REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>
I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.
I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.
Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.
And the not so innocent.
Cheers!
Since Mubarak just got 86'd over in Egypt, and most incidents in the log book end up that way, too, I figure Behind Bars should roll with it and claim this week's theme to be: "86'd."
These gems were taken from the log book just as they were written.
GOD HIMSELF
"God himself came in today. He looks like a door-to-door vacuum salesman from the ‘50s. Very loud. Very red face. Very unmistakable. His family created the universe with $100,000 and extremely loud music. He will build you a space station for the low, low price of $10,000. "It's not as expensive as you think!" Needless to say, he should not be served. Ever. On second thought, he probably won't be on the streets much longer, anyway."
PERSONAL SPACE & BOUNDARIES
"I had a talk with the small, crippled Ethiopian guy about inappropriate touching of strangers. He will have to learn personal space/boundaries or he will be 86'd. Soon, someone will kick his ass, and I don't want it to happen here."
"86'd Sandy, a derelict just out of prison. Orders Cuervo and a long neck. She was frightening people with her lady parts."
So now that you know what bartenders have nightmares about, order up another round, and check back next week for more low down on weirdos, winos and wild nights at the bar.
"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB
LINK: More Aural Adventures
LINK: Big & Rich
LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book
LINK: The Tip Jar
LINK: Aural Adventures
LINK: Smooth Transitions
LINK: The Pooper