. 8 pm. NC.

Traditions Cafe and World Folk Art Olympia - Downtown. Holly Gwinn Graham. All Ages. 8 pm. $8-$12.

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Amigo AJ Party, featuring Push. 21+. 8 pm. $5.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

SATURDAY, JAN. 15, 2011>>>

1. If you know what's good for you you'll want to check out A Leaf, the Merry Way and Hail at the all-ages Peabody Waldorf Boutique and Gallery, 745 Broadway, Tacoma.

2. This weekend at the Puyallup Fairgrounds (specifically, the Americraft ShowPlex, Pavilion and Centennial Building) the Western Washington All Breed Dog Show Cluster will go down in epic fashion - pitting the most privileged and pampered yappers you'll ever seen in a battle royal for canine supremacy.

3. As the Volcano's Jason Baxter notes, "Portland multi-instrumentalists Dragging an Ox Through Water and Ghost to Falco make enveloping, hard-to-categorize music." Today, both acts play the Den @ urbanXchange. It's all ages, and sure to be awesome.

4. Ever third Saturday of the month at the Barnes and Noble in Olympia, the "American Girl Book and Craft Club" meets, makes merry, and gets creative. According to hype, the action - intended for the kiddies - is led by Miss Brie, and the supplies are provided. It starts at noon.

5. Ring Round the Moon has opened at Lakewood Playhouse and runs through Feb. 6. Today, the show starts at 8 p.m. Featuring twins - played by the same actor - Ring Round the Moon is described as, "A quick-paced satire of upper-class pretension and lower-class ambition."

WEEKLY ADVICE ABOUT PET PEEVES AND TRIVIAL MATTERS >>>

PETYY QUESTIONS IS TEN COLUMNS OLD! HAPPY HALLMARKDAY! GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN GREAT JOB OWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's what people have been saying about Petty Questions:

Hey Owen, I read your column.

---Friend

Saw your column up on the Volcano.

---Esteemed Colleague

Is your column online yet? Wait, Saturdays? OK.

---Mentor

Do you know who that mentor is? I shouldn't give away names, but if you said Dan Savage then you would probably be wrong even though as an advice columnist I look up to him, kind of like a friend I don't know yet.

So, are you guys ready for a question or what?

>>>

Hey, I've got a petty question for ya. [This guy is great! ---OB] I'm in my place of work, trying to work. Normally I like taking breaks and stretching my legs for circulation purposes, but now I'm afraid to go into the break room. My co-worker, let's call her Sheila Kunitz [name changed: Kunitz actually has two Ns in real life. ---OB], she keeps pushing her Nanaimo bars on me at the break table. "Hey, brought in my Nanaimo bars, you gotta try my Nanaimies." But if I start eating all those N-bars I'm going to get a pretty bad sugar crash right when I get back to my desk for my position in sales. See, in sales you got to be at your peak 24/7---work hard, play hard. What's a guy like me to do, a sales guy?

---Sales Man No Sugar 101

Here's the deal, SMNS101. Stand up to her, tell her "no" is non in French. Sophisticate her, transform her into a Cosmopolitan type of gal. She'll be like your jet-setting doll, and the office where you teach her equestrian secrets will be like your doll's house. Do not allow her to take out debts to save your life or become her own individual, make her flee your suffocating, well-to-do bird cage. When you find yourself alone in the end, maybe, oh, I don't know...write it into a play? Make about a million bucks? You don't ever have to go to work again and worry about Nanaimos. That was easy.

Great, I'm done with the real work. Now I get to throw in a story because that is how I usually do this column. Before you were reading about who calls the shots and now you will read about who calls the shots. Thanks for letting me get away with this.

I heard them before I saw them.

"HEY FELLA, get off the Catholic side of the sidewalk---unless you're Catholic!"

"Yeah, we mean it!"

"Are you Catholic?"

Look at these dweebs. They didn't know who they were messing with. They didn't know I run this town. They didn't know I was the ASB president and the ASB mayor and the real mayor. They didn't know I ran both papers and the shadow government. They didn't know my family founded this city last year when I decided to found this city. Shit, they didn't know that Maryland ended segregation of Catholics and Protestants over a month ago.

And they didn't even know I was B-Squad Captain. These assholes were cruisin' for a bruisin'.

"So what are you buddy, Catholic? Presbyterian? Methodist? Catholic? You know, Episcopalian is kind of Catholic in a lot of ways."

Heh. Bet they would go wild and crazy if I affronted their God, I thought. Out of my pocket I produced a picture of the Pope and tore it up in front of them, in a mean way. Did I just desecrate their God of Portraiture Photography? Yes I did just do that.

I struck a match and threw it at their bowl of gasoline. "Hello, I am the man in charge of this town. Any questions, dorks?"

The leader stared me straight in the eye. "So, Episcopalian?"

My editor once informed me that I have to meet a 700-word minimum, so this batch of text right here is telling you to keep a keen eye out for the next Petty Questions: Column à la Murder.

Please direct all questions to: askpettyquestions@gmail.com

LINK  HUB - PREVIOUS "PETTY QUESTIONS"

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: John Lennon remembered

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Creeping doubt

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Out of time

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Who wants yesterday's paper?

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Around the world

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Wonderful Christmastime (Paul McCartney version)

LINK: PETTY QUESTIONS: Out at the pictures

DON'T LIKE EXCITING FOOTBALL? >>>

There's no joy quite as satisfying as the joy derived from a really good bitch session.  And in times like these - winter, of course, what did you think we meant?  Everything else is perfect, silly - complaining nonstop is really the only way to go. Especially if you're not a skier or snowboarder.  But should you grow weary of kvetching (and there are reports of this happening, though they are about as common as the word kvetch), there is a cheaper, adrenaline-filled alternative: Tubing at Mount Rainier. Stop laughing. What could be better than careening uncontrollably in a glorified tire, down a freakin' massive rock loaded with hundreds of feet of snow?  Not much, other than it's free after paying for a park pass for the day, which is $15 per vehicle.

Due to trees, rocks and people's heads, the snowplay area patrol at Paradise suggests using "soft" sliding devices - flexible sleds, inner tubes, and saucers. They'll get pissed if they see hard toboggans or runner sleds.

Let's take a look at today's weather at the Paradise's tubing area: Rain. The rain could be heavy at times. High near 41. Southwest wind around 16 mph, with gusts as high as 28 mph. Chance of precipitation is 100%.

Hmmmm. Go Hawks!

LINK: Mount Rainier information