THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain, hi 54, lo 41

Saturday: Rain, hi 52, lo 40

Sunday: Rain (seriously, iPhone?), hi 49, lo 39

>>> MARCH 25-26: Bob Rivers Live

Sadly, not everyone reads the Volcano's blog, Spew. If they did, they'd know the Tacoma Comedy Club has officially moved to its new digs at 933 Market Street (think: old Rhythm and Brews locale). Spew broke that story last week. If you're looking for a prime opportunity to check out the new-look Tacoma Comedy Club, or more specifically its new location, try this weekend when radio personality Bob Rivers goes live. These shows should be especially noteworthy, as Rivers goes back on the air at Oldies 95.7 KJR FM April 1.

• Tacoma Comedy Club, 8 and 10:30 p.m., 933 Market St., Tacoma, 253.282.720]

>>> SATURDAY, MARCH 26: Atomic Outlaws do it for the kids

You need the Atomic Outlaws - a band seemingly designed specifically to accompany the moment when rock ‘n' roll and your c*** become acquainted. Nothing fancy is at play here, just straightforward, riff-heavy RAWK with a little eyeliner around the edges. Saturday, the boys do it all ages style (don't freak, bar with ID) at the suddenly awesome Louie G's in Fife.

• Louie G's Pizza, 8 p.m., $5, 4802 Pacific Hwy E #B, Fife, 253.926.0147

>>> SUNDAY, MARCH 27: Little Bill & the Blue Notes

Little Bill Engelhart is soul on wheels. He’s also probably one of the most inspirational musicians that you’re likely to meet in person. He grew up on Hilltop Tacoma and learned rock ’n’ roll by playing rhythm and blues with the black musicians’ downtown, which was unusual for a young white kid at the time. He formed a band with some of his teenage friends and had a national hit when he was just 19 titled “I’m in Love with an Angel." These days, Little Bill & the Blue Notes play all over the South Sound -- from destination Harley Davidson to Johnny's Dock. But they always make time for the Spar in Old Town, and the quintessential Tacoma restaurant's Sunday Night Blues. Little Bill and the Blue Notes will stop in again this week, making it the perfect time for you to drop in.

• The Spar, 7 p.m., NC, 2121 North 30th St., Tacoma, 253.627.8215.

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
This weekend I'll be busy praying for more sunshine, packing moving boxes, attending a pizza party at Chuck E. Cheese (speaking of pizza, have you voted for your favorites yet today?) and, of course, working some magic behind the bar.

MATT DRISCOLL Editor
I broke my toe but the vicodin ran out. I might write a blues song about it. But probably not, since I don't write blues songs. I write fluff like this. I got nothing here people ...

BRETT CHIHON Meat Market Correspondent/Features Writer
I'm going to check out El Tenampa in Tacoma this weekend. I'm prepared to take as many as three tequila shots.

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I'm seeing the neurotically uncapitalized boom at Harlequin. Also, Amanda and I are having dinner at my mom's place on Saturday, and we've been promised chicken Cordon Bleu. I've already bought the Sauvignon Blanc and Riesling, so I'll be sleeping in on Sunday.

ALEC CLAYTON: Visual Arts Critic
I'm going to work on adapting my latest novel for the stage, and Sunday afternoon we're going to see the musical Nine at Tacoma Musical Playhouse. It better be as sexy as promised.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
Friday night I'll be kicking it at Tacoma Musical Playhouse to review Nine and reveling in the fact that I get a week off work. I'm going to spend Saturday and Sunday trying to get caught up on grading.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Nightlife Correspondent
Wrestling a dingo in Jello and doing my "Photo Safari" class with a point and shoot camera at Tacoma Art Place.

JOE IZENMAN Theater and Music Writer
CAKE. Also meeting with our officiant, and addressing various other weddingly concerns. But mostly TASTING THE CAKE. (P.S. I like cake.)

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Features Writer
It's my motherfucking birthday weekend, ya'll! Hitting the town! Making it happen! Self-actualizing! Concentrating really hard on my goals and then making a wish-board out of them! Buying mad glue and construction paper! Burning every pair of pants I own! Replacing those pants with sarongs! A new and improved Rev. Adam is about to burst onto the scene! Yes!

