SATURDAY, APRIL 2, 2011 >>>

1. The Dockyard Derby Dames are back for their second game of the 2011 season with roller derby action beginning at 6 p.m. on the Pierce College campus in Lakewood. After a grudge-match that's lasted three seasons, the Hellbound Homewreckers are poised to take on the Marauding Mollys in the opening bout. Each with season championships under their belts, the Femme Fianna and Trampires are vying for dominance on the track. The winner secures a spot in the championship bout to take place in June. Bonus: A portion of ticket sales benefit Pierce County AIDS Foundation.

2. Sanford & Son Antiques will hosts a Saturday Market featuring baskets, exercise equipment, clothing, jewelry, books, stained glass and much more for sale from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

3. The Mild to Wild Hot Rods and Hot Rides show gathers a collection of hot rods, muscle cars, race cars, custom bikes, traditionals (rat rods), and low riders from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. inside the Puyallup Fair Events Center.

4. We all know Rock The Dock Pub & Grill has crazy fans. We've seen them. But they also have huge hearts. From noon to close, the waterside watering hole will host a benefit for Mary Bridge Children's Hem/Onc Department with a silent auction, raffle and The Dock tossing in 10 percent of gross sales for the children. Knee Deep, Custom, Daze of Never, O'Dark:30, High Noon Horizon, The Kingdogs and Kickstart will rock the joint from opening to close.

5. One part kitsch, one part political satire, and one part glitter, the Kinsey Sicks, describe themselves as "America's Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet." The group will skewering everyone from Condoleezza Rice to Vanna White at 7:30 p.m. inside the Theatre on the Square. With songs like "Botoxic" and "Gay Será Será," these boys in tights will bring transvestite wackiness to Tacoma.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Concert go on sale

LINK: Wine tastings!

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

4th Ave Ale House Olympia - Downtown. Godfed Static, Inside The Gates, Six Foot Cradle. Celebrating the last member of Godfed Static to turn 21 years of age. 8 pm. $4.

Bob's Java Jive Tacoma - Central. The Electrolytes. 9 pm.

The Charleston Bremerton. Three Year Anniversary Party, with The Diablotones, Nigel Mustafa, Red White & Die, Cuntry Cuntroll. Legends On Heroin. All Ages. 8 pm.

Doyle's Public House Tacoma - Stadium District. Missionary Position. 9 pm. NC.

Firwood Rock Lounge Tacoma - Downtown. D'Rocc video shoot plus Tak Patron, Lok Skywalker and Second Family. 8 pm. $10.

• Probably the most fun thing to do this week would be for you to attend D‘Rocc's video shoot. D'Rocc is one of the main up-and-comers in our hip-hop scene and he's had some big videos in the past. The video being shot this week is open to the public - meaning you can come be immortalized in the scene forever. The shoot is actually more like an event; there'll be performances by Tak Patron, Lok Skywalker and Second Family (more about these artists in future columns). Come check out the new venue and meet some of the who's who in 253 hip-hop. – Josh Rizeberg
  

FuSE Cafe Imbibery @ Pt Defiance Cafe Casino Ruston. Billy Roy Danger & The Recitifers. All Ages. 8 pm. NC.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. From The Sea, Endless Grey, Gackstatter. 9 pm. $5.

Hitchin Post Saloon Federal Way. Loose Gravel and the Quarry. 9 pm.

The Hub Tacoma - Stadium District. Radio Edit. 9 pm. NC.

The Hub Centralia. Stone Axe, Blood To Dist, Severed Few. 9 pm. NC.

• If you haven't heard Stone Axe yet you are missing out, my friend. They are the greatest classic rock band to come out in our lifetime. They have perfect riffs, well-timed harmony and storylines rivaling Rod Stewart or Black Sabbath. Stone Axe is truly climbing the stairway to heaven. The band is about to embark on a European tour, and (put braids and feathers in your hair for this one) their song "Return of the Worm," recently aired on Dog the Bounty Hunter. Despite Dog's 24 illegitimate children and anti-semantic attitude, you have to admit its pretty badass for a band to be aired on the show. Congratulations, Stone Axe, for being so damn cool. Check them out this Saturday at The Hub in Centralia, and prepare to become a super fan. - Nikki Talotta

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. No Quarter (Led Zeppelin tribute). 9 pm. $10-$12.

Louie G's Pizzeria Fife. The Fun Police. All Ages. 8 pm. $5.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Dave Hannon Band. All Ages. 8 pm. $5.

Mineral Lake Event Center Mineral. Mineral Lake Event Center Benefit, with Eric "Two Scoops" Moore, Randy Oxford's Pierce County All-Stars, Maia Santell, Jumpin' Josh, Nolan Garrett, Julie Powers, John Sparrow, The Billy Shew Band, The Elbow County Rough Riders, The Rafael Tranquilno Band, All Ages. 10 am. $25.

