HUSBAND, WIFE DECLARE END TO MAJOR CONFLICT >>>

After two weeks of frequently intense fighting along the bedroom-hallway border, married couple Martha and Mitch Smalsky declared an end to major conflict today.

"With Mitch agreeing not to leave his dirty socks right in front of the sofa, to check out that weird knocking sound in the Camry, and to stop interrupting me in front of his parents, I'm happy to announce that major combat operations are over," Martha said.

In a separate statement, Mitch hailed the end of major conflict, but noted that heavy skirmishing over whether he could still catch the South Sound theater premiere of the new Showtime original series The Borgias Saturday, April 2 at The Grand Cinema in Tacoma is still in debate.

"There's a limited number of free tickets!" Mitch screamed from the basement. This isn't an April Fools joke. You have to call Click! Cable TV at 253.502.8900 to get the tickets!"

Martha wouldn't return our calls.

From Showtime: Stars Oscar-winning actor Jeremy Irons as Rodrigo Borgia, the cunning, manipulative patriarch of The Borgia family who builds an empire through the corruption of the holy Catholic Church and orchestrates a relentless reign of power and flamboyant cruelty. The series begins as Rodrigo (Irons), bribes, buys and muscles his way into the papacy becoming Pope Alexander VI. The series is set in one of the most significant periods in history: the Western Renaissance and the discovery of the New World.