JENNIFER JOHNSON Food and Lifestyles Writer
Friday night I'll hit HyperThrive at Marlene's in Federal Way before going to Punjab Cafe for vegetarian Indian food. Saturday I'm helping clean my church and then going to Vegfest in Seattle. Sunday I've got church all day, baby. Woooo!

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

NO, SERIOUSLY >>>

Last week the Volcano was all about SXSW 2011. You may have noticed. We dispatched the chillwave Jason Baxter and the ever-so-crunk Rev. Adam McKinney to Austin, basically hoping for something - anything - knowing damn well how much Lone Star Beer flows during the yearly music industry orgy.

Anyway, it turned out swell. The coverage - which includes a chance encounter with Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, a missed 3 a.m. Kanye West gig, plenty of Nightgowns references, and two wicked sunburns  -- can all be found here.

And, since he forgot his the USB cord for his camera, Rev. Adam just sent me some pictures - which I'll post now as a final farewell to SXSW 2011.

See you again next year, Lone Star Beer ...

The Nightgowns in shorts

Tea Cozies

A blurry Tyler, the Creator from Odd Future

Mister Heavenly (Michael Cera on bass, yo)

Ravenna Woods

The Back Pockets

Oberhofer

CasioKids

Christmas

Twin Shadow

Strange Vine

THE INTERNETS DON'T LIE >>>

Bobble Tiki was crusing the ol' Internets this morning, as he usually does with his ritual latte, Red Bull and shot of Five Hour Energy Drink, when he stumbled (alertly) on news of Spoke and Sprocket's plans to close at the end of May ... Saturday, May 28 to be exact.

You can read all about it here.

In Bobble Tiki's humble opinion, it's sad news that probably calls for something like this ...

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment comes from Jim May in regard to the ongoing Tournament of Pizza action. The Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Pizza runs through April 4, with voting every day here.

May writes,

Spuds on pacific...even after spur sold a couple of years ago. They have kept it Spuds way...and Karen is the best bartender. Place is always spot on for food...never had a bad meal there in 30 years

FRIDAY, MARCH 25, 2011 >>>

1. Paul McCartney used to be in a band before he went solo, something called the June Bugs, or the Millipedes. Anyhoo, a tribute band calling themselves Wings N Things will perform the music of Sir Paul at the all-ages Louie G's Pizzeria in Fife beginning around 8 p.m.

2. Tamara Murphy, an author in the collaborative first book TENDER: farmers, cooks, eaters, will sign the book, and demystify how to create great tasting food easily and, in most cases quickly, from 4-6 p.m. at Metropolitan Market in the Proctor District.

3. We can think of no better spot to hold an artist reception than at a wine bar that serves gourmet food. Such is the case from 6-8 p.m. when Linda Jacobus smiles before her show at Morso Wine Bar. Check out her dramatic use of natural light in her oil paintings and tip back a few glasses of the grape that Miles Raymond would no doubt enjoy.

4. Before some performances in Tacoma involving piano players, the audience has a good four or five drinks already downed before the show begins. And, during the performance, wobbly audience members will stuff cash into a tip jar. These two events most likely will not happen during the Puget Sound Piano Trio's 7:30 p.m. performance in Schneebeck Concert Hall at the University of Puget Sound, which showcases the talents of internationally acclaimed cellist and new faculty member David Requiro, and celebrated artists Duane Hulbert, piano, and Maria Sampen, violin. Although hearing Ludwig van Beethoven's "Kakadu" Variations, Opus 121a, Nicholas Omiccioli's Piano Trio No. 1 (2008), ?Gaspar Cassado's Piano Trio in C Major , and Johannes Brahms' Piano Trio in B Major, Opus 8 performed well certainly warrants a couple bucks in a violin case.

5. The Dockyard Derby Dames will host a Dance Party featuring Jello shots, prizes and rockin' country by Sammy Steele Band at 9 p.m. inside the Gruv Lounge on Sixth Avenue.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Movies open today!

FRIDAY, MARCH 25: WE'RE DOWN TO 32 PIZZA JOINTS >>>

Now it's getting exciting. The sauce is really starting to fly, and the dough is getting so thick you could cut it with a knife (OK, so that's a horrible analogy ...).