O'Malley's Irish Pub Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. David Dondero, Franz Nicolay (The Hold Steady), Curt Terry. 9 pm.

• Last year, Franz  Nicolay announced that he would be leaving wordy arena-rock heroes, the Hold Steady, in order to pursue a solo career, citing a feeling that he had done all he could in that band. Listening to his solo debut, Master General, and its follow-up, Luck and Courage, there are certain moments where you could see a song fitting in perfectly with the Hold Steady's cannibalistic rock ethos, such as Major General's opener and standout, the Dead Kennedys-worshiping "Jeff Penalty." Read the full story, including an interview with Nicolay, here. – Rev. Adam McKinney
  

Paddy Coynes Tacoma - Downtown. Malcolm Clark and Mike Coucoules. 10 pm. NC.

The Red Room Tacoma - Downtown. Arpeggiator, Slushy, Bitpart. All Ages. 9:30 pm. $5.

Rock the Dock Pub & Grill Tacoma - Downtown. Kids With Cancer Benefit Concert. Seven bands, magicians, jugglers, speakers, food, booze, Seahawks, Mist, Renagade calendar girls, Blitz, Big Lo Superfan, Hawkfiend Murphy, Storm, Rainiers, and many others. 11 am-1 pm. $10 donation.

The Spar Tacoma - Old Town. Billy Farmer. 8 pm.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Artichoke Project and guests in the Rock Loft. 9 pm. $5.

The Vault Olympia - Downtown. Baby Bash, Island Tribe. 9 pm.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

NO ENGLISH REQUIRED >>>

The first thing I notice when walking into the nightclub at El Tenampa Mexican Restaurant is that everyone speaks Spanish. Everyone. The guy checking ID's at the door, the lady taking my entrance fee, the bartender, the band. Each time I talk to someone, I'm forced to utter one of the most embarrassing pronunciations of "no habla español," Tacoma has ever heard.

Some would find the lack of English in the club intimidating. For my money, though, it just adds to the fact that El Tenampa is one of the coolest nightclubs in town.

To read the full story, click here.

[El Tenampa Mexican Restaurant, Open until 2 a.m. on weekends, $20 cover for men, 3121 S. 38th St., Tacoma, 253.474.3405]

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT >>>

I was a virgin. It was my first time ... ever. I had no idea what I'd been missing.  And it all happened in the Church - Church of Great Rain to be specific. I've been converted. I want more. 

Church of Great Rain is a musical variety show held every six weeks on Vashon island. Each 90-minute show features the Church House Band, twisted news and irreverent views by the Holy Roller Radio Players, amazing musical guests and a lively inspiring sermon by the Rev. Hunter Davis. It's A Prairie Home Companion with a Monty Python twist.  The show, or Church, has taken Vashon Island by storm, drawing near capacity crowds at Open Space for Arts & Community.

Last February, 500 or so folks joined me for a Love In The Afternoon-themed Church. The local and diversely talented actors, musicians, writers, and technical crew clearly took pure delight in creating, producing and performing awesome live music and whacky comedy sketches - all inspired by Vashon's, charming unusual populace, the Pacific Northwest and the intrigue of living near a live volcano. The musical guests were Publish The Quest - the hottest band I've heard in ages. Think blues, rock, ska, and world pop mixed up and decolonized. I squirmed and wiggled in my seat to their thumping bass, sassy horns and wicked guitar. Hot!

Apparently, Tacoma's own Vicci Martinez has performed at Church, too.

Tomorrow, another Church show hits the Island promising to propel me into a silly state of mind for April foolishness. I can't wait to hear this month's musical guest Teresa Tudury and her bluesy originals of passion, verve and disarming humor. 

More Laughing? Bring it on! I'm in love now. I can't wait! You should join me, too. – Chiara Wood, Queen of the 253

LINK: Church of Great Rain April Foolishness details

This past week was a busy one for 27^th District Washington State Reps Laurie Jinkins and Jeannie Darneille, as both fought for progressive and community causes.

A bill Jinkins sponsored calling for legal recognition in Washington of same-sex marriages from other states has been passed in both legislative houses and appears well on its way to becoming state law. On Wednesday Jinkins wrote on her Facebook page, "really proud that the first bill I've sponsored that will be signed into law by Gov. Gregoire will be HB 1649 . . . requiring that valid same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions be recognized as domestic partnerships here in Washington."