Point is: This is serious.

Today the Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Pizza officially kicks off its second round, meaning only 32 South Sound pizza joints remain, and the competition is as hot as ever. Who will be crowned champ on April 4? The path to pizza greatness starts today.

Here's a look at today's Tournament of Pizza action and a recap of yesterday's results. Shake some Parmesan on it if you know what's good for you and get rolling.

Yesterday's Results

Katie Downs vs. Alfred's Cafe & Bubble Room

In a battle of T-Town institutions, not surprisingly the institution well known for its delicious pizzas emerged decisively victorious - with Katie Downs cruising to victory and securing roughly 85 percent of the vote by the time things were said and done. This one was over early, and the pummeling lasted all day. Luckily for all of us, Alfred's Bubble Room doesn't need the Tournament of Pizza to get by ... it's got bubbles, not to mention a grubbin' corned beef hash. The high-powered Katie Downs moves on to second round action.

Engine House No. 9 vs. Abella Pizzeria

In a back and forth matchup pitting two fairly evenly matched competitors (at least in the eyes of voters, it seems), Engine House No. 9 was eventually able to pull ahead of the stout Abella Pizzeria thanks to a late run - grabby 51 percent of the votes. The loss has to be especially tough for Abella, as they entered the Tournament of Pizza with plenty of hype, mainly coming from the deliciously burnt mouth-tops of UWT students. That said, Engine House No. 9 thanks its lucky stars every time it makes a bank deposit for the damaged livers of UPS students, and it had history on its side, so the fact it's moving on to the second round isn't shocking. You can't question Engine House No. 9's following, and sometimes a following is just what it takes in the Tournament of Pizza.

Farrelli's Wood Fire Pizza vs. The Harmon Hub

Everyone loves a good comeback, and this may have been one of the better clutch performances in the (obviously short) history of the Tournament of Pizza. Down by a substantial margin by midday, Farrelli's was able to rally the troops at halftime (literally sending out an email urging people to vote), and by the time the final buzzer sounded the Sixth Avenue, family-friendly, sometimes magician employing pizza spot had walked away with an impressive victory, racking up 57 percent of the vote. Next up for Farrelli's Tacoma, a second round dogfight with Puget Sound Pizza. ...

Puget Sound Pizza vs. Sidebar Bistro

It would have been an upset of monumental proportion had Sidebar Bistro somehow managed to defeat Puget Sound Pizza, but - alas - it was never meant to be. PSP dominated from tip-off to the final seconds yesterday, collecting votes at almost a three to one ratio and securing 71 percent of the votes. Hipsters and karaoke lovers unite - PSP will not be denied! A huge battle against Farrelli's Tacoma location now looms on the horizon.

The following four pizza joints will advance to the next round:

• Katie Downs
  
• Engine House No. 9
  
• Farrelli's Wood Fire Pizza - Tacoma
  
• Puget Sound Pizza
  

Today's Competition

Sponsored by al Forno Ferruzza Traditional Sicilian Cuisine

OK, time to move on to today's pizza battles.

>>> CONTEST CLOSED. READ SATURDAY'S SPEW POSTS FOR RESULTS AND NEW MATCHUPS.

Cloverleaf Pizza vs. Joseppi's Italian Ristorante

Tipping of the second round of the Weekly Volcano's Tournament of Pizza we have heavyweight Cloverleaf Pizza, with its storied history and claims to fame, battling Joseppi's, a little nine seed that could. Both businesses are well loved within the community, so rallying support won't be an issue. The real question is: Will Joseppi's be intimidated off the court at the site of the Cloverleaf on the other bench, or will the Italian destination just tighten up the old shoelaces and go to work? The votes will decide. Analysts say Cloverleaf all the way, but the Tournament of Pizza isn't played by analysts. ...

• Cloverleaf Pizza (6430 Sixth Ave., Tacoma)
• Joeseppi's Italian Ristorante (2207 N. Pearl St., Tacoma)

Delbrocco's Philly Style Pizza vs. Pizza Casa

Pizza Casa is a Lakewood institution. Of course, so are bikini barista stands at this point, but that's not what's important here. The point is: the pie's so good they named the whole damn house after it. After handling Cerello's easily in first round action, Pizza Casa takes on Delbrocco's, a number six seed that took out Mono Pizza & Pasta in the first round without much trouble. At Delbrocco's they do it Philly style, meaning this is a pie not afraid to punch a competitor in the face (figuratively, of course). We expect a knock down drag out affair with this one.

• Delbrocco's Philly Style Pizza (3908 Sixth Ave., Tacoma)
• Pizza Casa (12924 Pacific Hwy. SW, Lakewood)

Vic's Pizzaria vs. Casa Mia

If Tournament of Pizza voting plays out anything like our recent Best of Olympia voting went down, Vic's Pizzaria is just playing warm-up ball before eventually facing off against Oldschool in the South Region finals. Of course, we all know there's a lot of Tournament of Pizza action left before that happens. Today, Vic's battles Casa Mia, a restaurant with plenty of history, packing a pie with plenty of accolades. The analysts are all picking Vic's in the pregame show, but - to be honest - Charles Barkley looks drunk. Let's just see what happens. ...

• Casa Mia (716 Plum St., Olympia)
• Vic's Pizzeria (233 Division St. NW, Olympia)

Ricardo's Ristorante vs. Farelli's of DuPont

Ricardo's may singlehandedly taint this year's Tournament of Pizza for Volcano co-publisher Ken Swarner. In the first round, after Swarner had heavily touted the prowess of Smitty's Chicago Style pizza, Ricardo's came out of nowhere and took the team down. Now, Ricardo's steps into Swarner's backyard, battling Farrelli's of DuPont in second round action. Will Swarner ever be able to leave his house again without being reminded of this year's personal pizza disappointment? Only time will tell, though the always fast and aggressive Farrelli's of DuPont will play a serious role in determining the answer to that question.

• Farrelli's Wood Fire Pizza (1590 Wilmington Dr., DuPont)
• Ricardo's Ristorante (5211 Lacey Blvd. S, Lacey)

Tomorrow's Pizza Battles: Battle in the East

Game 1: Spud's Pizza Parlor (7025 Pacific Ave., Tacoma) vs. Louie G's Pizza (4802 Pacific Hwy. E., Fife)

Game 2: Milton Tavern (7320 Pacific Hwy. E., Milton) vs. Trackside Pizza (201 N. Meridian, Puyallup)

LINK: What's up with this pizza tournament?

LINK: Oh hell yes I want the Weekly Volcano newsletter!

GREAT, NOW IT'S A WHOLE ALBUM AND SUPPORTING TOUR >>>

A good indication of exactly when Pearl Jam officially became "old" (not that there's anything wrong with that ...) is when Eddie Vedder became infatuated with the ukulele. Sure, it was cool when he busted out a rusty version of "Iron Man" on uke during one of the two Seattle Pearl Jam shows that preceded George W's election in 2000 (I as at both, and can't recount which one it was). But recent memory has seen roughly one "quaint" Vedder ukulele ballad per Pearl Jam record; they've kind of replaced the obligatory Vedder "howling and moaning over a groove" track that was required on all Pearl Jam's early efforts. It's getting a little ridiculous.

Then came Vedder's Into The Wild era, a solo foray for the surprisingly small Vedder that saw his love of the ukulele only grow.

Well, now comes the Vedder solo record, Ukulele Songs, full of - you guessed it! - nothing but originals and covers done on the uke.

Vedder announced June and July U.S. solo tour dates this morning, which include stops in Portland and Seattle, July 14 and 15, respectively. Tickets for both shows go on sale next Friday, April 1. Ukulele Songs comes out May 31.

A promotional picture of Vedder playing a ukulele on a canoe (or kayak?) paddleboard is above. The official press release is below.

Good day now.

A THEATER CRITIC GIVES CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE >>>

I recently read a piece by Volcano and News Tribune critic Alec Clayton in which he thanked his wife Gabi for help with his columns. I also have an able assistant, my fiancee, Amanda Stevens. While I can justly claim intimate knowledge of and insight into a wide variety of theatrical genres, I must admit to deficiencies with regard to American-style musical theater. I've performed in over a dozen musicals through the years, including solo singing; yet I've never directed a musical, nor can I read music. I can't play a single musical instrument, despite classes in trumpet, clarinet, piano and guitar. I wouldn't say I have a tin ear--I can carry a tune well enough--but it's often hard for me to pinpoint which instrumental soloist sounds slushy or whether a vocal issue is caused by the singer, the sound system, or poor acoustics. I've been busted fairly for giving orchestras short shrift in my reviews, and now you know why.