It appears that downtown's Washington State History Museum will not be closing. According to the News Tribune, Rep. Darneille said she expects the spending plan being developed by House Democrats to include her proposal to preserve the museum and others like it. Darneille's proposal seeks to merge the museum with other culture programs and pay for the merger using money from a planned construction project in Olympia. Although it isn't clear if Darneille's plan will ultimately be used, both Democrats and Republicans in Olympia have expressed an expectation the Washington State History Museum will be saved.

In judicial news, Governor Gregoire announced Tuesday she will appoint Tacoman Gary Johnson to the Pierce County Superior Court. Johnson currently gigs as president and senior partner at the law offices of Kram, Johnson, Wooster & McLaughlin in Tacoma. Johnson will replace Judge Gary Steiner, who retired in February. Johnson has some experience on the high chair (just made that term up, hoping it catches on), previously serving as pro tem judge for Kitsap County District Court, the Port Orchard Municipal Court, and briefly as a pro tem judge for the Pierce County Superior Court.

Of more interest to Volcano folk (or at least to me), The Tacoma Arts Commission selected Josie Emmons Turner as the 2011-2013 Poet Laureate for the City of Tacoma. For the next two years Turner will provide free poetry related workshops, readings at public events, participate in various city/community events, and will be an over-all Tacoma arts community bad-ass.

Our current poet laureate, Tammy Robacker, will be on hand at the Urban Forest Project Tacoma's kickoff, being held today from 1 to 4 p.m. at Tollefson Plaza downtown. Event planners invite the public to learn how to "Speak for the Trees" (insert stoner joke here). In celebration of Arbor Day, local arborists will be present to answer questions about trees, guests will be reading poems about their "love of lush vegetation" (that's straight from the City's webpage), and elected officials including Mayor Strickland and Ryan Mello will be speaking about what is being done to grow Tacoma's urban forest.

Finally, speaking of Mello, he officially announced his candidacy to retain his seat on the Tacoma City Council. I sat down with him last week to talk about his goals, vision for Tacoma, and upcoming campaign. Check for the feature in our Mudroom section early next week.

"CONTENTS OF A DREAM" ON DISPLAY AT WILLIAM TRAVER GALLERY >>>

If you missed Preston Singletary's big mid-career retrospective at the Museum of Glass last year, or if you saw that show and would like to see more of his works, this is your chance. William Traver Gallery in Tacoma now has an exhibition of new works by Singletary called Contents of a Dream.

Singletary is one of the Northwest's most well respected Native American artists, known for creating traditional Tlingit art with contemporary materials, thus giving a modern cast to ancient art forms.

To read Alec Clayton's full review, click here.

[William Traver Gallery, Tuesday-Saturday 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. and Sunday noon - 5 p.m., through April 17, 1821 E. Dock St., Tacoma, 253.383.3685]

BOUQUET OF TASTE >>>

ANNOUNCER: As part of a property that holds a plant nursery, garden (complete with reception area for 300 people), full-fledged windmill, picture-perfect gazebo, florist shop and Mama Stortini's catering facilities, Windmill Bistro in Sumner is just one of many points of interest. Housed in the restored Sandland home, the bistro menu focuses on Pacific Northwest cuisine. The restaurant has been open since 2002, and the menu showcases native plants, herbs, meats and seafood. Currently serving lunch and weekend breakfast, dinner service will begin in May.

To read Jake and Jason DePaul's full review, click here.

[Windmill Bistro at Windmill Gardens, 16009 60th St. E., Sumner, 253.826.7897]

SUNDAY, APRIL 3, 2011 >>>

1. Back in February, King Solomon's Reef in Olympia caught fire. Again. Tonight at the Brotherhood, there's a super-worthy benefit for the Reef and its employees. Find details here.

2. Since it's Sunday, and the performances were for one weekend only, today marks your final shot to see Too Many Sopranos at UPS.

3. The Red Hot Bloues Sisters play The Spar in Tacoma tonight. Or, if that doesn't tickle your musical fancy, find the Volcano's extensive South Sound live local music calendar here.

4. Up the street, Fareed Haque's MathGames will be at Doyle's. Fareed Haque, for those jamming on it at home, Fareed Haque has made a substantial name for himself as the guitarist and co-founder of Garaj Mahal.

5. Tonight marks the always awesome Star Chefs on Broadway performance at the Pantages Theater. Judging by past events, this promises to be one of the most talked about and memorable nights of the year. Sadly, however, it is sold out. If you're not lucky enough to be going, try checking the Volcano's comprehensive arts and events calendar here.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MONDAY, APRIL 4, 2011 >>>

1. Even though their name might suggest wonderful softness, freshness and static control, The Fabulous Downey Brothers are not as soft as the Fabulous Baker Boys. Liam Downey and his older brother, Sean, bring the punk pop out of Olympia with such tunes as "Canadian Rum" and "Eat Dirt." No "Makin' Whoopee" here. Nope, they're charging hard with fellow bandmates Chandra Farnsworth, Myrtice Dobler, Freddy Dobler, Kenrick Ward, Jessica Geez, and J. Alex Link. Catch them with Boats at 8 p.m. inside the all-ages venue Northern in downtown Olympia.