Amanda has no such deficiencies. She conducts and composes music, and she won intercollegiate tournaments for opera singers. The first time I heard a recording of her singing the Habanera, I thought I was being punk'd. She's also performed well in national tap dancing tournaments. So while I greatly respect Amanda's opinion about any show, I'm especially indebted to her for her expertise in musical theater. If I criticize your singing, it's a fair bet that a woman far more knowledgeable than I heard the same flaws.

Only very, very rarely do Amanda and I disagree about any element of a show, though we may differ in our valuation of a given strength or flaw. For example, she's less patient with shows over two and a half hours long, mostly because she gets up at 6:45 a.m. for her day job. I have the luxury of sleeping in. (Often, around the two-hour mark, I'll look over at her, and she'll give me the "snoozy" face.) I think directors often favor acceleration over cutting to fix time issues, but that's not our preference. I realize there are legal issues involved, but generally, if a script is too long, it's not the actors' fault--and racing through dialogue never helps. I like old musicals less than she; she finds Shakespearean tragedy more "actor-batory" than I do.

Anyway, meet Amanda. She's a genius. I don't just cart her around for her good looks, although that would certainly be reason enough.

SINGER JEFF HAMEL TALKS THROUGH HIS AWESOME BEARD >>>

This week Bobble Tiki caught up with SweetKiss Momma, a band that's been gaining steady local ground over the last year or more (thanks in small part to Volcano editor Matt Driscoll's man crush on them). Rooted in the ethos of "Southern Rock," and passionate enough about it to not come off like total tools from Puyallup just trying to get laid by chicks that love Skynyrd (goes a long way in P-Town, Bobble Tiki imagines), SweetKiss is a band seemingly defying the odds at the moment - gaining a following and going places on the back of the tunes, not the internet hype or hashtags.

There's plenty going on with the SweetKiss boys, including new members and new shows, so Bobble Tiki might as well let lead singer Jeff Hamel tell you all about it ...

To read the full story, click here.

[Stonegate Pizza, SweetKiss Momma, with Astrovan, Saturday, March 26, 9 p.m., $5, 5419 South Tacoma Way, Tacoma]

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

LACTOSE INTOXICATED

Experts and hippies agree: breastfeeding is the best way to give your baby the health and nutrition their growing minds and bodies need.

Working moms agree: pumping and engorgement in the workplace is a huge pain in the ass ... or should I say tits? Especially in the service industry, where there is hardly a moment to relieve your bladder - let alone two swollen melons, every duct bulging with milk.

So, this story takes us to one such night at work ...

The bar was filling quickly, and my breasts were doing the same. As I poured shots of Old Crow and cracked cold tall boys, all I could think about was how and where I could go to release the intense pressure, and avoid the two circles of wetness that were sure to appear through my AC/DC shirt at any minute.

Luckily, my section of the bar had a handful of my husband's friends on board, and I disclosed my dilemma to them between orders.

Since they wanted drinks, and I wanted relief, a suggestion was formulated.

Breast Milk White Russians.

While dignity and shame pulled some weight in the brief argument I had with myself, mischief and desperation ultimately won out.

I snuck into the cooler and massaged a steady stream into four buckets of ice, vodka and Kahlua.

I emerged a happier woman and delivered the drinks. As I watched the brave souls sniff and taste and declare their findings ("Not bad, kind of like rice milk"), I looked forward to hearing my husband's laugh as I told him how I ran into his friends at work.

"BEHIND BARS" LINK HUB

LINK: Thanks for playing!

LINK: After hours trivia

LINK: Bartending abroad

LINK: Oh puck!

LINK: 86'd

LINK: More Aural Adventures

LINK: Big & Rich

LINK: Tales From the Incident Log Book

LINK: The Tip Jar

LINK: Aural Adventures

LINK: Smooth Transitions

LINK: The Pooper