2. Our planet is going down. Way, way down. To the mat, hard and painful, and with a sad moaning broken-boned crunch.  A diving Al Gore elbow off the top turnbuckle for the finish.  Down, I tell you. Humans are chewing Mother Earth up, spitting her out, stomping and gobbling and burning and gouging and drilling and sucking her dry. All we want is more and faster and with less consequence, and pretty soon our planet is gonna go, well, there you are, I'm finished, sorry, and boom zing groan, done. So ... celebrate our great planet while it's still here in the form of Bob Lane's natural images, landscapes and backyard scenes - in a variety of media including acrylic, oil, watercolor and charcoal - from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Mary Boze Gallery inside the Tahoma Unitarian Universalist Church. His work will be on display through May 10.

3. We like cartoons as much as the next slacker.  Maybe even more. In fact, we like to think that we're moderately versed in cartoons. Still, we get intimidated when we ponder underground cartoonists. Underground cartoonists of the 1960s and 70s used to answer their shocked critics with the reply, "It's only lines on paper, folks." This continued into the Newave comix era of the 1980s when a small group of radical comic artists redefined the medium and pioneered the use of photocopy technology as a form of DIY publishing. Writer and veteran Newave cartoonist Steve Willis will trace these lines on paper from the 1960s to the present, and how our responses to them have changed our culture in a noon lecture at the State Capital Museum.

4. Awesome. Beginning today there's another reason to head to Old Town Tacoma (and, of course, end the trip with a beer at The Spar or a glass at Café Divino). Throwing Mud Gallery, a new gallery and pottery studio in Old Town, celebrates its grand opening from 5-8 p.m. with prizes and refreshments. Ceramicist Mark Hudak and his wife, Eileen, offer handcrafted pottery, jewelry, wood and glass, as well as clay classes. Check it out at 2212 N. 30th St.

5. Ah, the college years. Sleeping in, skipping classes and making eyes with Chad Hunkenstein. Who among us wouldn't want to go back, at least for a night? Well, now we can. Every Monday night, the best bounce shooters and beer drinkers in the area converge at Steilacoom Pub & Grill to battle it out in a weekly beer pong tournament. Cheap pitchers and food specials coincide with the Ping-Pong shooting madness. Sign up begins at 9 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MONDAY, APRIL 4: THIS IS FOR ALL THE PEPPERONI >>>

The titanic pizza throwdown finale in on! Voting for the 2011 Weekly Volcano Tournament of Pizza Readers' Poll Championship game is live right now.

After three weeks of voting, you have picked the most popular pizza joints in the South Sound area. What began as 64 slice-slinging joints has been narrowed down to two: Katie Downs and Apollo's Pizza & Pasta.

Who do you think has the best pizza?

Today's Championship Competition

Sponsored by al Forno Ferruzza Traditional Sicilian Cuisine

Vote for only one pizza joint, then scroll to the bottom and click "Done." Only one vote per person. Any duplicate or Spam responses will be disqualified.

Katie Downs Waterfront Restaurant vs. Apollo's Pizza & Pasta

Only 16,280 pizzas end-to-end separate Katie Downs on Tacoma's Ruston Way  from Apollo's Pizza & Pasta in West Olympia. This is Tacoma vs. Olympia people. This is for pizza bragging rights for the entire South Sound.

Katie Downs Waterfront Restaurant serves 6-inch and 12-inch deep-dish pizzas loaded, and we mean loaded with cheese. They offer eight theme pizzas, which they call "classic combinations." You can also create your own pizza. Each pizza is hand rolled and baked for 20 to 25 minutes. It's a 21 and older joint with a full bar. It's named after original co-owner Mike Ebert's grandmother. They accept pizza to go orders, but we can't fathom why you'd ever leave their view

The sleek Apollo's Pizza & Pasta just released a new menu last week. Besides being able to create your own thin-crust pizzas (small, medium and large) with pillowy edges, they offer specialty pies, too. New additions to the menu include Phoebe's Phave - a comforting mouthful of thick crust with mac 'n' cheese and pepperoni toppings - and the Arika - a cheesy creation with spinach, onion, cashews and ricotta cheese. They also serve a 7-inch pita pizza. Apollo's sports a side bar titled "Heaven" with a large screen television and low-priced cocktails.